Many narcissists have an annoying habit of not giving straight answers. They give vague, meaningless answers, leaving you confused and bewildered.

They may pretend they didn’t hear you, change the subject, answer a question with a question, or answer a completely different one. No wonder narcissists are such adept politicians!

But what’s going on? Why don’t narcissists give straight answers? Here are some reasons…

Confusion Tactics

If a narcissist makes a mistake, they may deliberately use vagueness to confuse the subject. They hope you’ll give in out of frustration, rather than pressuring them about it.

Deliberate vagueness allows them to twist what they say, backtrack, and play on “misinterpretations.” Ultimately, you have no choice but to give in.

Alternative To Lying

Some narcissists prefer not to lie. They know they might be caught out. And narcissists hate being wrong. So they only resort to lying when absolutely necessary.

Instead of lying, some of them twist their answers. You might ask them, “Do you have money for your children’s school trip?”

Related : Why Narcissists Are Draining

They’ll respond, “I don’t have money in my wallet.” They know they do!

And if you call them out, they’ll say, “I didn’t lie. I said I didn’t have money in my wallet.”

But in reality, that’s a lie. But they’ll slip away and pretend it isn’t. This leaves you frustrated and resigned.

Narcissists Want You To Be Unsure

Sometimes narcissists are intentionally vague because they want you to feel uncertain. They know you’re more in control if you’re cautious and uncertain about what’s going on.

Narcissists take control of you through vagueness. It’s their subtle way of telling you that you’re not important.

Deliberate vagueness can undermine your self-esteem because they don’t give you the respect that a correct answer would. Narcissists know that someone who feels insecure and lacks confidence is more controllable.

This is just one of the many ways narcissists undermine your self-esteem.

Narcissists Keep Their Options Open

Narcissists sometimes deliberately vague to keep their options open. They often do this after they’ve left one person for another.

They reconnect and show their charm. When asked, “So, does this mean we’re back together?” they respond, “I have a lot on my mind right now.” They don’t say yes, and they don’t say no.

This usually means they’re still interested in a romantic relationship elsewhere. So they hint that you’re back together, but they don’t say it outright. Then they see how things go with the other person. You can’t label them as cheaters. “I never said we’re back together.”

Easier To Blame

Nonspecific statements are harder to defend yourself with. For example, a narcissist might say, “You don’t love me enough.”

This weakens your position and makes you feel like you’ve wronged them. But they don’t specifically explain why you don’t love them or what behaviors you need to change.

They don’t say things like, “You never return my texts or calls,” or, “You never hug me anymore,” because that’s specific and concrete.

A vague accusation sets you up for a follow-up. They can keep accusing you of this no matter what you do. You’ll be left feeling inadequate, but not knowing what to do about it.

Then they have an advantage. If you call them out on their behavior, they can turn things around and resort to this accusation: “I did it because you don’t love me enough.”

Stolen

A narcissist may use vagueness to try to stall you while they think of an answer. This may be because they’re not honest, so they need time to think about an answer.

If a narcissist lies a lot or has hidden secrets, they need to be careful about everything they say. Otherwise, they could get themselves into trouble and procrastinate all the time.

Or it may be because they want to plan the best answer. Narcissists are naturally cunning and want things to work out as well as possible. So, they may take time to think about the best answer for their own benefit.

Narcissists Love Mystery

I’ve noticed that some narcissists love mystery, suggesting that they’re important and have “things going on” in their lives.

I remember a narcissistic friend saying to me, “I’m going out for a few minutes.” I asked him where he was going, and he gave me a vague answer: “I just have to sort out a few things.”

Related : How Narcissist Relationships Typically Play Out

He continued to do this, so on this occasion, I decided to press him for an answer. I kept pressing him until he finally relented and admitted he was going to buy some batteries!

Conclusion

In short, narcissists are vague because they don’t want to be held accountable for what they say. Vagueness gives them the upper hand. It gives them the opportunity to change the course of events, if they want.

Narcissists use vague statements to control and manipulate, leaving you confused and off-balance. It’s a situation they enjoy.

Narcissists don’t want things to be fair. Vagueness is another tool narcissists use to play dirty.

If the narcissist is vague, stay calm and remember your original point of view. Keep coming back to it calmly. They don’t like that at all!