At the end of a normal relationship, we usually give and receive closure, especially if it’s a long-term marriage.

We affirm the end of the relationship, discuss the reasons for it, and acknowledge our flaws and incompatibilities.

But narcissists don’t do that. They end relationships abruptly, without an honest discussion of the reasons, and certainly not admitting fault.

If a narcissist ends a relationship, it’s usually a surprise. They tell you they’re leaving… and they leave. Sometimes you don’t understand.

If you end the relationship, the narcissist may not accept it’s over and may continue to act as if you were in a relationship, even if it’s dead.

No matter the circumstances, narcissistic relationships never truly feel like they’re over. They feel like a dark cloud looming over you, and you don’t know what happened or where you stand.

Related : 15 Examples How Narcissists Use The Truth To Lie

This ambiguity raises many questions and can haunt you for years.

There are many reasons why narcissists don’t offer a happy ending. Some are intentional, others are unintentional. Here’s a summary of the main reasons they don’t offer a happy ending…

Narcissists_Want_You_As_A_Backup

The most common reason narcissists don’t offer a happy ending is because they want to keep you as a backup option. Most narcissists need lasting relationships. Once one relationship ends, they quickly look for another.

If they end a relationship, they’ve likely found someone else. Perhaps they were cheating, or perhaps they had a crush they were trying to prank. Narcissists rarely end relationships to sit at home alone.

Narcissists aren’t stupid when it comes to support. They realize they need near-constant attention. So they deny their breakup with their ex, putting it on the back burner in case their new relationship deteriorates.

Narcissists may hint at rekindling the relationship or remain “friends” to keep you hopeful.

Denying the breakup keeps the door open and encourages their exes to wait as a backup option. Unfortunately, they may not be the only ones on the list.

Narcissists Don’t Admit Mistakes

Because of their delusions of superiority, narcissists find it difficult to admit their mistakes. This, in their view, means they’re not special, which damages their fragile ego.

So, narcissists either avoid talking about the end of the relationship or lie and blame others.

Related : 13 Things Narcissists Take From You That You’ll Never Get Back

This leaves their exes with many questions and few answers, which upsets them.

If you’re in this situation, it’s best to learn as much as you can about narcissistic behavior, as this reveals more about your relationship than the narcissist admits.

Narcissists Have Many Secrets

Narcissists often keep many secrets from their partners. From affairs to financial abuse. Who knows what else? But they don’t want the truth revealed.

Narcissists want to be admired publicly. Their public reputation is important to them, and they realize that if people knew their true colors, no one would approach them.

So they avoid telling you about the bad things they’ve done. Because as an ex, you might tell others, which could be a source of shame for them and destroy their carefully constructed public image.

So they may refuse to put their problems to rest because they’re unwilling to reveal their flaws and twisted behaviors. They’re desperate to create the impression that they’re better than they are.

Narcissists Lack Empathy

Empathy means seeing things from someone else’s perspective. But narcissists struggle with this. They don’t realize how abruptly ending a long-term relationship affects you.

Narcissists only see things from their perspective. If they want to leave, it’s usually because they’ve found someone else, and that’s their focus, not yours.

So a narcissist may coldly reject you and not offer you a proper ending. This is because they no longer need you. And, to them, your needs are not on their mind.

If You End The Relationship

If you end the relationship, a narcissist may not accept it’s over, especially if they have no other options to fall back on.

Most narcissists need to stay in relationships all the time to provide adequate support. Above all, they hate being defeated.

Related : 10 Things That Make The Narcissist Dangerously Vengeful

Ending a relationship undermines a narcissist’s self-esteem. They often interpret it as your belief that you’re better than them, which fuels their competition.

Therefore, the narcissist may cling to the relationship tightly because they can’t stand being alone. They don’t accept your rejection. They may even try to win you back, just so they can end the relationship this time.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists are notorious for not offering closure at the end of their relationships, and this can be frustrating to their exes.

This neglect may be intentional, to keep their ex in the background, or a result of their own preoccupation and lack of awareness. Either way, it’s upsetting and unfair to their exes. But there’s no point in pursuing them for answers.

Narcissists are unlikely to tell the truth; they’ll likely cause more damage with their lies and blame-shifting. They may use your request for closure as an opportunity to manipulate their thoughts.

As I mentioned earlier, learn as much as you can about narcissistic behaviors, as they are somewhat predictable, and the events that occurred during your relationship will make more sense, allowing you to heal and move on. This is the best closure you can get from a narcissistic relationship.