While it’s wrong to say that all narcissists cheat, it’s true that they are unfaithful, even if they remain loyal in relationships.

Narcissists exploit their partners, taking more than they give. They belittle them. They flirt with them for attention. And they disappear in their time of need.

If you offered a narcissist the chance to replace their partner with someone “better,” they would cut you off. Regardless of what their partner has done for them or their history.

Narcissists, however, expect unwavering loyalty in return. They may constantly test their partners, accusing them of unfaithfulness.

What happens? Why aren’t narcissists loyal to their partners? Here are several reasons why narcissists are unfaithful…

What happens? Why aren’t narcissists loyal to their partners? Here are several reasons why narcissists are unfaithful…

Narcissists lack emotional empathy

Narcissists lack emotional empathy. Here, you instinctively feel for someone. When they’re happy, you feel happy for them. When they’re sad, you feel their pain. If you hurt them, you feel guilty.

Related : The Infant That Is The Narcissist

Narcissists’ lack of emotional empathy prevents them from connecting on a deep level. This is because they don’t share other people’s feelings. They may admire someone, find them helpful, and enjoy their company, but they don’t connect with them on a deep emotional level.

This allows narcissists to hurt you without blinking. They avoid you in your time of need, or they ignore your feelings.

Narcissists may feel temporarily ashamed. But they quickly suppress this feeling and justify their actions. This is usually by blaming you or someone else. This way, their conscience is clear, no matter what they did to you.

This lack of emotional empathy affects how they treat you. This is because there is no emotional response when they do something wrong. They are therefore free from the empathic chains that bind us together.

Narcissists Feel Entitled

Narcissists feel entitled to do whatever they want. Normal rules don’t apply to them. Because they’re superior and privileged, they are. But the rules still apply to everyone else.

Narcissists aren’t shy about holding others to high standards while they do what they want. This leads to many hypocritical situations.

For example, a narcissist might expect you to toe the line and demand you be home by 8 p.m. But they won’t accept your “control” when you ask them why they didn’t come home last night.

Narcissists often believe that loyalty is for followers, for those beneath them. However, they feel entitled to demand unwavering loyalty because they are entitled to it, and at the same time, they are entitled not to give it.

Assume Everyone Thinks Like You

It’s natural to assume that people think like us. This is why so many empaths fall for narcissists. But narcissists do this too.

Narcissists assume that everyone is just as narcissistic as they are, that they are self-interested and trying to manipulate others for their own gain.

Related : The Narcissist And The Screwdriver

So, narcissists don’t feel they need to offer loyalty. Because in their world, loyalty doesn’t exist. It’s an act everyone pretends to be.

So, narcissists enjoy creating a facade of loyalty, when in reality, they’re the exact opposite. Because that’s what everyone else is doing in their minds. And they have to fight fire with fire.

Narcissists Fear Abandonment

Most narcissists suffer from a fear of abandonment. This may stem from a neglectful childhood. But even without this, narcissists fear abandonment because it proves they’re not superior.

Narcissists suffer from delusions of superiority. It’s important to maintain these delusions to bolster their fragile self-esteem. Therefore, they actively avoid anything that would shatter their delusions, because abandonment would show they’re not as great as they think they are.

So, the narcissist may abandon his partner, to throw punches at him before his partner abandons him.

These abandonments may include flirting with others, disappearing overnight, having full-blown affairs, or even abandoning them.

The narcissist feels comfortable with these reckless behaviors because if their partner ever dumps them, they will hold their head high. They dumped them first, giving them the “win” and maintaining their illusions of superiority.

Narcissistic Supply

Narcissistic supply is one of the main drivers of most narcissists’ behavior. It represents the attention, admiration, and special treatment they receive from others.

Narcissists need narcissistic supply almost all the time. Their lives are a constant pursuit of it. That’s why they hate being alone, seek out compliments, and brag about anything that resembles an accomplishment.

This pursuit of narcissistic supply often leads them to flirt and have affairs because they cannot resist the attention, especially if it is handed to them on a platter.

Related : Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty For No Contacting Narcissists

For narcissists, attention is usually a greater attraction than sex itself. This is because they believe that whoever finds them attractive is someone who worships them. And sex is someone who worships them. This is one of the biggest doses of supply they can get.

Decline_Supply

Over time, narcissists feel a decrease in supply from their primary partner. Because they’ve already won them over, their attention becomes less exciting. Consequently, their supply decreases from before.

So, after a while in the relationship, they may no longer have enough supply to meet their needs (through no fault of their partner). This drives them to seek out another partner.

This makes the prospect of finding someone new more attractive. This is because the new source of supply always outweighs the old one. They are in short supply. So, in their impulsive mind, they have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Impressing a stranger or a friend

If you’re close to a narcissist, you’ve probably noticed that they prefer impressing strangers over loved ones. They do their best to help casual acquaintances, but they don’t offer much to their family.

Narcissists gain a lot of support by winning new “admirers.” This works in friendships and romantic relationships. But they don’t get the same feeling when they win over their families, because they believe that relationship is over.

This often leads to confusing and frustrating situations, where the narcissist displays extreme loyalty to people they barely know, while being cold and indifferent to their families.

Narcissists Hate Being Needed

Narcissists need people more than most people. Support requires people. But it’s difficult to win over new people all the time. So they need people around them to ensure a constant flow of support.

However, narcissists also crave power and resent anyone who has power over them. This puts them in a difficult position. They need people, but they don’t want anyone to have power over them.

Narcissists are keenly aware of power dynamics and realize that if someone has something they need, they can take it away. This gives them power.

Related :; How Narcissists Use Arguments To Their Advantage

This conflict drives narcissists to resent their loved ones and treat them coldly, as if they don’t need them. This is because they want to prove their self-sufficiency, even though they aren’t.

This leads them to reject their families and treat them poorly, all to hide their need for support.

Final Thoughts

Narcissists are lone wolves who need people. They aren’t looking for connection, they’re looking for narcissistic support.

To sustain that support, narcissists need people around them. So they treat them with enough kindness to sustain them, while extracting as much as possible.

This mindset doesn’t lead to loyalty; it’s more like an extraction process. Although they may appear loyal when they’re eager to spend time with you and keep you in their lives, they may appear to be loyal.

To the narcissist, you’re a commodity to be used. Not all commodities are created equal. Some people offer better value than others. Unfortunately, your value diminishes over time.

Narcissists don’t care about you as an individual, only what you can offer them. So, if a “better” offer comes along, you’re likely to be let go, regardless of everything you’ve done for them. Unfortunately, loyalty plays no role.