Narcissistic abuse syndrome is the wrong word for your condition. The word syndrome stands for “psychological disorder,” and in PLR survivors we know what a psychological disorder is.
Over a decade ago, my book Women in Love with Psychopaths: Inside Inevitably Harmful Relationships with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths came out. It was noteworthy because it was the first book on relationship dynamics and the traumatic effects of these “pathological” relationships. As such, they are called Pathological Love Relationships (PLRs).
Read : Why Narcissistic Abuse is so Damaging
I did as I had spent my entire career working in the field of ‘psychopathology’. ’ What I noticed in a new, not yet established field of these types of relationships was that these relationships had to be differentiated from bad, dysfunctional, and even ‘only’ violent ones because what made them so dangerous was the incurable disease of their partner.
Satisfying love relationships
To highlight that a pathological partner is more dangerous than just a bad partner, I named them Pathological Love Relationships (PLRs) as a way to bring public awareness to the danger of group B and psychopaths. Sadly, survivors are beginning to call them “toxic” relationships—a generic, generic word akin to “dysfunctional” that has lost its “pathological” description to highlight the danger of these relationships.
But in addition to missing his description of paying attention to a partner’s “pathological disorders,” survivors have made a name for the traumatic outcomes of those relationships they’ve dubbed “narcissistic abuse syndrome” that wreaks horrible harm on victims seeking education and recovery.
Here’s why…
As the oldest agency providing clinical services to this population, we have conducted most of the research, data collection and surveys on this topic over the past 30 years. In one of our datasets, it was observed that 90% of PLR survivors had some type of traumatic reaction from the PLR.
50-75% of those survivors who experience traumatic reactions will go on to develop a traumatic disorder such as acute stress disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and C-PTSD. This means that most survivors suffer from traumatic stress disorder and require treatment for trauma.
Trauma disorder symptoms are called “consequences” which is also potentially unfortunate because it seems to describe something “unique” to PLRs and thus has become sort of the PLR community’s description of what everyone experiences. While this is true, not describing it as it is – traumatic disorder masks what survivors need treatment for.
Many survivors have not sought recovery from trauma because they do not know they have traumatic stress disorder because it is called “post-traumatic” and they do not access clinical services for what they perceive to have “consequences.” Post-traumatic stress disorder. They are shock reactions, most of which are typical PTSD symptoms, and some atypical that need to be highlighted to therapists for treatment (which the association does).
The concept of pathological love relationships as a dangerous and destructive one and thus as a general pathology education is not only about narcissism. PLR includes all DSM5 cluster B disorders as well as psychopathy. Narcissistic personality disorder is one disorder in a group of disorders that overlap with other disorders in the group, and most narcissists also suffer from other disorders in the group. There is rarely a single problem.
Therefore, pathological love relationships as dangerous and destructive relationships include all disorders of group B and psychopathy.
borderline personality disorder
Narcissistic personality disorder
Antisocial personality disorder
and mental illness
Several research articles indicate that 60% of people with one cluster B disorder have more than one extra-group personality disorder. Calling it narcissistic abuse syndrome fails to draw attention to other potential disorders they also suffer from. This also does not include other co-occurring disorders such as addiction, mood disorders, and impulse control problems that all personality disorders carry as well.
Calling it “narcissistic” abuse is not a complete picture of the possibility that narcissists may also have borderline, antisocial, psychiatric, or trait disorders. It is a poor education in general pathology that does not include an understanding of the overlapping conditions of personality disorders as described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.
In addition, while highlighting “narcissism,” it ignores general pathology education about other disorders in the group forcing more fragmented general pathology education to only correct narcissism’s misleading and creating more work for those of us in general pathology education.
In addition, the word “syndrome” is also misleading. The word syndrome stands for “psychological disorder,” and we in PLR survivors know what a psychological disorder is: it is a traumatic disorder. So, label it so that survivors know what to seek help for as a specific disorder associated with abuse of pathological persons of all kinds in group B and psychopathy.
As the only official Association for the Education of Mental Health Professionals and the Education of General Pathologists, the Association officially concludes that:
Group B relationships/psychopathic partners are called Pathological Love Relationships (PLRs) highlighting the seriousness of these relationships as the pathological condition of Group B personality disorders and psychopathy that results in harm to others as stated in the DSM.
that these relationships include BPD, NPD, ASPD, and psychopathy disorders and not a single group B disorder;
that the effects of relationships are most often a type of traumatic disorder;
Treating the Trauma of the Pathological Relationship is a defining clinical model for an approach to care that is trauma-informed, evidence-based, and trauma-specific including conventional trauma therapy and atypical trauma therapy as established, produced, and taught by The Organization.
