If you are in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic tendencies, you know that leaving a narcissist is an especially difficult decision to make.

This decision may have little to do with your feelings for your partner, and more to do with your fear of how they will react to you trying to leave.

Narcissists are selfish. They have to have everything their way, and losing someone they consider “theirs” can make it a difficult and stressful decision to end your relationship.

There are four types of narcissists you can encounter, and you may be confused by their behavior and wonder if it is really narcissism to begin with, or if you are terrified to suspect it.

Related: What I Wish I’d Known Before I Fell For A Narcissist

Leaving a narcissist can be difficult due to self-doubt.
This uncertainty—on top of the already difficult decision to end the relationship—can make leaving a narcissist even more difficult.

In fact, I’m not sure what they might be trying to do when they break the news. Will they cry, scream, complain?

Will they beg and cajole? Or will they go further, to more terrifying extremes?

There are a lot of difficult realities that come with ending a relationship with a narcissist, so it’s important to understand what you’re dealing with by identifying the different types of narcissists.

There are four types of narcissism.
Great, weak, sectarian, and malicious.

Grandiose narcissists are often seen in the news and portrayed in movies. They focus on power, money and prestige.

Vulnerable narcissists are insecure and highly sensitive to criticism, avoid attention, but still make everything in their lives revolve around them.

Societal narcissists enjoy power and attention (like boastful narcissists), but they get it through their benevolence and good nature. They may present themselves as compassionate and benevolent, even though the only thing they care about is how it reflects on them.

Malignant narcissists are mean and aggressive toward others. They may look like psychopaths.

Narcissists can exhibit a number of these behaviors, which can make the relationship very difficult to understand and deal with.

If you are leaving a narcissist, here are 7 strategies to consider.

1. Do not deal with them.
   Narcissists will want to control the conversation and interaction, so the best strategy is to not involve them at all.

If the narcissist is your child’s father, this can be difficult. You will want to participate as little as possible and keep the conversation focused on the facts. Provide as little information as possible.

2. Set boundaries.
   Boundaries and more boundaries are needed with narcissists.

Make sure you create and follow up with them. For example, if you ask them not to call you, and you receive a call from them, do not answer the phone.

3. Make a plan and stick to it.
   They won’t change their behavior if you’re more caring, loving, or understanding, despite what they lead you to believe.

Decide how you will and will not interact with them and stick to your plan.

4. Don’t believe anything they say.
   A narcissist will say anything to make you believe him. Anticipate and anticipate false statements and broken promises.
5. Don’t let your guard down.
   They look for when you are feeling down or showing any weakness, and they will swoop in and take advantage of you.

Narcissists are keenly aware and attuned to searching for weaknesses. They are willing to verbally attack and manipulate you.

6. Make suggestions, not demands.
   If you tell, ask, or demand something, you will likely lose in your interaction with a narcissist. Instead, try casually suggesting an idea and seeing if they accept it.
7. Don’t get emotional.
   When you respond with emotion, you feed the narcissist’s ego. If you appear unemotional, they may get bored and will usually leave you alone.

It will be helpful to the narcissist if you sometimes react, and sometimes not, emotionally to his manipulative statements or gestures, so be consistent.

Related: To My Narcissistic, Manipulative Ex-Boyfriend: Have Fun Living With Yourself

What are the personality traits of narcissists?

The personality traits typically exhibited by Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are “an inflated sense of one’s own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, disturbed relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.”

Other symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder can include having “…a grandiose sense of self-importance; preoccupied with delusions of unlimited success, power, intelligence, security, or perfect love; seeing themselves as special, unique, and exploitative of others.”

Why does this make leaving a narcissist so difficult?
Narcissists live by manipulating others. You may find it difficult to leave because the narcissist has gradually encouraged behavior he wants and discouraged behavior that does not suit him.

You may have no one to talk to, and the narcissist destroys friendships and even family relationships by speaking negatively about your friends and preventing you from seeing them.

If you have thought about leaving a narcissist, you may feel alone and unsure of where to get help because you have lost touch with your support system.

The narcissist drains your energy, so you are too exhausted to change the status quo.
You may also feel afraid to leave because of manipulative statements your partner has said to you, such as: “You will never find anyone who cares for you and loves you as much as I do” or “You will always be alone.”

They may suggest that you “can’t” leave them, or convince you that no one wants you but them.

The narcissist declares his opinion as if these are indisputable facts, and over time you may fall prey to his beliefs as well.

You may be afraid to leave because of the anger and anger you have experienced.
You may be threatened with physical violence. A narcissist’s unpredictable behavior can make you afraid to communicate with them, which is essential for a healthy relationship.

If you try to talk to them, you may feel like you’re walking on eggshells and have to think and plan what you’re going to say to (hopefully) avoid a fight.

Narcissists are good at gaslighting.

The narcissist convinces you and others that everything is your problem, and if only you would be “kinder,” “kinder,” “listen,” or “change,” your relationship would be great.

You will be blamed and pressured to accept responsibility for all the fights and disagreements in your relationship.