Do you tend to be attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable or uncomplicated? You are not alone, many of us love difficult partners, But the question remains.. why?
There is one saying that says there is no nation without bloodshed and no love without tears. Some analyzes are used to insist on the fact that healthy relationships must be harmonious and creative. However, romantic relationships are always the opposite. It seems counterproductive and full of struggles and disputes. They oscillate between hate and love.
This can be extensive, but it is still typical. Certainly, if you have to deal with a systematically abusive or overtly aggressive partner, you should immediately consult a psychologist to free yourself from a toxic and harmful relationship. However, along general lines, a tension-free love affair is generally considered boring and unchallenging.
Why is it? The usual explanation is that we are fascinated by the challenge of conquering another person. Any difficulty increases the fascination with the love game.
However, a complex relationship with what seems to be full of insurmountable obstacles could be something more than that. Interestingly, strong people tend to attract difficult and turbulent relationships.
Why do we like difficult partners?
There may be a spiritual background to our tendency toward tough love affairs. Explanations include the following.
- Difficult partners reflect our personality
Opposites attract each other, but often, beyond a superficial argument, there may be an underlying similarity. This can be a positive factor for sexual intercourse. However, in some cases, it can be annoying, because it puts us in front of our weaknesses and shortcomings.
Two selfish or unreliable partners will have a hard time loving each other. Once realized, one must view the relationship as an opportunity to face its dark sides and move beyond. See a difficult partner you truly love as a gift to the universe and work together to overcome your imperfections.
Read : Caught In The Narcissist’s Trap: Rollercoaster Ride Of A Push-Pull Relationship
- Karmic lesson
Some karmic relationships cause us wounds that we want to preserve and go through. What looks like “masochistic capriccio” is sometimes a karma-cleansing pot.
Two people may meet because their love is embodied and their souls meet again to solve their problems. Or, there is a psychological bond that brings together two people in a romantic relationship, and their meeting is a lesson for both that will eventually lead to self-improvement and the formation of a deeper relationship. This may not be obvious at first, but gradually the tension will cause both ends to develop.
Read : 16 Painful Things I Learned Trying To Love Someone Who Was Toxic For Me
- Antithesis and Synthesis
The German philosopher Hegel referred to a creative “dialectic”, which is a meeting of arguments. In the first stage, the two theories or ideologies (or nations and classes) clash against each other, in peace or war. But through this struggle, this contradiction, something new will emerge that will combine elements of both previous directions.
This will be a combination. This can also happen with a married couple. Two completely different characters will confront each other at the beginning. However, passionate love can be like a stage of war. As the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus wrote: “War is the father of everything.”
Love is next to the battlefield, right?
So, unless you are truly the subject of an unbalanced, miserable, or toxic relationship, feel free to choose a partner who will challenge your intellect and your emotional and spiritual world. And even if the relationship can’t last, you’ve learned a useful lesson for the future.
