You didn’t think they’d get any scarier, did you? You thought the narcissist’s sheer weirdness and weirdness started and ended the entire time you were awake—but you were wrong.
I’m here to tell you…
They stare at you while you sleep!
I know. Don’t run away from reality just yet, at least not until I explain what’s going on here in detail.
It’ll blow your mind, but it might be the reason you can’t fully relax lying next to them at night.
You Are Brave!
I want to finish the jokes before I get serious!
But yes, you are being very brave sleeping next to a narcissist. I try not to get too close to them, and yet, somehow, I’m fascinated by their character traits.
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They fascinate me because I see the destruction they cause to others, and those are the people I want to help.
Whether that’s a customer walking through my door, or you reading this.
There are people all over the world reading this, sipping their morning latte, having just woken up from a night sleeping with a narcissist.
I’m here for you, and that’s the point of telling you how brave you are. I say that half-jokingly, but there’s a big part of me that really means it.
Just Wanting Comfort: Impossible
Can you feel any peace in the company of a narcissist?
Sleeping up with them is bad enough. You’re working from home, or you have a day off.
Maybe you’re not feeling well, or you’re doing some hobbies in your free time. What about deciding to go for a walk, or go to the grocery store?
None of these are true. You’re too loud, too lazy, too quiet, too annoying, too messy, too long gone, or too late for the milk.
You just want to stare at the sky and let out a medium-to-loud scream.
At least when it’s time to get some rest, you can go upstairs and…
No.
What Happens When You Sleep?
For you, you’re falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.
What happens when you’re up there, in the world of marshmallows and fluffy clouds?
The narcissist shows up. They might sit for hours just staring at you.
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And I’m making it sound like a Hollywood movie where two people fall in love and don’t want to go to sleep for fear of missing something (referencing the classic Aerosmith song).
But no. Slow down on your guitar solo, it’s not like that.
We don’t need you right now, Steven Tyler!
This is something else entirely.
Staring is unlike anything I’ve ever known, and I’ll tell you exactly what it is.
The Stare
It’s intense—the way narcissists like to live.
They don’t sigh, smile, and watch your beautiful face disappear into peaceful sleep.
Instead, they use the moment to their advantage.
You don’t even know they’re there. You don’t realize how their eyes glow on you as you sink deeper and deeper.
It doesn’t sound like Aerosmith, does it?
It’s an opportunity for them to hit you completely without you even noticing, so they’ll make the most of it.
Planning
What worries me most at this stage is the dark reason behind the narcissist’s planning.
When they see you lying there, enjoying your much-needed sleep, it’s time for them to consider their next move.
What damage could they cause? What plans do they have to bring you down? What are they thinking when you innocently and unconsciously assume they’re asleep, too?
When narcissists plan, they plan down to the smallest detail. It’s truly devastating because it’s the only time they get to use your peace of mind against you.
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In the few hours of the night when you’re letting your guard down, at the mercy of nature, the narcissist takes advantage again.
I want You Wake Up Catch Them
One small part of the narcissist’s plan is their desire to see you wake up and catch them watching you.
Honestly, they want to romanticize their stare, making you think you’re too good to sleep next to.
Have you ever seen this in movies? Someone sleeping beautifully on your side of the bed, while someone else can’t believe their luck and just wants to look at them in amazement?
Yes.
It’s not.
But that’s exactly what the narcissist wants you to think.
It terrifies me that a narcissist thinks this way. They might make a sound to get you to look at them, then smile and say, “I couldn’t help it. You’re sleeping so peacefully, and you’re gorgeous.”
Bingo. They make you seem like the only person they want to spend the rest of their life with.
But don’t believe it.
Listening For Bad Dreams
Are you the type of person who has the occasional nightmare?
Guess who’ll figure it out before you even realize it—the narcissist.
They watch you while you sleep, listen to the faint moans of fear, and see you toss and turn in your bed.
They enjoy seeing the fear in you, even while you’re asleep. And you know, it doesn’t get much better when you wake up. The only difference is that you’re actually living the nightmare –
The nightmare of living with a narcissist!
Deep Down I Wonder: When Will They Understand Me?
It’s always a source of anxiety for them.
When will you discover the truth?
When will that moment light up your life?
When will you start pulling away?
When will you finally start putting yourself first?
The questions that follow are even more disturbing.
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How do I make them not want to leave?
What else can I do to erase that identity?
Who do I make them fight with next?
Where do I start to instill more doubt in their minds that they are strong and capable people?
They don’t want you to understand them, but watching you will give them all the answers they need.
Remember – they love your silence!
