Is the Narcissist Ignoring You? If you’ve been frustrated by their immature behavior, you’re not alone. Narcissists are known for manipulating people, and ignoring them is just another strategy they use to elicit emotional reactions.

Their ignoring behaviors have little to do with you and almost everything to do with them.

Let’s find out what you need to know.

9 Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s not a matter of if they’ll ignore you. It’s a matter of when. And the more you’re attached to them, the more they’ll waver between getting closer and pulling away.

However, being ignored hurts, and it can be confusing, especially if you don’t understand why they do what they do.

Here are the top reasons why narcissists ignore people:

1 They want you to chase them

Narcissists often get a kick out of playing games, especially when it comes to romantic partners. They love the thrill of knowing that someone wants them, and they enjoy chasing them.

So, if they suddenly ignore you (especially if it’s during the love bombing phase), it could be a sign that they’re starting to feel too attached. They want to turn things around and have you chase them.

Unfortunately, by this point, you’re already on the hook. Narcissists are adept at charming others, and once they’ve charmed you, it’s hard to see reality for what it is.

2 They Want to Start a Fight

While it may seem strange, narcissists don’t necessarily hate conflict in the same way that most people do. In fact, many of them thrive on it—they find it interesting and even fun at times.

The truth is, narcissists are adept at making sure they create win-win situations for themselves.

They know how to oscillate between different manipulation tactics to ensure they get the last word (and say) in most arguments. And they tend to strategically choose people who will share their toxic behaviors.

So, if you do something that upsets them (even if it was a long time ago), they may start ignoring you as a way to “lure” you into their explosive behavior.

3 They Want You to Feel Regretful

It’s no secret that narcissists will often exaggerate even the smallest mistake until it turns into a huge crisis. So even if you do something small wrong, they tend to act like it’s the biggest problem in the world.

Their silent treatment is a way to punish you. They want you to feel incredibly guilty for what you did to them. They want you to come back to them groveling and begging for forgiveness.

Of course, this is a one-way street. As you probably know, narcissists rarely hold themselves accountable for their actions.

They don’t feel remorse the same way other people do. When they apologize, it’s a fake apology, and they only say it because they want you to forgive them and move on quickly.

Despite what they may tell you, most narcissists aren’t necessarily interested in changing their ways for the better.

4 They Focus on Someone Else

A narcissist may ignore you if they’re looking for a new narcissistic source.

A narcissistic source refers to anyone or anything that temporarily flatters the narcissist’s ego and reinforces their delusions of superiority or grandeur.

In many ways, narcissists are addicted to approval, attention, and admiration. They rely on it to feel validated. It becomes as essential as food or water. Because they have no core concept of self-worth, they need to borrow it from others.

The problem with narcissistic supply is that it is never enough. When it comes to using people as a source of supply, they may think they have found the perfect person to fulfill their every fantasy.

But once that person’s true humanity begins to emerge, the anger sets in. They start diverting their efforts elsewhere to see what else might be out there.

5 They Want to Pretend They Don’t Care About You

Some narcissists ignore people because they want to act more distant or aloof than they really are. It’s all about maintaining an image. A narcissist doesn’t want to come across as caring or clingy.

Related : Do Narcissists Like Spending Time Alone?

So, they ignore you to act like they are more important than they really are. They don’t want you to know how much they care about you. This makes you feel even more anxious in the relationship, and that’s exactly how they want the dynamic to be.

If you confront them about this behavior, they won’t readily admit it. Instead, they may just brush you off and act like everything is perfectly normal.

This might sound like:

What do you mean? I’ve been a little quiet, but I already told you I’ve been really busy at work. I need you to stop making this about you!

6 They Want to Make You Jealous

Narcissists may ignore you by pretending to be super busy when they’re really not.

This makes it seem like they live a more glamorous or important life than they actually do. And they want you to be jealous of all the wonderful things they “claim” to be living.

In the same way, they are often cautious or mysterious about who they spend their time with. It’s all about trying to make you feel overwhelmed and trying to “make” you act like you need them.

This type of neglect is often a direct response to their jealousy. If they feel threatened by something or someone in your life, they will act before you have any potential chance to hurt them.

7 They Devalue You

Narcissistic relationships tend to fall into predictable patterns. It starts with the idealization or love bombing phase, where they shower you with attention and admiration.

This is the most euphoric part of the relationship, and both parties tend to feel like the relationship is capable and will meet their every need.

But at some point, the perfection wears off. You can’t do everything right all the time, and as you make mistakes, the narcissist begins to take it personally. You are now a flawed person and this makes the narcissist feel frustrated, threatened, or even completely bored.

At this point, devaluation begins. Devaluation can consist of many abusive behaviors, such as verbal abuse, humiliation, threats, shaming, and ignoring. The narcissist does all of this while the other person wonders what they did wrong.

Devaluation leads to disposal, which happens once the narcissist stops gaining value from their narcissistic supply.

They choose to replace them with a new partner. The disposal is almost always temporary, as narcissists love to stalk people to keep an eye on them.

8 They Just Want Attention

Sometimes a narcissist is not ignoring you for any specific reason other than wanting attention. If you alert them to this, they will usually respond with, “Sorry, I was just busy!”

Or they may continue to ignore your texts and calls — just to like something you share on social media.

None of this makes sense, and it’s frustrating. But that’s how they spin things to keep you on your toes. They’re simply interested in playing mind games and seeing what happens as a result.

Keep in mind that if they’ve gotten away with ignoring people in the past, they’ve learned that this nasty tactic works. And the more you enable the behavior, the more inclined they are to continue doing it.

9 They’re Just Pretending to Ignore You

The silent treatment seems like a pretty obvious type of ignoring. But just because a narcissist won’t talk to you, that doesn’t mean they’re not watching you.

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, they like to know what you’re up to at all times. So even if they refuse to talk, that doesn’t mean they’re not snooping on your social media, asking friends what you’re up to, or tracking your whereabouts.

What to Do When a Narcissist Ignores You

Even if you feel comfortable, try to maintain your boundaries and remind yourself that they will eventually get so frustrated that they will explode in some other way.

So, don’t pay any attention to their silly behavior at all. Don’t try to find logic in the situation. Don’t try to get revenge. Don’t even try to get them to apologize to you.

To give a better picture of what to do, it may help to imagine a young child in the middle of a full-blown nervous breakdown.

They’re upset because something didn’t go their way, and now they’re kicking and screaming and have lost all sense of control. What should you do? Intervene? Try to make things better? Try to argue or yell at them?

Most of the time, no! These responses will not work and will only make the chaos worse. The toddler will likely become more defiant and angry. Like the toddler, most narcissists are unable to integrate logic and reason.

Remember, negative attention is still attention, so if the narcissist feels that his actions are upsetting to you, he will continue to engage in his abusive tactics. Doing nothing at all and not showing any emotion is the best response.

CanProfessionalsHelpYouDealWithNarcissisticIgnorance?

If you continue to find yourself in toxic narcissistic patterns, it may be helpful to seek professional support. Unfortunately, if you have experienced narcissistic abuse in the past, you are more likely to experience it again.

Therapy can help you deal with narcissistic abuse in several ways, including:

Build Your Self-Esteem

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you likely have a diminished sense of self. You may not have had high self-esteem even before you met them, but any confidence you had may have eroded long ago.

Related : Is Unintentional Gaslighting a Thing? How Do You Stop It?

Treatment can help you build a better relationship with yourself. When you value yourself and your own needs, you’re less likely to tolerate abusive dynamics.

Support You Unconditionally (Without Prejudice)

There’s nothing inherently wrong with confiding in friends and family members. But you’ll want to be especially careful about reciprocal relationships.

If your narcissistic partner is very attached to the people in your life, there’s a good chance they’ve tricked other people into believing they’re very different from who they really are.

On the other hand, your therapist doesn’t know who your partner is. They haven’t been tricked or deceived—they only have the information you give them, and they can remain more neutral when they talk to you.

PracticeHealthyCopingSkills

Abusive relationships can be very stressful, and therapy provides a safe environment to learn new ways to deal with these difficult feelings. Remember, self-care is never selfish, even though narcissists may try to convince you that it is.

Helping You Stand Up for Yourself

Don’t be surprised if a narcissist panics if you tell them you’re going to therapy. This is because narcissists feel threatened by the idea of ​​you changing and building your emotional resilience.

They don’t want you to truly understand the extent of their abuse. They don’t want you to see the reality for what it is.

But a good therapist can help you stand up for yourself and honor your values. This is important if you decide you want to set healthy boundaries or leave the relationship altogether.

BeforeYouGo

It’s frustrating and confusing to be ignored. But when a narcissist ignores you, the feelings tend to be even more intense.

Remember that their actions have nothing to do with you. It’s all about how they want to maintain the status quo and get their own needs met.

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