Why Do Narcissists Have Ears When They Never Listen?

The human body is a complex system, with every part of it created for a reason (except for wisdom teeth – what’s with those teeth?)

Ears are designed to hear. Music. Words. Sounds. Warnings. Good news. Bad news. Laughter.

We take it for granted, but we use our ears for the purpose they were created for, anyway.

Narcissists have ears too. But what they do with them is still unknown (mostly…)

What’s The Purpose?

You might think so, right? What’s the point of having ears if you’re not going to use them to listen?

I really appreciate people who use their ears properly. It means they’re willing to learn. They’re willing to communicate. They’re willing to be the voice of reason. They’re willing to want to understand.

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That’s how we communicate, but narcissists are never willing to communicate.

If they listen, it makes the person speaking feel special in some way, and I think refusing to do so only further devalues ​​the victim’s self-worth.

It starts to make some sense, doesn’t it?

Narcissist

They will be who they are—and sadly, no matter how hard you try—you’ll never be able to change a narcissist.

They won’t go from toxic to perfect, whether you beg them or not.

So, those ears. What are they for if not to listen? Why bother having a pair of ears at all?

Here’s why…

1 They hear… but they don’t listen

If we want to get down to the technicalities, yes, narcissists can hear. They have ears, and they’re alert to the sounds going on around them.

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When you talk to them, and you say something that feels important to you, you want to feel like they’re listening.

Maybe they can offer a word of advice or support just to know that their concern for you is what matters.

After all, that’s what you do, right? You won’t hesitate to listen if needed. Empathy is your middle name, and you value meaningful relationships.

But not narcissists.

They hear you, but they will never give you the answers you want. If you’re looking for reassurance, they’ll laugh at you instead.

If you’re looking for understanding, you’ll get a disinterested nod and a blank face.

Or if you’re having a really bad day—a scoff and a whimper.

Sad, don’t you think?

2 Picking Everything Up

Imagine you’re having a conversation with your best friend. You’re talking about the weather, how hot or cold it’s been lately.

You’re talking about how great it is that you finally have a little time to catch up on housework. This house needed painting, this house needed fixing up, and you took care of that.

Blah, blah, right?

Out of nowhere, your friend tells you she’s not happy in her relationship.

She says she thinks her partner is cheating on her, and you start listing potential clues.

The narcissist is in the room, and he hasn’t been interested in your conversation yet…

…until now.

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Their ears perk up, and they turn slightly toward you to see what information they can gather from you.

Like magnets, they attract certain words.

Insecurity.

Cheating.

Hotel.

Receipts.

Ignorance.

Argument.

Breakup.

It’s even more interesting to narcissists.

This is a sign that they’re listening. They pick out the juicy parts of any conversation that they can use later, and they won’t forget a single part of it.

3 “Raise my voice—not yours!”

Narcissists don’t really listen to what you have to say because they’re too busy talking.

They all love their own voice, and often, they won’t let their victims talk.

It’s not normal for such an unbalanced conversation to happen regularly, so if you’re always the one listening, and they’re making all the noise—ask yourself if you’re dealing with a narcissist.

Usually, if your gut is telling you something, it’s usually because it’s right.

I think the reason narcissists talk more than they listen is because they think they always have something interesting to say.

They like to seem important and powerful, even if they don’t.

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I also think narcissists talk a lot as a way to distract themselves. What happens while they’re talking? It’s kind of like trusting someone to be the banker while you’re playing Monopoly.

They say, “Oh, look over there!” and while you’re doing that, they steal money from the bank without you looking.

If you notice this, you might want to check your environment for anything else out of the ordinary.

4 “I’m always right”

Silencing you is how narcissists will always get what they want. The louder you talk, the more they have to fight with you to be heard.

Their voice is dominant. What they say goes. What they want they get. What they talk about they want the world to hear.

Who needs ears when you have that kind of attitude?

This is exactly why a narcissist won’t use his ears to listen to you. Even when you try to interrupt him:

Well, yeah…

But…

Well…

You see…

I think…

Not…

I want…

Can you…

I feel…

Wait a minute-…

You know from any experience with a narcissist that these statements are useless.

You can take a breath, and they will override that breath with a statement that they consider true and correct.

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So anything you have to say will only waste their time more.

5 They Listen… Sometimes

But do you know what they do when they listen?

They say the opposite.

Let me give you an example.

You’re tired, and you’ve made dinner plans with the narcissist that evening. You want to, but you’ve had such a long and emotional day at work that you’d love nothing more than to relax at home and go to bed early.

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So you pass this on to the narcissist.

Oh, so I’m not well enough to hang out with you?

You don’t want to spend time with me?

That’s why I never bother making plans!

So you’re saying that you’d rather be a little tired than enjoy an evening with me?

How many times have you said something like, “No, that’s not what I said…”

Yes. I’d bet dozens.

That’s because they’re listening, and they’re twisting your words to fit their own narrative.

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