Narcissists hate everything—just to be clear. Beneath their lies, there’s nothing they find real fun in.

That’s why your hobbies are a big deal to them.

It goes much deeper than that, and that’s why I couldn’t miss the opportunity to delve into it with you today.

Hobbies are for fun, and there’s nothing fun about narcissists.

Get ready to hear why they hate your hobbies, and what that means to you.

Let’s get to the basics first…

When you hear the word narcissist, what comes to mind?

Maybe it’s someone you know, or someone you fell in love with and they broke your heart.

Maybe you’re still with this person, and are trying to find ways to escape the relationship.

Is it a family member from your past or present? Are you still in contact with them?

When you think about their personality traits, do you think about how they constantly make you feel down?

Do they comment on your weight, or punish you for having goals?

Do they make fun of you or punish you for your hobbies?

*Related : 10 Things Narcissists Do On Social Media That Expose Them

Hobbies make you feel…

Happy! Satisfied! Relaxed! Excited!

Well, at least they should make you feel that way.

Hobbies are designed to give you a little boost in life. It’s a great hobby.

You make, bake, sew, read, run, walk, swim, draw – whatever – it’s yours and it makes you feel positive.

Positive.

It’s a good word, isn’t it? There are a lot of positive connotations to the word – it has a cheerful meaning!

Some people can drag you down from being cheerful, and usually these people don’t know who to truly be happy with.

Or as I like to call them: narcissists.

EnjoyEnjoy

It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? Enjoyment is the essence of life, and I wouldn’t argue with anyone about that.

Yes, we work, we pay the bills, but we live to find precious moments that we can turn into memories either by ourselves or with the people we love.

It’s a joyful time, and one that narcissists simply won’t understand. How could they?

Meet,Mingle,Create,Explore

I laugh when I think of a narcissist trying something new that they can turn into a hobby.

There’s nothing more vulnerable than taking a risk or trying something for the first time.

Will you fail?

Absolutely.

Does someone correct you while you’re trying to do it?

Absolutely.

Does a narcissist hate both?

Absolutely!

Narcissists aren’t keen on showing themselves to others; they’d rather be hated for going through life than for you to do it yourself.

The next time you feel like a bad person for daring to do something that pleases you, think about why narcissists do it.

Narcissists and Hobbies

When you explain to them what hobbies are, you will understand exactly why narcissists can’t stand them.

I mean, they are very far from anything they would naturally gravitate towards.

That’s not to say they don’t have hobbies, but their hobbies are carefully chosen to fit in well with the image they want to project to the world.

Fast cars.

Expensive wine.

Expensive vacations.

Going to the gym hard and posting every single result for approval and compliments.

Shopping for the best and most exclusive items.

Related : 11 Things Narcissists Do When They’re Home Alone

They will convince themselves they have hobbies, when in reality all they do is find ways to continue to impress people.

They will try to destroy your hobbies

Insecurity is at the forefront of every narcissist’s campaign to bring misery into your life.

Destroying your hobbies means you no longer pursue what makes you happy. You stop caring or sharing ideas.

Any creativity you have – it dissipates.

Any joy you get from spending time positively is replaced by them.

Can’t I be your hobby?

Can’t we find something to do together?

As for the second question, sharing a hobby with your spouse is always fun. If you both enjoy swimming, maybe do it once a week.

But to expect you to replace your hobbies with everything that involves compromises – well – it doesn’t seem fair.

Your life should be made up of all the little things that make you who you are. You don’t need to pretend or ignore your passions just because the narcissist in your life tells you they hate them.

What they really mean is that they hate seeing you happy.

They hate seeing you thriving.

They hate that you can relax, turn yourself off, and find something other than them that’s interesting or fun.

TimeShortensYourPassion….andJoy

If all narcissists had their way, your change would be immediate.

They know it’s not possible, so cutting everything out of you takes time…

…starting with your hobbies.

Related : 13 Weird Things Narcs Do When They’re Jealous

As days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and if it’s really unfortunate, months into years, narcissists will take everything away from you.

It will be so slow that you won’t even realize it. Most people I’ve worked with say they wake up one day, look in the mirror, and don’t know where they’ve disappeared to. They say things like:

I didn’t know who was staring at me.

I look so tired.

My eyes won’t open properly.

I’ve lost my spark.

Naturally – these things happen when you’ve been under the control of a narcissist long enough.

Hobbies are one way they take the color out of your life, turning it a little black and white.

You lose the inspiration to do anything, and before long, you’re labeled boring and dead.

They accuse you of not liking anything, but anything you happen to like, gets criticized or condemned.

So, you find yourself at a crossroads, I can’t win and nothing is good enough.

Which way will you go?

FindTheThirdOption

I often say that it’s not visible enough to those who are looking for it, but if you step back, you’ll see it.

The third option at this crossroads is my new beginning.

It’s not obvious, because it’s never sold to you.

But it’s there. It contains a future where you can be yourself, rediscover old hobbies, and even find new ones.

If you have any doubts about your life, this step back will be crucial to your recovery.

Hobbies are supposed to be fun, so if you’re not enjoying them, you’re going backwards.