Narcissists are often known for their manipulative behavior and disregard for others’ feelings, but one of the most damaging traits in relationships is their tendency to cheat. Their unfaithfulness is not just a matter of physical infidelity but also emotional betrayal, leaving their partners devastated and confused. So, why do narcissists cheat so much? Several key factors explain this behavior:
1. Need for Constant Validation
At the core of narcissistic behavior is an insatiable need for validation and admiration. Narcissists rely on external praise to maintain their inflated self-image, and they often view relationships as a source of this admiration. However, as time goes on, the validation from one partner is not enough to satisfy their ego. They constantly seek out new people to boost their sense of superiority.
Cheating allows narcissists to feel desired and admired by multiple partners at once, giving them the emotional “supply” they crave. It’s not about love or connection; it’s about feeding their need for external validation.
2. Lack of Empathy
One of the defining traits of narcissism is a profound lack of empathy. Narcissists are unable or unwilling to understand or care about how their actions affect others. This lack of empathy makes it easy for them to justify cheating, as they are not concerned with the emotional pain it causes their partner.
Instead, they rationalize their actions by focusing on their own needs and desires, completely ignoring the emotional toll it takes on their relationships.
3. Sense of Entitlement
Narcissists often feel an exaggerated sense of entitlement. They believe they deserve special treatment and should be able to do whatever they want without facing consequences. This sense of entitlement extends to their relationships, where they feel they have the right to cheat because their needs are more important than their partner’s.
If they believe they are not getting enough attention or admiration from their partner, they may justify cheating as something they “deserve” to satisfy their needs.
4. Thrill of the Chase
Narcissists are often drawn to the excitement of new relationships. The initial thrill of seducing someone, the rush of being desired, and the validation that comes from conquest appeal to their egos. Once the novelty wears off and the relationship becomes more stable, they may become bored.
Cheating provides them with a new “chase” to keep them engaged and entertained. For narcissists, the excitement of the hunt and the thrill of gaining someone’s attention are often more important than maintaining a stable, long-term relationship.
5. Fear of Intimacy
Despite their outward confidence, narcissists often have a deep fear of true emotional intimacy. In healthy relationships, emotional intimacy requires vulnerability and trust. For narcissists, this level of closeness can feel threatening, as it requires them to confront their own emotional insecurities.
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By cheating, narcissists can keep emotional intimacy at bay. They create distance between themselves and their partner, avoiding the vulnerability that comes with real emotional connection. Instead of deepening the relationship, they look for other partners who won’t expect the same level of intimacy.
6. Desire for Power and Control
Narcissists are obsessed with maintaining control over their relationships. Cheating gives them a sense of power, as they are able to deceive and manipulate their partners without being caught. The act of cheating reinforces their belief that they are smarter and more in control than their partner, which boosts their ego.
They enjoy the secret knowledge that they’re getting away with something, further feeding their sense of superiority.
7. Inability to Be Satisfied
Narcissists are rarely satisfied, no matter how much love, attention, or admiration they receive. Their constant need for more drives them to seek new relationships or affairs. This endless desire for validation means that they are never fully content with one person and are always on the lookout for more admiration.
They cheat not because of a lack in the relationship, but because no relationship can ever truly satisfy their deep-seated insecurities and constant hunger for validation.
8. Deflection of Responsibility
When narcissists cheat, they often shift the blame onto their partner. Instead of taking responsibility for their infidelity, they may accuse their partner of being inadequate, neglectful, or the reason why they “had to” cheat. This deflection allows them to avoid accountability for their actions.
By placing the blame on their partner, narcissists avoid confronting their own flaws and weaknesses, maintaining their inflated sense of self.
Conclusion
Narcissists cheat so much because their need for validation, lack of empathy, and sense of entitlement drive them to seek admiration from multiple partners. Cheating provides them with excitement, power, and a way to avoid emotional intimacy, all while maintaining control over their relationships. Understanding these underlying motivations can help those affected by narcissistic behavior recognize the patterns and protect themselves from further emotional harm.
