“As long as you love me, this only works when the narcissist gets what they want from you. You have to comply, otherwise the dynamics break down.
The moment – the moment you stop caring about the narcissist, it’s best to hide.
Not only does their reaction create the worst emotional tornado in the world – this one is an F5 – and it’s headed straight for you.
So what emotions are being triggered, and what exactly do they mean?
Well, Alex, I’m glad you asked…
NarcissistsNeedYou
The power it takes for a narcissist to deny their need for you is unparalleled! They will deny and refuse to acknowledge that your presence is what keeps them going but…
…all for the wrong reasons.
Narcissists destroy you in order to get something for themselves. They take your world and destroy it with their own hands without a second thought.
The love you feel from them is fragmented and temporary, but it’s enough to keep you interested.
You remain loyal and loving And optimistic.
And narcissists need that from you. If they don’t get it, the worthlessness that lurks in their empty souls will awaken.
So… what is it about your caring nature that they can’t live without?
YourCaringIsTheirSource
Every time you show concern, you provide a source for narcissists.
Supply to them is emotional nourishment. It’s what keeps them going, a sole design to maintain some form of self-esteem.
Related : The One Secret The Narcissist Knows About You
The need for supply is the main driving force behind many of their toxic behaviors.
This means that you stop caring about yourself every time you put your life or priorities aside to make room for theirs.
And the narcissist?
They love it! They love knowing that you will give up anything and everything for them, and that’s the part where they abuse you!
Can you imagine the horror you would feel if you walked away?!
WhenWillItStop?
The day you wake up and promise yourself that you will no longer care about the narcissist is the day your life will change dramatically.
This is when things get really serious.
You are choosing yourself once in your life. You are choosing to put your own needs first, and thus making huge improvements to your emotional and physical health.
What does it mean to apply all this energy and positivity to yourself?
It means that it cannot be diverted to narcissistic supply.
Instead of pleasing the narcissist, you are healing and enriching yourself.
WhatComesNext
I don’t promise you warmth, kindness, happiness, and joy from the narcissist at first. In fact, I bet you wouldn’t get an ounce.
If you think about it, why would you do that?!
You’ve hurt them so badly and you’ve stopped caring about them – what do you think would make them happy?
What comes next are all the ways a narcissist wants you to feel. They know that when you stop caring, doing these things will trigger these feelings in you:
Fear. They want you to be afraid of what they’re capable of. What they know about you. Making you afraid of leaving them because you’ve been programmed to believe that you can’t live without them.
Intimidation. Your lack of interest is a direct threat to them, and they know just how to respond a thousand times over! They won’t appreciate you backing down, and they’ll try to force you back to your old self.
Emptiness. You’re worthless. They don’t care about your lack of interest, because you never meant anything to them in the first place. They don’t want to get to know you, and you’ll often hear phrases like, “You’re dead to me now.”
- Anger
Narcissists are like volcanoes – full of anger that stays dormant until they feel like unleashing it on you.
It can surprise and shock you. Once you see it, you always expect it.
When you stop paying attention to them – it’s more than possible to witness their tantrums.
- Get Rid
They’re officially done with you. They’re not interested in trying to seduce you or impress you, not after what you’ve talked about and discovered.
You’re useless to them now that you’ve seen them for who they really are. They can’t manipulate you.
They can’t control what you do or who you see. You don’t need them. You don’t care anymore, so to them – you’re old news.
- Revenge
This is where the revenge is likely to escalate. Narcissists don’t like being ignored, and to punish you, they’ll come up with a plan to get back at you.
Think of revenge as:
Spreading lies about you
Turning people against you
Throwing your stuff away before you have a chance to get it back
Finding someone else and expressing their true love for them
- Vacuum
A narcissist never misses a chance to trick you again. If it worked in the past, they probably think it could work again.
Think about the usual ways they trick you. It could be:
Showing up at your work to express their love for you
Stalking you down on social media or in person
Constantly texting or calling you to try to talk to you
Promising to change and be the person you want them to be
This is all just a ploy to try to regain control and change the narrative that they are the bad guy.
OneLife
I don’t want to sound like the most cowardly person on the planet, but; the truth is, you only have one life.
If being with them is bad enough, withholding your care will ignite a whole new level in their evil streak.
As always, you are the one who suffers. You are the victim of everything you’ve talked about, and there is no escape from that.
When you give your all to someone who fails to appreciate, acknowledge, or love you in return, you are giving away your entire being.
Related : 10 Things Narcissists Would Say If They Were Honest
Over time, this giving away will extend to every part of your life.
You want to fix them. You give too much. You are trying too hard to take care of the narcissist.
Not only will you push your well-being aside, but you’ll also start to feel like you don’t deserve any well-being.
You simply stop caring.
It might start small.
Skipping lunch.
Staying up late losing yourself watching TV.
Saying you’re “fine” all the time, even when you’re not.
Ignoring warning signs, like pain or feeling unwell.
And then it gets bigger.
Giving up your job or hobbies because they said so.
Stopping out on friends or family who the narcissist thinks you’re “better than.”
Apologizing all the time just because their mood dictates your reaction.
This doesn’t have to be your life.
