You don’t need me to tell you how dangerous narcissists can appear.
It’s one thing for them to cause so much drama and destruction, but it’s quite another to actually do it intentionally.
I’m personally stunned when I hear what my clients’ partners, parents, or friends say or do. I’ll never understand why their sole purpose in putting out the world is to cause harm…
…but…
…there’s one thing that makes narcissists truly dangerous, and I feel it’s something we need to talk about.
Sleeping Lions…When Everything Is Fine
When narcissists are in a good mood, it can be just as unsettling as when they give you the silent treatment. Maybe not at first. At first, you think their good mood is great. They’re great.
But eventually…
Eventually, those good moods are a waiting room for more abuse. You’re there, anticipating change. The moment the situation turns from hot to cold. The moment your mood and emotions are affected.
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Isn’t it like sneaking around a sleeping lion? You want to keep quiet and not do anything to draw their attention just because of your presence, lest it upset them.
Yes, everything is fine, but that won’t last long.
Soon, the narcissist will flip—and there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to make their rhythm as dangerous as it can be.
What Changs? From Calm to Chaos
The shift from calm to chaos happens, and you know exactly why.
It happens when something happens, and that’s this:
When you hurt them.
That’s true. Narcissists are always causing trouble, but the cycle is usually predictable. You know their mood and how to calm them down or exacerbate the situation.
But when you hurt a narcissist—in any way—it will unleash the most dangerous version of them you’ve ever seen.
Related : How Long Does It Take to Recognize a Narcissist?
What Does Hurting Them Look Like?
- Ego
You’ve hurt them in some way. Maybe you’ve ridiculed them in front of someone, or criticized what they’ve said or done. Yes, they do this to you all the time. But when the tables turn—be prepared.
- Reputation
If a narcissist’s reputation is damaged in any way, you’ve destroyed something they’ve taken years to build in seconds. They’ll unleash their rage, and they’ll never forgive you.
- Take Their Power Away
What will taking their power away leave them?
Nothing. Narcissists only thrive when they have what they want—total control at all times.
If you disarm them, either with a sarcastic comment or by disobeying their last request, watch out for trouble.
- Threaten Them
Oh my! Threats aren’t what narcissists want. They want to be the ones making the threats, and they don’t want you to hurt them.
If you’re the one making the threats, you’re the one who feels like what you’re saying has some power over them. They won’t be emotionally abused—that’s their job!
- Overcome Their Abuse
Standing up and saying, “You know what? That’s not true, and you don’t have to put up with it another second” is a narcissist’s worst nightmare.
Related : Why Are Narcissists Emotionally Cold?
For years, they’ve controlled you in every way. They’ve gotten what they wanted from you and put you in extremely vulnerable situations.
When you stand up and say, “Enough,” you’re taking away what keeps them alive.
They Know You Know
Everything changes.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you been in that situation?
When you hurt a narcissist by your general understanding of narcissism and suggesting they have “issues,” nothing will ever be the same again.
Don’t expect this cycle of abuse to ever be the same again. What’s the point of a narcissist? They already know you know them. They know you know their tricks, how they play.
They can’t take you back or take advantage of you. You can’t be fooled anymore because you’ve exposed something big.
You’ve exposed every lie they’ve ever told, and there’s no way to fix it. That.
Exposing Them
Your choice to expose the narcissist. Your choice to stand up and tell the world what you know, what’s actually true.
Related : These 8 Things Make Covert Narcissists So Dangerous
Does this have serious consequences?
Yes, it does.
- Tell the Truth
Telling the truth may come after months, even years, of silence, or being deceived into believing a false narrative.
Is there a risk in speaking up and admitting what you know and have experienced?
The risk is always there. You risk the narcissist denying everything you say, or casting it as the villain.
Your truth has been denied this whole time. Do you really think it’s going to be easy just because you finally stand up for it?
As the narcissist weakens you over time, they weaken your ability to stand up for yourself.
This is where many victims fall.
- Dealing with Their Anger
Their anger isn’t new, is it?
I mean, I want you to know this:
A narcissist will get angry at you because they can’t be angry at themselves.
I’m sure you’re aware of all the reasons narcissists get angry at themselves, especially their poor treatment of everyone around them.
You put up with it.
Yelling.
Blaming.
Throwing things across the room.
Threats or physical violence.
Breaking.
All of this comes regardless, but when you expose them, more will come.
Related : Is The Narcissist You Know a Psychopath?
Be prepared for the most hostile and toxic rage to come your way.
- They Will Punish!
Punishments are a given when you’re dealing with an exposed narcissist.
Exposing them means their reputation is literally wiped out without warning. What else is there for them to do?
They want to turn everyone against you.
They’re dying to make you suffer.
They want to isolate you.
They want to make your life hell.
And you know what? With narcissists, there’s no limit to what they’ll go through.
Undermine Them
That’s how they’ll see it anyway.
You undermined me! How dare you!
Actually, you stood up for yourself, and that’s what you should do.
Related : 10 Twisted Ways Narcissists Show They Love You
No matter how you hurt a narcissist, be prepared for their most serious reaction.
They won’t tolerate any abuse, and if you try, they’ll do much worse.
That’s why many victims don’t even bother. They don’t want the drama or more pain.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t acknowledge your truth and have the right to live it.
