Have you had the unfortunate experience of having to take care of a sick narcissist? My condolences because I know how taxing it can be!
So, let’s talk about the issues around when narcissists get sick and how they behave. There are quite a few dynamics that can come into play, depending on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with, but it all boils down to the same thing – narcissistic presentation.
Narcissists need to seek supplies like a vampire needs to suck blood. In fact, the narcissistic display is actually life force energy, which makes it the narcissistic energetic lifeline.
The narcissist will milk sickness or illness for all it is worth and then some!
The way a narcissist extracts life forc
Play Total Victim
In the narcissist’s false version of reality, they are the center of the universe where everything else should revolve around.
However, as we know, there are billions of people on the planet, not only. It is unrealistic to think that everything can revolve around one person.
In order for narcissists to ensure that things continue to revolve around them, they need to fabricate situations, which always keep them in the spotlight. They need to stay center stage so that they can continue to attract a steady stream of attention from those around them.
So, when narcissists get sick, how do they act? They will fully and completely play the victim to the fullest extent. They will use sickness or illness to arouse sympathy for others, and create a huge pity party for themselves.
“I just feel really bad and don’t sleep at night. It all makes me feel down during the day. But, don’t worry about me, I know you have your life to live…”
They will say all this with trembling lips, tears in their eyes and active expectation that you will be with them all day.
The passive-aggressive (usually covert) narcissist will indicate what they expect without actually saying the words. That way, if you agree to their whims and bring them up in the future, they can respond to you, “I never asked you to do that.”
However, if you turn away and do not give in to them, they will punish you for it in a harsh and unspoken manner.
It’s emotional blackmail, pure and simple.
When a narcissist plays the victim, they will especially prey on those around them who embody a heightened sense of compassion. They will then continue to use these people’s empathy against them so that they can harvest their life force energy through the attention they receive.
The work is absolutely superior
Narcissists suffer from a superiority complex at the best of times. When considering how a narcissist acts when they are sick, their complete self-entitlement and belief that they are more important than anyone else will shine through.
They may suddenly become experts on the subject of their illness and go to school with everyone else in it, because they “know best.”
They will use this illness to sit above all others, because they are now in the elite club of “survivors”, or they will think they are so superior because they have been through such an ordeal.
The narcissist will literally stick to the label of the disease and use it as a piece of their (false) identity to peg themselves above the rest of us as human beings.
They will intentionally guilt anyone who doesn’t jump fast enough when the bell rings. They will cruelly shame those who do not pay enough attention to them or try to go and take care of their own needs. Taking care of yourself does the narcissist no good, so they can care less about what you need or want during their sick days.
God forbid if you insinuate in any way that they are getting better or that they are not as sick as what they are wearing. They will take it as a personal attack. Even if that was never your intention, the only thing that matters is how they perceive the comment in their mind.
Then they will probably continue to punish you for making such a statement.
“How dare you say I’m not that sick! The doctor said I needed bed rest for at least 7 days. But of course, you think you know better than the doctor.”
Excuse evasion of accountability
Let’s be honest, it must be hard to pretend to be a charming, caring, or easy-going individual all the time when that’s not at all who they really are.
As the narcissist gets older, his appearance fades and his resources (used to attract attention) begin to dwindle. Therefore, their ability to carry their false mask becomes more difficult as well.
The same can be said for looking when narcissists are sick. They will use their own discomfort or symptoms as an excuse for their abusive and disrespectful behavior towards others.
They will attack their caregiver for no reason and then if they are stopped for their behavior they will say, “It’s just because I’m in pain, don’t take it personally.”
The narcissist may also take the blame for his behavior onto you, even though all you’re trying to do is help him. They may accuse you of not caring enough or they will push and push you, and then when you snap, they will accuse you of being rude to them.
In the world of narcissists, they cannot take responsibility for any of their own shortcomings or negative behaviors, because that would mean admitting that they are not actually as perfect as they think they are.
When a narcissist gets sick, he will use this situation as an excuse for many of his narcissistic traits, rather than being responsible for his words and actions.
