Every relationship should be 50/50. Giving too much in a relationship can throw it off balance. How do you know if you are giving too much and not receiving it? Read on to find out.
Giving is a good moral thing. We give to others in need, we give to make ourselves happy and we give because we have so much to share in our abundance.
In relationships, we give more than that, to the point where we make regular sacrifices to keep our partner happy. But is it possible to give too much? Could this happen?
A generous heart is different from others. I was like this when I was younger, I thought everyone cared about my well-being. If I loved someone, I tried to show it in deeds as well as gifts because they were willing to give as much for me. Boy, was I wrong?
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Many times, after buying things for others, I have not received anything, not even a thank you. My heart was broken, but my forgiveness made me do it all over again.
I gave to people who couldn’t care less for years, decades before I realized that not everyone deserves my kindness.
When love becomes a sacrifice: signs that you are giving too much in a relationship and how to deal with it
Getting into a relationship early in my adulthood, I was excited. I thought it was simple, I will be generous and my friend will return my generosity too.
My love was deep. I’ve heard people call this kind of love “tough love.” I was sensitive and everywhere I went, I saw things I wanted to buy for my boyfriend, and so I did.
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The problem with this situation is that my expectations were not met. I thought that when I gave him a watch or a new shirt, they would be grateful, smile and thank me.
He thanked me which was fine, but carried on as if he had received nothing. Days later, he didn’t come back with any nice gifts for me, in fact, he wasn’t even wearing the watch.
It was the same when it came to non-material gifts, such as bargaining during disagreements. He always wanted to be in control of the situation, making my opinions seem ridiculous.
When I got into the relationship, I had expectations. I wanted the same consideration that I gave him while communicating, but he always seemed so one-sided.
Being so young, I assumed he would eventually change, mature, and so I tried to be patient.
We got married, and I continued this routine for years, even decades, with the notion that it was normal for men to handle my feelings. It was a twisted lie, but unfortunately, society tells a lot of it.
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I grew up with a generosity that was not reciprocated by me. There were many things that weren’t evenly linked. I kept trying, analyzing myself as to what might be causing the problems.
The more he turns inward to examine my mistakes, the more he realizes that I will never stand up for myself. To make a long story short, my excessive generosity made it easier for a toxic person to control me. It took way longer than I should have to get up.
The only way out – how to stop giving too much in a relationship?
What you allow is how you will classify yourself. If you give and give and don’t get inequality, you will be seen as easygoing. Your behavior will tell others that you can be taken advantage of. As far as your partner goes, they will take advantage of you in every way they can, if they are the non-judgmental type.
The longer you stay in such a situation and continue to give out openly, the more control your partner will have over you. When you get the nerve to leave the relationship, it will be hard.
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When you make plans to change your life and value it, your boyfriend/girlfriend will see that they are missing out on something of value to them.
Although they did not return the favor, they enjoyed the constant pampering and attention. Since she awakened to the truth, they know “tough love” is about to end.
They will try every tactic to make your stay, not to be a better person, but to enjoy more undeserved kindness. The only way to end this thing is to remove it like a band-aid.
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It won’t be easy
Your ex will still try to win your back now with gifts and thoughtfulness — not to mention pampering themselves! The real power comes when you refuse to accept these tricks and move on.
There are rare exceptions where people change, but most of the time, a person’s personality is the same – a permanent part of their mindset. It is better to leave the past in the past and move on to those who will appreciate your giving spirit.
It all revolves around this
Giving is love. Giving to others out of the goodness of your heart is about making someone’s day, week, or month better than it was before. It looks like we will naturally give back and become a community of good people.
