We all know that breakups suck.
Sometimes, weeks, months, or years after a breakup, exes may suddenly realize that they miss each other.
You may wonder if you’re happy without them. Or maybe you’re struggling to move on. But when do exes start missing you?
Here are the big signs to look out for…
When Does an Ex Start Missing You?
There’s no magic answer to how long it takes for an ex to miss you.
The uncomfortable truth is that it depends. It could be days, weeks, or months.
Different variables unique to your situation will affect exactly how long it takes.
But here are 5 very important triggers for why your ex might miss you:
1) When She Feels You’re Missing Her
When you care about someone, and you’re having a great time with that person, you’ll miss them when they’re not around.
How long that takes will depend on how prominent you were in her life and for how long.
For example, if you talk every day, it will take less time for her to miss you because she is used to talking to you so much.
Similarly, if you have been dating for 12 months, she is likely to miss you a lot more than if you have only been dating for a few weeks.
This makes sense, the more people we have in our lives, the sooner we miss them.
She needs to feel your absence to miss you. Even if you have broken up and are no longer a couple, she is less likely to miss you if you are still chatting every day.
2) When she remembers you
Especially when we are dealing with the loss and grief of a breakup, it doesn’t necessarily take much to think about our ex.
Maybe she hears a song on the radio, thinks of a “close joke” you shared, or passes a place where you used to meet.
It can be the little things in her day that remind her of you.
But this brings up memories that are all too common after a breakup, and that lead to bouts of sadness when we miss someone.
3) When you realize the grass isn’t greener on the other side
Some people, after a breakup, try to throw themselves into single life.
They may tell themselves that being single will be great, that they’ll have all sorts of new freedoms, and that they’ll be able to meet exciting new people.
But the truth is, being single isn’t better or worse than being in a relationship. They’re just different.
Each has its unique blessings and struggles. Both require work and effort. And both can lead to joy and disappointment.
When a relationship doesn’t seem to be working out, there’s often a temptation to imagine that the grass might be greener on the other side.
You may think that being single will be more fun or easier. You may imagine that a different man will offer her things that you don’t.
Sometimes an ex starts to miss you once she realizes that life without you isn’t as great as she hoped.
4) When She Can’t Hide Her Feelings Any Longer
One of the most painful things after a breakup is watching your ex enjoy themselves.
I know how painful that is, I’ve been there. But then I noticed something.
The ex who was hanging out all the time suddenly became super busy, and on the outside seemed like he didn’t care at all about the breakup, and then they finally broke up.
I realized something very important:
Some people try to deal with the pain of a breakup by hiding from it.
They get lost in as many distractions as possible.
They go out to party, and they seek revenge. They do everything they can to avoid having to stand still and face the feelings that the breakup brings.
But you can’t hide for long. Eventually, you have to feel the feelings.
Your ex may start to miss you when she can’t keep running away from her feelings anymore.
5) When She Worries That You’ve Moved On
The more we believe that someone is available, the less we worry about losing them. It’s a basic psychology.
If your ex thinks she can get you back at any moment, she’s unlikely to miss you.
But as soon as you hint that you could have started moving on, panic sets in.
You might see that you’re working on improving yourself. You notice that you’re living your best life, instead of pining for her and waiting for her to come back. She sees you with a mysterious new girl.
Your ex will start to miss you if you’re actively moving on with your life.
This is because it triggers fear in her and she starts to worry, What if I can’t get her back?
What will make my ex miss me?
1) Time and space
Some things can’t be rushed. The time and space it takes for someone to miss you is something we can’t shorten.
We can’t miss someone who’s still around. We also won’t miss someone until enough time has passed to feel their absence in our lives.
You need to give your ex enough time to miss you. Distance also plays a role in missing someone.So, if you remain present in her life, she won’t miss you.
You should create a sense of distance. This is why it is often advised that couples who are breaking up should not communicate.
Time and space are important, regardless of whether your ultimate goal is to try to heal or you hope that she will come to her senses and realize what she has lost.
2) Not Staying Friends
It’s very tempting to keep your ex in your life.
You may feel like it’s softening the blow of the loss – that way you can still see them or talk to them. Who knows, maybe they’ll change their mind and you’ll end up in each other’s arms, right?
Unfortunately, staying in touch with your ex means they’re less likely to miss you. The obvious reason is that you can’t miss someone who isn’t gone.
Many couples try to avoid dealing with the pain of a breakup by staying friends.
But instead of being a real friendship, it’s just a way to avoid the loss. If you want your ex to miss you, don’t fall into this trap.
3) How to Respond to a Breakup
If you act graciously after a breakup, they’re more likely to miss you than if you show them your worst side.
Name-calling them, being mean to them, or acting immaturely won’t make them happy that you’re gone.
Likewise, begging her to come back and pleading with her to change her mind if she breaks up with you is also likely to make her pull away even more.
There’s no denying that breakups shake our emotions. It can be incredibly difficult to maintain our composure.
It’s not that you need to pretend you’re unaffected or don’t care, but staying respectful and calm will always serve you best.
4) Your Relationship History
It’s often harder to let go the longer you’ve been in a relationship. We’re creatures of habit, and you’ll miss someone who felt like a familiar part of your life for a while.
Whether the relationship was relatively happy most of the time will also affect whether (and when) your ex will miss you.
If things get bad, there may be an initial sense of relief at the end of the breakup.
If the relationship was very tense, or even toxic, your ex may miss you, of course, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants you back.
You can still miss someone and think the breakup was for the best.
But sometimes relationships go off the rails or the spark fades, but it can still be fixed.
In that case, there’s only one thing you can do — reignite her romantic interest in you.
I learned about this from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He’s called the “relationship geek,” for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you back.
No matter what your situation is — or how bad you’ve been since your breakup — he’ll give you several helpful tips that you can put into practice right away.
Here’s a link to a free video again. If you want to get your ex back, this video will help you do just that.
How to Tell if Your Ex Misses You?
1) She’s Stalking You Online
When I know the relationship is over, I unfollow her on all of her social media accounts.
It’s not heartless or petty, it’s the opposite. I want to move on with my life and I know that’s a lot harder if I still see every detail of what they do.
Where they go, who they hang out with, and what they eat for lunch. When you’re trying to get over your ex, constantly reminding them of you doesn’t help.
But if they want to know what’s going on in your life, it’s probably because they’re still interested.
Seeing all your stories is the closest thing they can get to you right now. So if they seem to be silently filling up your social media profile, you can assume they miss you.
2) She wants to talk and get “closure”
Closure is one of the biggest downsides in the history of relationships. I don’t think that exists.
We act like talking about the relationship after a breakup will make a huge difference. But in reality, it often doesn’t.
When you want out of a relationship, you don’t need to try to understand what happened. Especially since we often won’t understand.
If she still wants to talk about things, she may have other ideas.
Sometimes people say they’re looking for closure when in reality they’re not ready to let go of the relationship yet and are still open to reconciliation.
3) She’s trying to make you jealous
One of my friends is still “friends” with his ex.
Sometimes when they’re planning to hang out, she casually mentions that she can’t make it a certain day because she has a Tinder date.
You have to ask yourself, why is she bringing this up?
She could easily say she’s busy or suggest another day that suits her better. But no, she’s volunteering the information that she’s seeing another guy.
She’s trying to make him jealous. Either she wants a reaction from him or she’s checking to see if there will be one.
Anyway, if your ex is deliberately trying to make you jealous, she probably misses you.
4) She won’t stop partying
I mentioned earlier how it seemed like some of my exes were having a hard time when we broke up. Meanwhile, I was sitting at home alone thinking about it.
But everyone reacts differently to a breakup.
Don’t assume that your ex doesn’t miss you if she doesn’t stay home crying.
Distraction is a common defense mechanism for many people.
So the fact that she’s trying to keep herself busy could mean that she doesn’t want to stop and think about the breakup because she knows she’ll just miss you.
The problem is that we can’t get over feelings for long, they always catch up with us in the end.
5) She’s making big changes
Another tactic for coping with loss and dealing with grief is trying to start over. She might do this by making some changes to her life.
A classic cliché is a radical change after a breakup, where you update your wardrobe or get a new haircut.
It’s all an attempt to make yourself feel better.
You might make other changes like enrolling in a course, starting a new hobby, or taking a trip.
Trying to reinvent yourself after a breakup is very common and is often a reflection of how much they miss you.
6) She’s Hot and Cold
A breakup can feel like a rollercoaster ride.
You typically experience a wide range of emotions and can swing from sadness to anger, from resignation to regret in a matter of moments.
If she’s warm and connected one day but cold and distant the next, it suggests she’s struggling with this mix of feelings.
She may give you some signs that she misses you, then act like she doesn’t even care.
This is quite common and shows you that no matter what happens, she still has unresolved feelings for you.
7) What the Expert Would Say?
While this article explores everything you need to know about when your ex starts missing you, it can be helpful to talk to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…
Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people navigate complex and difficult love situations, like breaking up or getting back together.
They are a very common resource for people who are facing these types of challenges.
How do I know?
Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
I was blown away by how kind, compassionate, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get advice tailored to your situation.
Click here to get started.
8) She’s Getting Late Night Texts and Calls
For some reason, nights tend to be lonely. The daytime distractions fade away and she finds herself alone and thinking about you.
If she texts you at all, that’s a sign she misses you, but late-night texting is a more obvious sign.
It suggests that her willpower has gone and she can’t help herself. Whatever the excuse you give, a late-night text screams “I miss you.”
The same goes for drunk texts and calls. When her inhibitions are gone, she reaches out to you.
9) You bump into her
Sometimes it feels like you bump into her everywhere.
Maybe you see her walking down the street in your neighborhood or suddenly find herself in line at your favorite coffee shop.
Maybe she shows up at your friend’s party, even though she knows you’ll be there and she barely knows him.
Sure, maybe it’s a total coincidence. But maybe she’s trying to reconnect with you. Most of us avoid our exes unless we secretly want to “get back together.”
10) She starts reminiscing
Walking down memory lane usually means one thing:
Your ex misses you.
Reminiscing about the times you shared and the experiences you had together means she’s nostalgically reminiscing about your time as a couple.
This is often a clear sign that someone is reconsidering the breakup or isn’t ready to let go.
11) She’s finding excuses to contact you
Does your ex still check in on you? Maybe she’s sending you a random message asking how you’re doing.
Does she try to find excuses to contact you? Maybe it’s something as meaningless as asking if you remember the name of that movie you saw a few months ago.
Does she keep you updated on what’s going on in her life? For example, she tells you about a new job opportunity she has.
If she’s trying to find reasons to stay in touch, it’s because she misses you.
12) She’s trying to start an argument
Sometimes negative attention is better than no attention at all.
That’s why if your ex is trying to start an argument, it’s because she still cares.
She’s not ready to let go. She’s hurting from the breakup, and she’s using anger as a mask.
Finding reasons to get mad at you or start an argument is her way of not letting go of the relationship. It means she misses you.
In Conclusion: Trust Me She Misses You
It’s natural to spend a lot of time after a breakup wondering if your ex misses you. But the truth is, when you spend enough time with anyone, you’re bound to miss them.
So if you’re wondering if your ex misses you, trust me she does.
But as I mentioned earlier, missing someone is one thing, and wanting them back is another thing entirely.
You can still miss someone and not want them in your life.
That’s why missing them is only one part of the puzzle of rekindling romance with your ex.
So if you want to get your ex back, you’re going to need a little help.
And the best person to turn to is Brad Browning.
No matter how bad the breakup was, and how painful the arguments were, he’s developed two unique techniques to not only get your ex back but to keep them for good.
So, if you are tired of missing your ex and want to start over with him, I highly recommend checking out his great advice.
Here is the link to his free video again.
