We all know that breakups are bad.
Sometimes, after weeks, months, or years, former lovers can suddenly realize that they miss each other.
You’re probably wondering if you’re happy without her. Or maybe you’re struggling to move forward. But when do your ex-girlfriends start missing you?
Here are the big signs to watch out for…
When does an ex start missing you?
There is no magic answer to how long it takes for your ex-girlfriend to miss you.
Perhaps the inconvenient truth is that it depends. It can take days, weeks, or months.
Different variables unique to your situation will affect exactly how long it takes.
But here are 5 very important triggers that make your ex-girlfriend miss you:
1) When she feels your absence in her life
When you care about someone and have a good time with them, you will miss them when they are not around.
How long this will take will depend on how prominent you are in her life and how long it has taken.
Likewise, if you’ve been dating for 12 months, she’ll likely miss you a lot more than if you’ve only been dating for a few weeks.
It stands to reason that the more people appear in our lives, the sooner we miss them.
She must feel your absence to miss you. Even if you broke up and are not a couple now, she is unlikely to miss you if you still chat every day.
2) When she is reminded of you
Especially when we’re dealing with the loss and grief of a breakup, it doesn’t necessarily require a lot of thinking about our ex.
Maybe you hear a song on the radio, or you think of a “joke” between you two, or you pass by a place where you both hang out.
It can be the smallest things during her day that come to mind.
But it triggers memories that are so common after a breakup, that lead to bouts of sadness when we miss someone.
3) When you realize that the grass is not greener on the other side
Some people after a breakup try to throw themselves into a single life.
They may tell themselves that being single will be great, that they will have all kinds of new freedom, and that they can meet new interesting people.
But the truth is that a single life is neither better nor worse than being in a relationship. It’s completely different.
They both have their unique blessings and struggles. They both take work and effort. Both can lead to joy and disappointment.
When a relationship doesn’t seem to be working, there’s often a temptation to imagine that the grass might be greener on the other side.
Maybe you think that a single life would be more fun or easier. Maybe she imagines that someone different will offer her things that she doesn’t.
Sometimes your ex-girlfriend starts missing you as soon as she realizes that life without you isn’t as great as she had hoped.
4) When she can’t hide from her feelings any longer
One of the most painful things after a breakup is watching your ex having the time of his life.
I know how painful it is, I’ve been there. But then I noticed something.
The exes who were out all the time suddenly became very busy, and from the outside, it seemed like they didn’t care at all about the split that always eventually fell apart.
I realized something very important:
Some people try to deal with the pain of a breakup by hiding from it.
They get lost in as many distractions as possible.
They go out to celebrate and look for rebounds. They do everything they can to avoid having to stand still and face the emotions that a breakup causes.
But you can only hide for so long. In the end, you have to feel the feelings.
Your ex-girlfriend may start missing you when you can’t continue to escape her emotions.
5) When you are worried that you have moved on
The more we believe someone exists, the less we worry about losing them. It’s basic psychology.
If your ex thinks he can get you back at the drop of a hat, he’s less likely to miss you.
But as soon as you get the hint that you could have started moving forward, the panic sets in.
Maybe you see yourself working on yourself. I noticed that you would live your best life, instead of missing her and waiting for her to come back. She sees you with a mysterious new girl.
Your ex-girlfriend will start missing you if you are moving on with your life.
This is because this scares her and she starts to worry, what if I can’t get him back?
What will make my girlfriend miss me?
1) Time and place
Some things cannot be rushed. The time and place for someone to miss you is something we cannot shorten.
We can’t miss someone who is still there. We won’t miss someone until enough time has passed for us to feel their absence in our lives.
You have to give your ex-girlfriend enough time to miss you. Distance also plays a role in missing someone. So, if you stay present in her life, she can’t miss you.
You must create a feeling of distance. That’s why no contact is often suggested for couples who break up.
This time and place is crucial, regardless of whether your ultimate goal is to try to heal or you hope she will come to her senses and realize what she has lost.
2) Not staying friends
It is very tempting to keep your ex in your life.
It may seem like it’s softening the blow of the loss – that way you can still see or talk to them. Who knows, maybe they’ll change their mind and you’ll end up back in each other’s arms, right?
But unfortunately, keeping in touch with your ex means he or she is less likely to miss you. For the very obvious reason that you can’t miss someone who isn’t gone.
Many couples try to avoid dealing with the pain of a breakup by remaining friends.
But instead of being a true friendship, it is just a way to avoid loss. If you want your ex-girlfriend to miss you, don’t fall into this trap.
3) How to respond to a breakup
If you act gracious after a breakup, she will likely miss you more than if you show her your worst side.
Slandering her, being mean, or acting immature will only make her happy to see you.
Likewise, begging her to come back and pleading with her to change her mind if she breaks up with you will also likely make her withdraw more.
There’s no denying that a breakup completely shakes up our emotions. It can be very difficult to stay calm.
This doesn’t mean you need to pretend to be unaffected or uninterested, but remaining respectful and calm will always serve you better.
4) Your relationship history
Oftentimes, the longer you’re together, the harder it becomes to let go. We are creatures of habit, and you will miss anyone who has felt like a familiar element in your life for some time.
Whether the relationship is relatively happy most of the time will also affect whether (and when) your ex misses you.
If things get worse, there may be initial relief at the end of the breakup.
If the relationship was very difficult, or even toxic, your ex may still miss you, of course, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to get back together.
You can still miss someone and think the breakup was for the best.
But sometimes, relationships get a little off track or that spark fades, but it can still be repaired.
In this case, there is only one thing you can do – re-spark her romantic interest in you.
I learned this from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He’s called the “relationship freak” for good reason.
In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you back.
No matter your situation — or how bad of a mess you’ve made since your breakup — he’ll give you several helpful tips you can put into practice right away.
Here’s a link to his free video again. If you want to get your ex back, this video will help you do it.
How do you know if your ex-girlfriend misses you?
1) She stalks you online
When I know the relationship is well and truly over, I unfollow all of their social media.
It’s not about being cold-hearted or petty, quite the opposite. I want to move on with my life and I know that it will be much harder to do so if I still see every detail of what they are up to.
The places they go, the people they are with, and what they have for lunch. When you’re trying to get over your ex, constant reminders of them don’t help.
But if she wants to know what’s going on in your life, it’s probably because she still cares.
Watching all your stories is the closest thing to feeling right now. So, if she seems silent throughout her social media profile, you can assume that she misses you.
2) You want to talk to get “closure”
Closure is one of the biggest negatives in the history of relationships. I honestly don’t think it even exists.
We act as if having a big conversation about the relationship after a breakup will make a big difference. But in reality, this often does not happen.
When you want to get out of a relationship, you don’t need to try to understand what happened. Especially often we will never truly understand.
If she still wants to discuss things, she may have other ideas.
Sometimes people say they are looking for closure when in reality they are not ready to give up on the relationship yet and are still open to reconciliation.
3) She’s trying to make you jealous
One of my friends is still “friends” with his ex.
Sometimes when they’re arranging to go out, she casually mentions that she can’t make it a certain day because she has a date.
You have to ask yourself, why did she say that?
She can easily say she’s busy or suggest another day that suits her better. But no, I volunteered to tell her that she was seeing another man.
She’s trying to make him jealous. She either wants a reaction from him or is checking to see if there will be one.
Either way, if your ex-girlfriend is intentionally trying to make you jealous, she probably misses you.
4) She celebrates nonstop
I’ve said before how it seemed like some of my exes were just hanging out when we broke up. Meanwhile, I was sitting at home meditating alone.
But everyone reacts differently to a split.
Don’t assume that if your ex doesn’t stay home crying he doesn’t miss you.
Distraction is a very defensive mechanism for many people.
So the fact that she’s trying to keep herself busy might mean that she doesn’t want to stop and think about the breakup because she knows she’ll just miss you.
The problem is that we can only get over feelings for so long, they always catch up with you in the end.
5) You make big changes
Another way to deal with loss and cope with grief is to try to start over. She may do this by making some changes in her life.
