They say don’t poop on your doorstep, but narcissists don’t care where they poop. They never do, which is why their attitudes stink.

But you’re different. You’re sympathetic to their cruelty and empathetic to their evil.

Only real narcissists fit these descriptions. Sadly, we’ve become a world that pigeonholes everyone they don’t like as a “narcissist” – and that’s a dangerous game.

Here’s where I step in and offer you a little one-on-one advice on how to step away from the clutter and into the knowledge that narcissists do exist – alongside the completely negative ones.

Know The Difference – Jerk vs. Narcissist

It pains me to say it, but both exist in this diverse and vibrant world.

If you’ve spent any time at all with a narcissist, you’ll be aware of their capacity to cause trouble simply because they feel like it.

Narcissists enjoy interfering with other people’s feelings and relish the idea that they have too much power over situations, relationships, and communications.

For them, they won’t hesitate to step in between two people who get along well if they feel that dynamic duo poses a threat.

No one person or group of people is allowed to be more powerful than the narcissist alone.

Related : 16 Lines Straight out of the Narcissist Playbook

Narcissists are out to ruin your day in every way possible, and the misery they create inside of you is what they feed off of.

Now we move on to the jerks—just plain rude people who aren’t particularly interested in manipulating you but will say what’s on their mind and do whatever they want in life without thinking about you.

They sound very similar, don’t they?

They are, but they differ when it comes to long-term intent, and how they view themselves.

Narcissists think they’re the best, and no one even comes close to them.

Jerks may hate themselves openly and admit it, but that doesn’t stop them from being unkind to others.

They don’t care about having the best car or house, or showing off – they’re just miserable, bitter (and public) people.

Easy To Categorize

When you don’t like someone, it’s pretty easy to label them with a hate tag, isn’t it?

Oh, they’re total narcissists.

Look at them, they’re so narcissistic.

We seem to live in a world where, unfortunately, the “n” word is thrown around way too easily and way too often.

This means that people are more eager to label someone than to find out what’s really going on underneath it all.

Related : 10 Things Narcissism is, and What it’s Not!

So what happens to the word narcissist?

Overusing it diminishes its power and meaning.

This is no longer true when someone is truly suffering at the hands and fates of a truly toxic personality, but they are unlikely to be believed, and may even be seen as a narcissist.

The Disorder Behind the Narcissistic Personality

You have to remember that true narcissism stems from a group of personality disorders, the official term for which is Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

This is a condition that is recognized by medically trained professionals, and can lead to a diagnosis.

In other words – it is a mental illness.

This offers a lot to all victims.

First, there is validation. Nothing you did caused their behavior.

Then there is reassurance. It was not your fault. No matter how many times you were accused, and blamed.

Then, for all intents and purposes – there is empathy. Empathy is probably the last thing you want to offer the narcissist in your life (it may sound like pity).

It is not a deserved form of attention that you get from the person who suffered the most from all of this.

In their own way, narcissists suffer too. Deep down, beneath all the drama and entitlement, they suffer too.

Whether it’s because they hate themselves, or because they know they’ll never be truly happy—they know it on some level.

Empathy? To a point

Narcissists always want our sympathy. If they can stick to the victim path, they’ll gladly do so, and set up home there.

Related ; Did The Narcissist Ever Love You?

They love it when you stop what you’re doing and listen to them.

Oh, you have no idea how terrible things are for me right now.

People don’t understand me.

I’ve been so sick, but here I am working hard to pay for the roof over our heads.

Narcissists persist in this approach because it makes them seem like saints.

They know they’re not, and you know it too, but to the stranger at the coffee shop, or the customer, or the coworker, they get what they need from them with a few small, insincere statements.

If you know someone who is a bit of a jerk, they may also throw out these phrases, but they don’t do it for sympathy.

They do it because they want to vent. They may live with ungrateful people who don’t help or do their best around the house!

But the phrases are the same. It doesn’t help you, the one who is trying so hard to differentiate between a narcissist and a complete idiot, but the way you hear it is always going to give you a good idea.

Empathy for the sick

You; you meet some people who don’t have time to take care of a sick person, for example, their child.

Their work is important, and there is a lot of pressure going on. The company is rumored to be considering cuts. They need to be there and prove their point there.

Does that sound heartless? Well, it could be. But it’s completely different from a narcissist who refuses to do something that doesn’t bring them any benefit.

If they are at home taking care of their children, they get nothing from it. No supplies, no money, no joy.

Healthy people get all of these things, even if it is exhausting.

Empathy is missing in all narcissistic personalities, but empathy will still be there for those who are unable, but still care.

Be Careful Not To Get Drifted

It’s hard not to get carried away by comparing a lot of people to narcissists. Not everyone is like that, but we live in a world where traits can get a little distorted at times.

Are they?

Aren’t they?

It can be hard to know.

The only answer is to keep your distance from those who express negativity, or those who crave attention that you know is unhealthy.

As much as they want to attract you and be that person who gives them the support they need, they may also be venting to you.

They may also just be plain miserable, non-narcissistic!