Some people feel, for one reason or another, that they will stay with their abusive partner, parent, or other family member. Despite the overwhelming advice that not staying with a narcissist is the best thing one can do for themselves to enjoy a normal, peaceful life, some find they just can’t get away.
I have been in contact with many people over the years who have stayed with an abusive partner for perhaps thirty or forty years, clinging to the hope that somehow that person would change for the better.
Their hopes and dreams were shattered when time revealed that there was no improvement in behavior. Sadly, the only change they saw was that the behavior got worse as they got older.
The best advice I can give anyone is to create as much distance as possible between yourself and a toxic person. Do not engage with them on any level.
Don’t stay with a narcissist because you feel like you have to.
It is not selfish to think of yourself, it is necessary.
For those brave souls who wish to stay close to a narcissistic personality, be prepared for the challenges that you will inevitably face as you share your life with these individuals. Keep your expectations low and be prepared for a tough ride.
By all means, set your boundaries but rest assured, the narcissist will disregard them and cross those lines time and time again.
Let go of the idea of living your life on your terms. Learn about the term “double standards.” There will be a set of standards by which you are expected to live. However, these criteria will not apply to them.
You are expected to live your life as the narcissist sees fit and abide by their rules.
You will lose your individuality as you strive to achieve the impossible… namely, to make them happy.
As most of us know, we are responsible for our happiness. We can’t count on others to do it for us. However, the narcissist does not see things that way.
They need your endless attention and admiration to feel some semblance of contentment for short periods.
Read : Why It Cannot Work With The Narcissist: 5 Reasons
The narcissist will get bored relatively quickly and you will find that you are not doing enough to ensure that these content snippets last long.
Invest in shoes or boots with thick soles to protect your feet from sharp edges while you’re constantly walking on eggshells, and stick around that person so you don’t upset them with a casual look, remark, or dare we say, disagreement.
Lose yourself serving your master or mistress. Your friends will disappear because, after all, you can’t be loyal to two masters so they won’t have a place in your life anymore.
You will no doubt be told what kind of bad guys they are, so you are better off without them. Your isolation will ensure that you have no one to turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on.
Read : 5 Roles We Play In A Narcissist’s Life
Let go of any idea that respects your ideas, needs, and desires.
Your emotional well-being is not their concern.
They will never feel your pain as you struggle to understand the hurt they are causing you as a result of their cruel actions and deeds. You are likely just too sensitive.
Get used to their anger, internalize their anger, and expect to bear the brunt of these uncontrollable episodes.
Learn to forgive them for their misdeeds over and over but don’t expect them to forgive you.
As you go through your life, try not to think about the past, about “what if” or “could have been.”
Try not to think about how much better life would have been if you had left all those years ago. You decided to stay with someone who will never appreciate the sacrifices you made for them.
