She fell in love with Mr. Terrific, and after she settled down, he changed — and not for the better. He made you think things were going one way, and you ended up pushing forward until you got stuck and didn’t know how to get out again.
It’s as if you woke up from a terrible dream to realize you’re living a nightmare.
You open your eyes and ask, “Who is this guy anyway?” You keep thinking, This is not the same man I married.
You vowed to yourself that your marriage wouldn’t be like your best friend’s marriage, and you remembered the day she called you in tears to tell you that Mr. Gorgeous of eight years had put a ring on her finger, married her, and then hit her on the finger. honeymoon. I was speechless, shocked, and helpless.
She had known them as a couple all that time, and she couldn’t remember any signs that it was anything but good love between them. how is that possible? But she’s your best friend, of course, I believed her.
For you, it would have been different. When I met Mr. Wonderful, it was love at first sight! It was magical! I believed it was great.
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He was charismatic and exuded charm to you and most likely to all the other women he saw. You couldn’t help but love him for making you feel that way. So how did he become this man? Will it get worse?
Eight warning signs that the man you love is changing for the worse
- Your friends stop asking about him and visiting him
Maybe your friends warned you about men, but you didn’t believe them. They loved him, but they slowly fell silent.
One day I turned around, and they had stopped coming. Now that I think about it, no one comes to you anymore. You don’t go anywhere he doesn’t want you to go, so you’ve lost a lot of friends over the years.
- He treats you like Cinderella, except he’s not the nice prince
Mr. Terrific is gone, and all you have left is him. You are now his personal Cinderella, and he has fallen into your trap.
He verbally frustrates you when you are alone and sometimes when you are with others. It rises and falls, over and over in the same cycle of emotions: hope, disappointment, hurt, anger, loss.
It’s like you’re losing control of yourself because he keeps telling you things that you know aren’t true, and then you start to believe them. When he pushes it further, he convinces you that it will get better.
And for a short while, it might do so.
At first, you hope that he will change as he promised.
Then, when it doesn’t, you’re disappointed again! Finally, when you share your feelings with him, he turns everything around and makes you feel responsible for his bad behavior.
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- You cannot keep up with his mood and requirements
How did you not see any of this coming?
At first, it wasn’t even tangible. It started with a look, a little word, maybe even a look. The next thing you knew, you were living life to make him happy at your expense.
The more you try to please him and do it his way, the more he finds fault. For years, your only priority has been to make him happy and feel supported, but he takes and takes from you and gives nothing but misery in return.
If he’s not happy, you’re not happy, and if he’s happy, you’re happy, but there’s some fear that it will change quickly (because it usually does).
- People have no idea what happens behind closed doors
She decided to give him more so things would be perfect.
The painful part is that the more you give away, the less you keep for yourself.
In other words, you kept giving him everything: your thoughts, your emotions, your hopes, your paycheck, and then suddenly… it got bad. Now you feel numb, confused, sad, and angry.
Everyone tells you how lucky you are to be married to someone charming, smart, and successful. They have no idea.
You hear their words and see their smiles, but you can’t even comprehend what’s happening in your life.
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When you know it’s not going to get better, take matters into your own hands
The only thing you know for sure now is that things won’t get better. Beyond that, everything is blurry. Your life is a composite of only two feelings: despair and fear.
What to do next
Now is the time to make yourself a priority! If you are tired, rest a little. If you are hungry, feed yourself. If you need a hug, hug yourself.
Start taking better care of yourself. Go for a walk or walk the dog a little longer. Talk to someone who’s not in your circle of friends, see a counselor, or talk to someone you trust.
