Narcissists often have an outward appearance of charm, confidence, and success, but beneath this mask lies a deeply distorted view of other people, including those closest to them. Understanding what narcissists really think about you requires delving into the psychology of narcissism, which revolves around inflated self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Here’s a look at what narcissists may truly think about you, despite what they show on the surface:
1. You Are a Tool for Their Self-Esteem
Narcissists often view people not as equals, but as tools to serve their own needs and desires. They see relationships as transactional, with the primary goal of enhancing their self-esteem. If you offer admiration, validation, or help them achieve their personal goals, they see you as useful. The moment you stop serving that purpose or challenge them, they may discard or devalue you.
What They Think: “You’re only valuable to me as long as you boost my image or serve my needs.”
2. Your Emotions Are Irrelevant
One of the defining traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy. While they may appear to understand your feelings or concerns, this is often superficial. Narcissists are more concerned with how your emotions affect them rather than understanding you as an individual. If your emotions inconvenience them, they are likely to dismiss or minimize them.
What They Think: “Your feelings are a distraction unless they relate to me or make me look good.”
3. They Are Superior to You
Narcissists often believe they are superior to others, even if they don’t explicitly say it. They may view you as less intelligent, less capable, or less deserving of admiration. This sense of superiority leads them to disregard your opinions, downplay your achievements, and sometimes condescend or patronize you. They thrive on comparisons, always seeking to come out on top.
Related : Truths Narcissists Don’t Want You to Know
What They Think: “I am better than you in every way, and I don’t need your input.”
4. You Are Replaceable
In the narcissist’s mind, people are interchangeable. This is why they often jump from relationship to relationship or friend to friend, depending on who serves their needs at any given moment. If you don’t conform to their expectations or stop providing them with attention or admiration, they will easily replace you with someone else who can.
What They Think: “If you don’t do what I want, I can always find someone else.”
5. They Are Entitled to Your Time and Attention
Narcissists believe they deserve more attention, more admiration, and more resources than others. They often think that your time, energy, and focus should be devoted entirely to them, regardless of your own needs or desires. They expect you to drop everything for them and may react negatively if you don’t prioritize them.
What They Think: “You should always put me first because I deserve it.”
6. Your Criticism Is a Personal Attack
Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism, even when it is constructive or well-meaning. Any form of criticism is seen as a direct attack on their fragile ego. When criticized, they may react with anger, defensiveness, or even turn the blame around on you, making you feel guilty for having brought up the issue in the first place.
What They Think: “How dare you criticize me? I’m perfect, and if there’s a problem, it’s your fault.”
7. Your Success Is a Threat
Although narcissists often crave success and admiration, they don’t genuinely celebrate the success of others—especially those close to them. If you achieve something significant, it can threaten their self-esteem and superiority complex. In response, they may downplay your achievements, criticize your success, or shift the conversation back to themselves to regain the spotlight.
What They Think: “Your success makes me feel inferior, so I need to undermine it or take credit for it.”
Related : How Narcissists Test You
8. You Can Be Manipulated
Narcissists are skilled manipulators who often believe they can easily influence or control those around them. Whether through charm, guilt, or gaslighting, they see other people as pieces on a chessboard, moving them as needed to serve their own goals. They may believe that your loyalty or affection is something they can exploit.
What They Think: “I can get you to do what I want if I play my cards right.”
9. You’re There to Admire Them
Narcissists crave admiration and approval. They often surround themselves with people they think will provide them with a steady stream of validation. They don’t see relationships as two-way streets but as platforms for them to be praised. Your role in their life, from their perspective, is to be a constant source of admiration.
What They Think: “You exist to admire me, and I expect you to keep doing so.”
10. They’re Always the Victim
When things go wrong, narcissists rarely take responsibility. They tend to view themselves as victims of circumstance or the actions of others, rather than acknowledging their own role in problems. If there’s conflict, they will often cast you as the aggressor or the one to blame, while they take on the role of the misunderstood or mistreated party.
What They Think: “Everything is your fault, and I’m the one who’s suffering.”
Conclusion
In a narcissist’s eyes, the people around them exist to serve their ego, provide admiration, and enhance their self-image. Narcissists think primarily in terms of what you can offer them rather than who you are as a person. Understanding this dynamic can help you protect yourself from their manipulative tactics and avoid getting trapped in a toxic relationship where your worth is based solely on how well you serve their needs.
