I have been in a relationship with a narcissist for over four years. I didn’t realize he was a narcissist until I started feeling like I was losing my mind about 2 years ago and sought treatment.
My therapist was a specialist in narcissistic abuse and told me that’s what I was experiencing.
The relationship, or lack thereof, started well, then became very bad, and the cycle continued to get progressively worse and filled with emotional abuse.
Related: 3 Common Behaviors and Values of Narcissistic People: Understanding the Narcissistic Personality
My therapist moved on about six months ago and it seems like my life has been a mess ever since.
I have tried opening a new processor but to no avail. Instead, I searched the internet for advice and couldn’t find much.
Two weeks ago I suspected him of cheating.
For example, he only wanted to be intimate outside of his house, and if I went over to his house I noticed that things were tidier than usual, he had an extra toothbrush, he changed his mind about us being exclusive every day, and he gave me the silent treatment if I gave any say in our situation.
Last night I headed over to his house after we argued about investing some money in a romantic couple’s getaway.
Related: Can We Teach Narcissists to Care?
Once I realized there were additional hidden costs, I realized I couldn’t afford half of my costs.
He didn’t want to give me my money back and said I was holding things back for our own good. Later that same night, he wanted to get physical and I was hesitant, so I said no.
He begged, so I finally gave in.
We were starting to get hot and heavy, but he didn’t want to have sex with me at his house – he wanted to use my car! In the middle of sex, he stopped to say that he was no longer in the mood, and left me alone in the car!
I got dressed and asked him if I could at least go to his apartment to wash, and he said no. He finally agreed to let me use the downstairs bathroom to wash up, but it had no running water.
Related: 10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders
When I got home, we talked about exclusivity and he said he didn’t know how to feel about it.
We’ve been going back and forth for a while, but I can’t take it anymore! I sent him an email and a text telling him how I felt about the whole ordeal and that I was done.
I am very hurt. Narcissistic abuse is completely different from anything you have ever experienced.
I’m thinking about changing my number or running away, but I don’t know what to do.
