Narcissistic rage is one of the most toxic emotional outbursts you can imagine. It seems to come out of nowhere, full of anger and bullshit.
Narcissism and narcissistic rage are different. We all have some narcissistic tendencies but generally we try to work on improving ourselves.
However, anger is an action that people often use to get their way. There are also other reasons why people resort to this heightened anger and cold, callous behavior. First, let’s get a basic definition of this problem so we can understand how it works.
Narcissistic rage is an outburst of anger or cold silence used by someone suffering from narcissistic personality disorder.
Here’s the short version: Narcissistic rage comes from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
It is possible that some instances of this anger come from early trauma such as abuse or neglect. Some people, instead of truly surviving the trauma, may try to bury their true selves within the shell of those injuries.
They then create a false persona based on grandiose, inflated lies. The person they show to the world is not real at all. This makes it fragile and easy to break when confronted. I think you can see a pattern developing here.
What triggers narcissistic anger?
There are many reasons why this anger occurs, most of them toxic. Even more disturbing is that narcissistic rage can occur for no reason at all, out of the blue.
You might be having a good time, or so you think, and suddenly, your loved one gets mad at you and calls you names. They will also talk about things you did years ago, they will lie, and they will say the opposite of what they said about you when they weren’t crazy.
It’s absolutely amazing. Here are some examples of triggers that may trigger a narcissist’s anger:
The narcissist is no longer the center of attention despite having more important priorities.
They were arrested. Whether they were caught lying, breaking once-clear boundaries, or violating social norms.
They didn’t get what they wanted, or what they wanted. This may even be when something is completely unreasonable.
The narcissist is faced with what they are. For example, they are told about their manipulation and excessive self-esteem.
Control is taken away from the individual with narcissistic personality disorder. They panic and get angry.
They are asked to take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming others.
Finally, they are criticized for something, and they feel insulted.
5 examples of narcissistic rage and how to respond to it
I know it sounds terrifying, but you can learn how to respond to narcissistic rage. But to deal with it, you have to understand it and the many ways it shows up in different situations and types of relationships.
You may experience this anger in the workplace, with friends, and in relationships. So dealing with narcissistic rage depends on the specific person and place.
- Anger in the family
Narcissistic rage runs in families, and creates one of the most difficult environments.
Example: Some family members despise answering questions, but, as you know, asking questions is the only way to get an answer. If her mother constantly yells at the daughter for asking questions, this is a form of narcissistic rage. The mother feels that her daughter should already know the answers, and treats her in a condescending manner.
Not only can you escape from your family, but you can take other steps to help you deal with this problem. Family dysfunction can be dealt with from two angles.
Awareness of borderline personality disorder is important when dealing with someone in your family who may have BPD. Sometimes individuals don’t know they are acting. This is common with families and can be helped through communication.
Creating a little space between family members also helps calm the narcissistic rage. It gives each side time to step back and look at themselves and the unfounded anger.
If these steps don’t help, family therapy may be able to get to the root of some problems, relieve some of the anger, and help some people in the family come to terms with who they are.
- Anger in relationships
One of the most common places where narcissistic rage occurs is in an intimate relationship. You may wonder why so many people get involved with angry individuals in this way.
Well, the truth is, they hide behind a façade for as long as possible, snagging their mate, then finally showing their true colors. It’s easier than you think to get caught in this trap.
