What is narcissistic neglect?
Describes how a narcissist ends a relationship. It’s called “ignoring” because it makes you feel like they’ve dismissed you like trash.
Narcissists have no empathy, and do not consider the feelings of others. You are an object to them, not a person. For the narcissist, when something is no longer useful, he gets rid of it.
The three stages in the narcissistic abuse cycle are love bombing, devaluation, and neglect. Narcissistic ignoring is the final stage of a relationship with a narcissist. The elimination process can be gradual or sudden.
So, what are the signs that narcissistic neglect is happening to you?
6 Signs a narcissist is ignoring you
- You went from hero to zero
When you first encounter a narcissist, they shower you with compliments and attention. They have idealized you; He put you on a pedestal, bought you gifts, and thought you’d met your prince or princess.
It was intense, and the relationship moved quickly; Maybe it was too fast for you, but you got carried away anyway. This is love bombing, and narcissists use strategies like this to lure their victims.
When a narcissist ignores you, his or her attitude toward you changes, but it is the speed of this change that makes this behavior so confusing and painful. You’ll go from “You’re the love of my life” to “I hate you and wish I’d never met you” within a day.
What did I do wrong? How can someone say they love you one minute and then despise you the next? This is a sign of narcissistic neglect.
- You get the silent treatment
One effective stage of narcissistic neglect is to use the silent treatment. When narcissists exhaust your resources, such as attention, money, or an ego boost, they will find someone else to exploit. You are irrelevant to them now. Narcissists only care about themselves. They do not owe you an explanation, closure, or understanding.
Narcissists will not waste time explaining to you what went wrong; It was never about you. You only matter to them when they can get something from you.
Now you are worthless, and your feelings are immaterial to them. They don’t give you a second thought. They certainly won’t call you for a deep and meaningful explanation.
- They act like completely different people
At first, the relationship was hot and heavy. You were inseparable. The narcissist bombards you with texts and calls. They always wanted to see you. All the attention overwhelmed you.
During the narcissistic rejection phase, the narcissist becomes cold and emotionally withdrawn. Any layman would find this transition from hot to cold puzzling.
How can you turn off your emotions like a light switch? It’s confusing to us. Narcissists get rid of you easily, because they never loved or cared for you.
Once this loving person shares your dreams, wants your children, and begs you to marry you. Now they are acting completely out of character. Want answers, they become more aggressive.
- They care about someone else
A reliable sign of narcissistic abandonment is when you see them starting a cycle of narcissistic abuse with someone else.
A narcissist’s greatest fear is being alone. They branch from one relationship to another, leaving one branch only when they are sure that the other is strong enough to support them. Sometimes, people realize they have connected with a narcissist only during this final ignoring phase.
The narcissist has exhausted your resources and wants a new one. You watch them use the same love bombing tactics on their new victim as they did on you.
It’s easy to spot their manipulative tactics when you see someone else fall in love with them. However, when you’re in the middle of the whirlwind of love bombing, it’s much more difficult.
- They pretend to be the victim
Narcissists don’t get rid of their partner until they have a supply ready. There is a period of change during this twisted triangle.
During this period, they will blame you for rushing into the relationship, being too needy, pressuring them, or being insecure. You are the villain and they are the victim. What happens is that you are fired while the new supply is introduced.
However, the narcissist must explain to his new partner why he is still in a relationship with you (narcissists cannot handle being alone). So they paint themselves as the victim.
You are the abusive/toxic villain, and their new partner is the savior who can “save” them from their terrible ex. With narcissists, it’s all about what they can gain from you.
At the beginning of a relationship, you are a positive source. You give them attention, boost their ego, and make them feel special. Ultimately, they drain your usefulness as a reliable and positive source.
However, make no mistake, you are still useful to them as a “passive supply” during the narcissistic ignoring phase. They are using you as a tool to connect themselves to a new partner. Once the potential rescuer shows commitment, they are promoted to partner and the narcissistic elimination of you is complete.
- You are a ghost
The final stage of narcissistic elimination is ghosting. Once the narcissist becomes confident in his new stock, he will dump you with all the robot feelings.
Ghosting is another form of control and manipulation. All dialogue is under their control. Ghosting is a cowardly way to get out of a relationship. So it’s perfect for narcissists when they want to end things.
Ghosting is usually the end of the story, but some narcissists will come back to you. This is the narcissistic hovercraft. This happens when their current offer doesn’t work, so they come back to you. This is why a narcissist becomes anxious after getting rid of you. They will not end the relationship until they are sure of their new supply.
