A covert narcissist is just as narcissistic as a typical extroverted narcissist. Some narcissists emphasize one personality trait more than others. One person may be an extrovert who is always showing off and needs to be the center of attention, while another narcissist may be a vindictive bully, a playboy, a domineering authoritarian, or a meticulous know-it-all, as Madonna explained, “Listen, everyone’s entitled to my opinion.” .
Some public figures and celebrities embody extroverted narcissists – grandiose people who crave attention. “Narcissistic personality disorder is not only not accepted in the entertainment industry, it is often demanding,” said radio presenter and psychologist Dr. Wendy Walsh. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual criteria describe these types as “exhibitionist narcissists.”
The hidden narcissist
There are several subtypes of narcissists. Among them are covert narcissists. Psychoanalyst James Masterson first identified the “covert narcissist” – a diminished person, with an inadequate self-perception. Because they lack the aggressiveness of exhibitionistic narcissists, they are more susceptible to depression and feelings of emptiness or things falling apart. This subtype has also been referred to as the “covert narcissist,” “vulnerable narcissist,” or “introverted narcissist.”
On the surface, they may be difficult to recognize. These narcissists may appear shy, humble, or anxious. Their satisfaction may be indirect through their emotional investment in someone they admire. They take things personally and feel mistrusted, mistreated, unappreciated and misunderstood. Although they undervalue themselves, they dream of greatness and wonder why people don’t appreciate and understand them.
They still qualify as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), particularly feeling special, wanting to be admired (perhaps secretly), lacking empathy, and feeling entitled. They are still selfish and expect special treatment. They often feel that their uniqueness is not appreciated, that they are misunderstood, or that people or the world at large do not adequately recognize their uniqueness. Some play the role of victim and martyr.
They may be philanthropists, clergy, or members of the helping professions. However, despite the fact that they may seem like they truly care about others, they are driven by a need for appreciation, control over others, or selfish pride. They may help by taking charge without asking for permission. They act self-righteously, superior, moralistic, or like exploiters, resentful of all their giving.
Contrast with the extroverted narcissist
Despite sharing basic traits, the covert narcissist is, to some extent, a mirror image of the display narcissist. While the latter demands to be the center of attention, the former feels insulted because he is not, or attracts attention by playing the victim. Instead of working the room, the covert narcissist immerses himself in himself. Normal introverts are usually good listeners, but not this narcissist. They consider others boring or ignorant. Instead of issuing orders to others, the covert narcissist can work his way up indirectly through passive-aggressive behavior. They may agree on some things, but not follow through, delay, forget, or pretend there is no agreement. All narcissists are manipulative. Covert narcissists may add self-pity to their toolkit for controlling others. Instead of directly belittling others, they are more likely to express envy.
Due to their introversion, rather than openly showing off, covert narcissists display reserved arrogance and judge everyone as inferior. They may act aloof and uninterested or make dismissive or dismissive gestures, such as looking away, sighing, yawning impolitely, or acting bored. While all narcissists react poorly to criticism, an introvert may have the thinnest skin of all, because they believe they are uniquely sensitive. Instead of the aggressive and exploitative nature of extroverted narcissists, coverts experience feelings of neglect or belittling, hypersensitivity, anxiety, and delusions of persecution.
The hidden narcissist in relationships
Covert narcissists can be just as destructive to relationships as extroverted types. Emotional abuse may be more silent and subtle, but it can wear you down and demoralize you. Your needs and requests for attention will be ignored or ignored. You can indulge in trying to console and help this manipulative martyr to no avail. There is no way you can fill their void or change their victim mentality. I left feeling resentful and angry.
At the same time, your self-esteem is gradually undermined. The narcissist lacks empathy for you, will not see you as a separate individual, and will do what is necessary to maintain power and control. Their pain and needs will always take priority, so you will feel alone and neglected.
