When the time comes, the narcissist’s divorce must be done carefully. While some remain in counseling, others decide the relationship is over.
Be careful when divorcing your narcissistic partner. Doing so is like riding on a new roller coaster. While some people break up in peaceful ways, some make ending a relationship hell. It’s terrifying and unpredictable, hence the reference to roller coasters.
When the divorce is not at least halfway peaceful, one or both parties can be narcissistic. I was married to a narcissist once and twice, and ending the marriage taught me several things.
Tips for narcissistic divorce
For many people, divorce is the only solution to stop narcissistic abuse. Before you decide to tell your narcissistic partner that you want a divorce, you should know what to expect during the process. It will be different, and it will not be calm.
Here are some tips from what I’ve learned, and believe me, I learned the hard way. Use these tips to get through a divorce and stay safe.
- You will be irrational
I want you to remember something important. When you ask a narcissist for a divorce, the first thing that goes out the window is rational communication. It’s always best to break up on good terms, but with a narcissist, that seems impossible.
So, forget about trying to reason with them or use logic. They will be too busy telling everyone how bad you are. Their priority is to make sure you are in charge of everything. Just don’t waste your time talking to them at all.
- Get rid of your feelings
When you divorce a narcissist, you have to hide your emotions. This is because a narcissist will do anything in their power to annoy you. If you are going to court, this can be used against you.
Imagine for a moment that you are in a courtroom and your ex says something that makes you angry. If you let your feelings go to waste, the court will see your negative side. This is what the narcissist wants. They are perfect when it comes to posing and agitating. So keep your face straight, and stay calm.
- Keep a record
It is smart to keep a record of the ways narcissists act. Your ex will reveal a lot about themselves in text messages, emails, and when talking to you.
Keep all of your texts and emails, and if you’re brave enough, quietly play your phone recorder to catch any emotional abuse. You will need this guide because your toxic half will go for the kill.
- Watch out for the gas
I hate gassing, and I’ve experienced that many times. When a narcissist divorces, this gaslighting won’t stop. Your ex will use this tactic just as much during the divorce proceedings as before. He might be pulling out all the stops just because you got stuck. Beware of scams.
In case you don’t understand gaslighting, here are some of the tricks used in this sneaky tactic:
It makes you look and feel crazy to others
Actions will not match words
Turn others against you
Use good verbs after you’ve seen the bad side of them
Lies, lies, and lies
He denies the right in the face of truth and proof
Pay attention to these things and don’t let them get to you. If you can defend well against gaseous lighting, you’ve won half the battle. I have endured all of these things and more. It is a disgusting and desperate mentality.
- Create a separate account
You see, this sounds deceptive and cruel, right? Well, unfortunately, sometimes you have to play the same game to come out on top. I am in no way promoting lies and hiding things, but I will be in favor of keeping some money in a secret place when you are about to divorce a narcissist.
If you don’t, they will be able to take all the money from your joint accounts and other financial outlets. It’s always safe to take something back, not on a rainy day, but for a heavy storm. Just trust me on this one. This “End of the World” bank account will be a great help as you get started.
- Strengthen yourself beforehand
Even before you file for divorce, you need to be strong and at your best, both physically and mentally. Although the narcissist will continually diminish your emotions and mental faculties, try to ignore most of that as best you can.
Make sure you are physically active and that you are eating well. Try not to let the narcissist rob you of your appetite. I remember losing about 40 lbs due to my loved one’s toxic lies and deceit. Then I started learning ways to rise above that and gain a little weight. It helped me to be strong for the next battle of my life.
