Although revenge is rarely healthy, you are only a human made of flesh and blood.
So, if you have been hurt by a toxic man in the past, you can’t help but ask yourself what hurts the narcissist the most and how you might hurt him emotionally.
If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist or if you have fallen in love with a narcissist, you may have wondered what you can do to make them pay for hurting you.
If you really want to get revenge on your narcissist, you first have to get inside his head.
I know that this is the guy you have planned a future with and you don’t want to admit to yourself that he is a terrible person and a sociopath but you must accept that in order to move forward.
First, you have to stop idealizing it and see it for what it is.
You have to accept that he has BPD and that he is toxic to you and that he will always be that way.
If you want revenge because you secretly hope it will make him understand what he’s losing and make him see that he loves you, forget it because this could be very dangerous for you.
Instead, you should think about his weaknesses and weaknesses, the things that give him a boost and those that frustrate him.
Of course, you have to use all of this against him and to your advantage.
Although this is one of the hardest things you can do, you need to find a way to stop all the feelings you have for him and you need to let your reason be your only guide.
Forget being codependent and ignore any sympathy you may feel for this man.
If you really want to hurt him, your conscience or guilt has no place here.
You need to be sure that this is exactly what you want to do, and if so, you need to stop any remorse you may have about this revenge.
Just remember that this man has hurt you a million times and all signs of remorse will disappear immediately.
You also need to make it clear to yourself that your narcissist will never love you and is only masquerading as irresistible.
So you have to take love out of this equation.
Additionally, don’t ever expect him to change towards you or any other woman in his future.
You won’t teach him a lesson by hurting him because he will do everything he did to you to every woman who crosses his path.
In short, what I’m trying to ask of you is not to expect too much from this project.
You will get nothing but personal satisfaction, and that should be your goal.
See also: 6 Cognitive Effects That Distort the Way You Think
Talk about his flaws
Although many people assume that an abuser is the one who has the control in the narcissistic relationship, it only appears this way.
In reality, every serious narcissist is actually very vulnerable and only pretends to be tough and confident when the reality is completely different.
Once you understand that he chose to be with you because he needs you to boost his ego, you will also understand that you are in fact in complete control of the situation and you will realize how easy it is to rock his world.
Although it doesn’t seem that way, all narcissists have very fragile egos and their low self-confidence is their weakest point.
They act like they love themselves and think they are perfect, but in reality this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The narcissist has only one goal in all the relationships he builds, especially in romantic relationships: he wants approval and the only way to get it is to hurt you.
When this man first met you, he knew that you could be a good victim for his manipulations because he saw that you were fascinated by him.
He saw that he had succeeded in impressing you and this was exactly what he had been looking for all his life.
So, if you really want to hurt him, you need to change the ways you deal with him.
Instead of constantly praising and praising him, you should focus on his flaws and shortcomings.
However, in order to do that, you have to take off your rose-colored glasses and see this man for who he really is and this will help you see that he is far from perfect.
Once you achieve this, you need to make sure to constantly remind him of his shortcomings. There is no need to insult him directly; Instead, build some self-doubt into it.
This is the biggest punishment for the narcissist. He would never stop feeling insecure, the way he wanted to make you feel, and he would start questioning his every move.
You see, he has an uncontrollable desire to be perfect in everyone’s eyes and especially in the eyes of his current victim.
Therefore, this man will do everything in his power to gain your approval and regain your admiration because that is what feeds him spiritually.
Give him a taste of his own medicine
If you’ve ever wondered what hurts a narcissist the most, the best way is to give them a taste of their own medicine.
This means that you should start treating him the way he always treated you, like you don’t care.
This doesn’t mean you have to make a big announcement about not contacting him or threaten him that you’ll start treating him the way he deserves.
This will only alarm him and he will know that you are doing all this just to get back at him.
Instead, you should simply start ignoring the narcissist, and act the way he or she deserves, one step at a time.
The first thing you need to do is stop giving priority to this man; Trust me, this will crush him even more.
Even though you had been putting him first since the moment you guys met, he had always treated you as one of his options and always put you at the bottom of his priority list.
So instead of waiting for him to treat you the way you treat him and the way you deserve, start acting like he’s not that important to you.
When he calls you, don’t hesitate to give him the silent treatment or tell him that you’re busy and have other, more important plans that you can’t reschedule.
You can also simply ignore his phone calls and text messages.
However, be careful not to overreact because he may completely lose interest once he sees that he is not getting any feedback from you.
Just play mind games with him, the same way he plays with you. One day, act like they’re the most important person in the world to you, and the next, treat them like your last resort.
Make him beg for your attention and love, like he has been doing all along.
Make sure you give him just enough of yourself to keep him addicted but always leave him craving for more.
Again, I beg you to be careful and not expect him to change his ways by doing this.
Don’t expect him to understand that his behavior is wrong once he feels it on his skin.
Remember that the narcissist always believes that he is right and that there is nothing wrong with him treating you or others around him the way he does.
See also: 5 Signs Toxic Shame Is Taking Over Your Life & How to Stop It
Criticize him in front of others
We’ve already mentioned that you can’t teach a narcissist a lesson and you can’t teach him to care.
However, what you can do is embarrass and humiliate him.
We have already mentioned that the sole goal of every narcissist is to gain approval and boost his or her ego.
Therefore, he never cares about his personal qualities and personality traits.
As a matter of fact, he doesn’t care how he looks in your eyes once he sees that you’ve fallen in love with him.
However, what your narcissist cares about is the opinion of the general public and the people around him.
Remember, you were one of those people in the beginning and he did everything he could to impress you.
He’s been living his whole life the same way, trying to impress everyone around him and trying to hide his true personality.
He does all this because he lies to himself and because he refuses to accept his true self.
This is why most narcissists are actually highly valued people in their families or at work.
This is why other people, in general, find it difficult to believe the victims of narcissists, and why their victims find it difficult to believe themselves, believing that they are exaggerating.
Every narcissist strives to build his own fantasy world in which he is a loved and respected human being.
So, if you want to hurt him for all the pain he has caused you, you have to burst his bubble.
Hurt him the same way he tends to hurt people. One of the most effective ways to do this is to start embarrassing and humiliating him in front of others.
I’m not saying that you should always do it directly, or that you should insult him in front of others. However, when you think about it, you know this man better.
You know his weaknesses and all his flaws, no matter how hard he tries to hide them. So instead of praising him in front of everyone, focus on his flaws.
All you have to do is be cunning to prevent him from realizing your true intentions, otherwise he will run for his life.
If you want to humiliate him, belittle his value in front of everyone around him and simply act as if you are above him, the same way he always acted towards you.
This will never have the same effect unless you do it publicly.
No narcissist can stand people looking down on him or making fun of him, and that’s exactly what you must achieve if you really want to bring him down.
When a narcissist feels more insecure than usual, it will make him question his every move and decision.
This will reduce his confidence even more and make him paranoid.
Of course, every time he accuses you of trying to do this, make sure to convince him that he is imagining things and that you are just trying to give him some advice for his own good.
Make him doubt your love for him
The narcissistic manipulator must make sure you love him or her.
From the moment he laid his eyes on you, his only goal was to make you crazy and madly in love with him. Without it, he couldn’t really do his job of manipulating and using you, right?
Do you remember how he pretended to be this perfect guy at first? How did he treat you like a queen and how did he always put your needs before everyone else’s?
Do you remember how he acted like you were the woman of his dreams and the most important person in his life, and told you that he really loved you?
Do you remember how happy you were that you finally met the love of your life and someone who can make you happy and who can make you feel loved and wanted, no matter what?
Well, I’m sure by now you know that it was all a mask.
Every narcissist acts this way until he gets what he wants. You have to keep in mind that narcissistic men are different from the majority of men out there.
