Ignoring a manipulator takes courage and determination. If you ignore the manipulator, what happens now? Will they choose another victim or will they start harassing you?
Manipulators want control. They use tactics designed to undermine your confidence and self-esteem, making it hard to walk away from them. So, what happens when you ignore a manipulator? Here are eight things that manipulators try to regain control of.
What happens when you ignore a manipulator?
Control supports everything the manipulator does. If you ignore them, they lose control temporarily. There are several ways they can get it back. They can control what other people think of you, how you act, how people view the situation you’re in, and even your financial situation.
Let’s look at how manipulators behave when you ignore them.
- They start a smear campaign against you
If the manipulator cannot control you, he will influence people who know you. Manipulators are prolific liars. They are not shy about spreading false rumors or calling you insults. This creates distance between you and your support network.
Once you are isolated, they can take back control. Manipulators also love to discredit your friends and family members. They may say that a certain person is a bad influence on you and that you should cut them out of your life.
- They feel guilty for calling you
Usually, what happens when you ignore a manipulator is that they escalate their behavior.
Tripping over guilt is on the first page of the manipulator’s handbook. It’s a way of luring you into believing you’ve done something wrong. One technique is to remind you of everything they’ve done for you. How to forgive you when no one else.
or they may blame you for their circumstances; By saying that they would be better off if they hadn’t met you, and now you owe them something. It is your fault that they are in the mess they are in.
- They create an emergency
If guilt tripping doesn’t work, the next step is to come up with an emergency situation that you can’t ignore. Narcissists are manipulative, and they can’t afford to be ignored. Narcissists need to be the center of attention. They will go to extreme measures to get your attention again.
Creating an emergency can include:
Threats of suicide or self-harm and then not returning your calls.
Start dating a close friend of yours.
I tell you that they will be evacuated, and they have nowhere to go.
Overuse of alcohol or drugs and calling you from the hospital and blaming you for not being there to stop them.
criminal behavior and asks you to save them.
Showing up drunk at places they know you frequent.
- They bombard you with texts and calls
In Fatal Attraction, Alex Forrest tells the married man Dan “I’m not going to be ignored, Dan!”
Narcissists and sociopaths hate losing control. How dare you refuse to reply to their messages? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are dealing with?
The messages may start out flattering and loving, but if you ignore the manipulator, they will quickly become obnoxious. Messages often follow a pattern, for example:
He pleads: “I miss you so much, please return my call.”
Factual statements: “Look, I just want to talk, call me.”
Threatening behavior: “Listen, you idiot b****, pick up the phone now or you’ll be sorry.”
Saying Sorry: “Please forgive me, I didn’t know what I was doing.”
It will start all over again when they don’t get a response. Using Fatal Attraction again as an example; Dan regrets it after Alex calls him 20 times. A detective tells him that what he did proves to her that it takes 20 calls for him to answer.
- They will use creative ways to contact you
If the direct method does not work, the manipulator will resort to covert methods of contacting you. This may include “liking” or commenting on social media posts. Post anniversary photos on your Facebook wall or ask their followers to comment on the situation.
Manipulators do not hesitate to approach your friends and family members. As a result, you may receive a call from one of them. If they are vindictive, they can go to your workplace, knowing that constant interruptions could put your career in jeopardy.
- They bring in a third party (triangulation)
Triangulation is where you bring a third party into a dispute to get that person on your side. Sometimes manipulators brainwash a family member or friend into getting over you.
For example, if they reach out to your parents, they may be showing false concern about your career or your love life. Now your mom and dad are involved and instead of fighting the manipulator, you’re fending off your family members.
Of course, the manipulator will use charm and persuasion to convince your parents that only your best interest is at heart.
- They act as if nothing is wrong
What happens when you ignore a manipulator? Sometimes they continue as normal. You may think that the relationship is over and that you have made your feelings clear. Then, suddenly, after a few months, the manipulator contacts you with a message like
“Hey, how are you? Would you like to catch up later?”
I was shocked. This person may have cheated on you or broken up with you; Maybe they bombarded you with texts and calls and you never responded. In the end, you blocked their number and moved on with your life. Now, all of a sudden, you pop up like you’re BFFs and nothing happens.
- They punish you for ignoring them
There is nothing as frightening and dramatic as narcissistic rage. But anger is not just a characteristic of narcissists. When some manipulators don’t get what they want, this turns into uncontrollable anger. They will punish you for ignoring them.
The manipulator will attack physically, verbally, or both. They will attack your reputation, your relationships, and your new partner; They will even go after your money. The moment when you leave the manipulator for good and he realizes that control is gone is the most dangerous time for victims.
