As a narcissist, you believe that you are superior to everyone around you and more deserving of attention and admiration than anyone else. But what happens when you meet someone who feels the same way?

When two narcissists meet, you might expect them to engage in fierce competition as they fight for the attention they so desperately need, but that’s not always the case.

In many cases, narcissists feel an immediate attraction to each other. In fact, some would say they flock together like birds of a feather!

As the relationship develops, it will develop into an intricate dance of egos where the rules of engagement are anything but ordinary.

Who is the right person for a narcissist?

You might expect a narcissist to be drawn to someone who is easy to manipulate and willing to give them the attention and admiration they desire, but that’s not the case.

Narcissists tend not only to be attracted to strong, confident people, but they also love other narcissists.

Psychologists at the University of Warsaw in Poland have found that narcissists tend to enter into romantic relationships with people who score high on the narcissistic spectrum.

This pattern of engagement is known as selective mating and means that “narcissists seek out potential partners who are similar to themselves—that is, who are oriented toward the self rather than toward others.”

This doesn’t mean that narcissists only date each other, but that they are more likely to be attracted to those with similar traits.

Other studies have produced similar results, with one finding that narcissists are happier with “trophy” partners and “place greater importance on the physical attractiveness and status of potential partners” than non-narcissists.

Narcissists naturally gravitate toward people who make them feel good about themselves, and they often target people who have qualities they envy.

They are drawn to success, confidence, good looks, and popularity, but only as long as they need to destroy those qualities.

According to one therapist, this is either because they “feel special through association, or they feel powerful in defeating someone who seems mentally, physically, or emotionally strong.”

Since narcissists focus so much on their appearance and image, it makes sense that they would be drawn to each other. After all, two bright, shiny people will look better together than apart.

What Happens When a Narcissist Meets Their Match?

A few things happen when a narcissist meets their match, starting with an immediate attraction and forming a strong duo.

Later, things may become less harmonious, leading to power struggles or, sometimes, presenting an opportunity for change for both narcissists.

Like Attracts Like

When a narcissist meets their match, they may feel drawn to their good looks, confidence, and charisma.

When a narcissist looks at another narcissist, they feel a connection and may even recognize the traits they find attractive in the other person as traits they themselves possess.

Narcissists get their name from Narcissus, the character in Greek mythology who fell in love with her own reflection.

This is how narcissists feel when they fall in love with each other. Instead of falling in love with the other person, they fall in love with themselves when they see themselves reflected in the other person.

But the mirroring effect has a flip side; narcissists can feel unsettled when they see their manipulative strategies reflected back at them.

This interaction can be positive if the narcissist responds by confronting and reflecting on their behavior.

ThePerfectPower Couple

Narcissists are attracted to partners who mirror their ideal self-image, so what happens when two narcissists get together?

When two narcissists get together, they see themselves as the perfect couple—or the most powerful of power couples.

Each believes they have found someone who fully appreciates their brilliance, beauty, or success, reinforcing their sense of superiority and worthiness of worship.

As a couple, they constantly prove and reinforce each other’s greatness.

Each feeds the other’s need for constant praise and admiration, whether through social media posts showcasing their lavish lifestyles or public displays of affection to show off their seemingly enviable relationship.

Power couples are acutely aware of their public image. They appear confident and successful and enjoy the attention and envy they receive from others.

Powerful narcissistic couples may also engage in manipulative behaviors together, using their combined charm and charisma to influence others to their advantage.

They may form alliances to further their shared goals or protect their image from perceived threats.

Being part of a power couple also provides a sense of protection. Couples can use each other as shields against attacks on their ego or self-esteem.

If one partner faces criticism, the other is likely to step in and fiercely defend them, strengthening their bond and sense of loyalty.

While this type of relationship may appear to be a power couple on the surface, it can be fraught with internal conflict and insecurity.

The constant need for external validation and competition reveals that the couple’s bond is based more on appearance than on true emotional connection.

Ultimately, their relationship may be sustained by an illusion of power and grandeur rather than mutual respect and support.

Power Couples Turn into a Power Struggle

While two narcissists can have a successful relationship, in most cases, the need to be the best will disrupt the dynamics of their relationship, leading to power struggles that can destroy the ideal image.

While two narcissists may rely on each other for the validation and ego boost they need, it’s only a matter of time before competition begins.

Sharing the spotlight becomes too stifling after a while, and each narcissist within the power couple will want to shine brighter and be more dominant than the other.

In their quest for superiority, narcissists may engage in behaviors designed to outdo each other. If one celebrates their recent promotion on social media, the other may try to take credit for it.

Let’s look at an example:

The first narcissist writes: “I had to share this great news with you all. I worked so hard, and today, I finally got promoted to Senior Vice President at XYZ Company! It’s a dream come true, and I couldn’t be happier!”

The second narcissist comments: “Honey, you’ve made it! I always knew my influence and connections would open doors for you!”

In this scenario, the first narcissist proudly announces her promotion on social media, attributing her success to her hard work and determination.

However, her partner quickly takes credit for her accomplishments, claiming that his power and influence provided the opportunity.

This type of power struggle can go both ways—it can become a mutual dance of admiration where both partners reinforce their image as a “power couple” by asserting their influence, guidance, and support for each other, or it can lead to conflict.

Instead of supporting and congratulating each other, two narcissists may end up competing to prove their worth and influence, turning what should be a moment of celebration into a battleground for egos.

Their interactions on social media demonstrate their need for validation and their desire to be recognized as the more dominant and influential partner.

It becomes clear that their relationship is built on competition and self-importance rather than genuine support and love.

A Catalyst for Change

Although most relationships between narcissists are superficial and based on appearances rather than a connection of minds and souls, there are occasions when they can be a catalyst for change.

On rare occasions, when a narcissist meets someone who demonstrates a deep understanding of their condition, it can lead to unexpected collaboration and healing.

This unique connection allows for mutual exploration of the underlying wounds and insecurities that drive the narcissist’s behavior.

The encounter becomes an opportunity for both parties to embark on a journey of self-awareness, personal growth, and healing.

Having someone who can compassionately confront the narcissist’s defenses can create a transformative dynamic that challenges the narcissist to change his or her ways. The experience becomes a turning point, motivating the narcissist to seek treatment or address his or her destructive patterns. The encounter becomes a powerful catalyst for personal transformation and growth.

What Happens When One Narcissist Meets Another?

Have you ever tried to imagine what happens when two narcissists meet?

If you have, you might envision a fierce rivalry and battle of egos, but you couldn’t be further from the truth. Narcissists are surprisingly tolerant of other narcissists and are often drawn to them.

Narcissists are very similar and are drawn to each other’s confidence, appearance, and status.

They have similar expectations and feed off each other, using each other to gain attention and admiration and not caring that they lack empathy for each other.

Not only that, narcissists are also more accepting of narcissistic traits that others find off-putting and will tolerate arrogance, selfishness, vanity, and lack of empathy more willingly than others.

Are Narcissists Compatible With Each Other?

Although narcissists are often impatient and dismissive of others they see as inferior, they are surprisingly tolerant of other narcissists.

According to a study by psychologist Ulrike Maas and colleagues at Humboldt University in Berlin (2016), “friends of narcissists are narcissists themselves.”

Friends of narcissists have many things in common. They share the same lifestyles and protective strategies to prevent their vulnerabilities from coming to light.

They may develop an “us versus them” mentality that reinforces each other’s low self-esteem while undermining those who display non-narcissistic traits.

Other studies show that narcissists are more accepting of narcissistic traits in others and more likely to tolerate people who are selfish, aggressive, arrogant, or self-centered than non-narcissists.