Recently, one of my close friends dumped a narcissist, and he was ready for it.
Just like he did with his former friends, he went up to everyone and told his own “version” of what happened. He conveniently ignored all the abuse, the fact that he sexually assaulted my girlfriend, and the fact that he cheated on her.
However, unlike his previous relationships, people actually witnessed what he did to her. His mask fell, and with it we learned together what happens when people realize that a “good guy” is actually an abusive narcissist.
Related: 8 Ways To Deal With A Malignant Narcissist — The Most Evil Type Of Narcissist
This is what eventually happens to narcissists when people realize who they are.
1. People who saw what happened began to avoid the narcissist.
My ex really showed his true colors when he was at a party with her. He started berating her, treating her like chattel, and even hitting others in front of her.
All his friends had to leave the party because they were so uncomfortable and shocked by his behavior. This was also the moment my friend left him.
2. The narcissist decides to do damage control.
This started with her blaming me and her other friends for the breakup. Anything he could say was said to stretch the truth, and he even recruited people who weren’t “in the know” to help him date others down there.
It looks like the narcissist is going to win, but…
3. The people who actually witnessed it all, as well as the victims, set the record straight.
This is where damage control really backfired. Others who actually saw things go down stepped up to say what happened.
Once this mask falls, you can’t lift it back up. The more explosive the narcissist is, the worse the reaction.
4. The narcissist begins to panic now that his narcissistic stock has failed.
This is what’s referred to as a “narcissistic breakdown,” and is something that typically happens when a narcissistic person “doesn’t get the external validation they believe they deserve,” according to PsychCentral.
In a situation where everyone realizes they are narcissistic abusers and victims cut off contact with them, their ability to obtain the approval, praise, and control they crave collapses. When this happens, an intense emotional outburst will follow.
5. The narcissist becomes desperate.
Praise and control are the go-tos for someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), the things that fuel them and continue to help them in their behavior.
What we saw happen was a desperate push for attention, approval and praise. Her ex-husband was having a breakdown and was begging people to say they still loved him.
Related: Confessions Of A Recovering Narcissist
6. Despair makes people uncomfortable, and even new people stay away from them.
It’s truly annoying to watch a narcissist have so little display. Narcissists are never happy people per se, but they are certainly absolutely miserable at this point.
According to Dr. Alexander Laba, a psychiatrist at Ocean Recovery Center in Blackpool, UK, a narcissist’s facade of confidence and superiority crumbles when they are unable to obtain validation.
7. Despite all this, the narcissist sees himself as the victim.
This is the point where he will start crying about the injustice he suffered because he did not get what he wanted. They cannot see their behavior as bad because it is always a “special situation” with them.
According to research, this is referred to as “narcissistic rage.” The narcissist will lash out at others, act vindictively, and react with violent actions or words.
8. The narcissist may also begin to panic about his or her lackluster appearance.
My ex-boyfriend has reached his mid-30s, and for people who eat, sleep, and breathe the nightlife, that’s old. He’s getting wrinkles and losing hair, and since he used to be known as a pretty boy, he’s really not feeling good about it.
It actually doesn’t help that he displays the “youthful façade” he constantly tries to project, which leads to lower levels of narcissistic behavior.
9. In extreme forms, the narcissist may end up becoming a complete outcast.
This is what’s happening to my ex-boyfriend, and it’s slowly getting to the point where any social presence of his is coming to an end.
It’s hard to want to be around someone who you know has hurt your friends so badly, and that’s exactly what was happening to him. Word spreads, and eventually the truth will come out.
The same study above showed that this low level of narcissism that came as a result of a breakup would eventually lead to mental health struggles, including loneliness.
10. From what we’ve heard from others, it seems that most narcissists end up angry, bitter, and lonely.
When others realize who the narcissist is, the narcissistic charm that so easily won over their friends becomes less effective. They are abandoned by those closest to them, which leads to the above conditions, eventually relegating them to places of loneliness.
What happens to the narcissist in the end?
Studies show that narcissists don’t win in the end. Older narcissists, in particular, suffer the consequences of their actions as people learn who they are.
The increase in emotional intelligence from others surrounding the person with BPD causes them to disconnect from themselves, leaving the narcissist to suffer the consequences alone.
#Does the condition of narcissists get worse with age?
Aging narcissists have a lower level of narcissism as they continue to age, but this may not be a good thing for them. The damage is often already done, and research shows that suicide rates for these affected groups increase with age.
If you are dealing with an older narcissist, it is important to remember that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness, and that when dealing with it, you must remain empathetic and learn to let go of grudges, while setting clear boundaries until you are able to do so. To deal with them rationally
