Being in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) puts you in the crosshairs of harmful mental and emotional effects. When you gain the courage to break up, it’s important to know what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship so you can handle the breakup safely.
NPD involves self-centered behavior. Narcissists expect constant admiration and attention and lack empathy for others.
If this sounds like someone you know and love, you already know that their behavior can be very difficult to deal with.
Related: YIKES: The Toxic Relationship Between A Narcissist And An Empath
When you’re in this type of abusive relationship, it’s easy to fall into the trap of manipulation, confusion, anger, and shame.
As a result, it takes a lot of strength to leave.
However, when the time comes that you have to stop and get out of the relationship, it may feel like the world is falling apart.
However, your decision to leave a narcissist behind is a valid one.
To prepare you for what their reaction might look like, here’s what to expect when breaking up with a narcissist.
#What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship:
1. They will get angry
First and foremost, the narcissist is looking to blame you for everything that went wrong. They refuse to see their role in anything.
A common toxic trait of narcissists is their high sensitivity and inability to accept criticism. It is quickly viewed as a personal attack or threat against them, and anyone who points out their flaws will be subject to wrath.
He will be very angry that you chose to end the relationship. It’s safe to assume that he will use foul language and belittle your efforts to break up with him.
2. They will try to make you feel guilty
These master manipulators will stop at nothing to get their way. Since they can’t admit when they’re wrong, they’ll make sure to tell you.
He will try to make you feel guilty about breaking up with him. There is a possibility that he might cry as a way to stir up emotions in you and get you to change your mind.
A narcissist may remind you of nice things he has done for you, express his feelings for you, and tell you how much he cares about you.
It’s just a tactic to influence you in a different direction than the one you were going in.
Related: The Hard Truths I Learned About Life & Love From Dating A Narcissist
3. They will make empty promises
At this point, the trip of belittlement and guilt has not worked, so he will likely continue to promise change. However, it is a rash reaction to what is happening at the moment.
He is only focused on getting out of the current situation and will not keep his promises. He will quickly charm you with his promises to do what you ask and change his behavior.
Even if you decide to take him back, the things he promised won’t come true in the end. It’s his way of telling you what you want to hear while maintaining control.
4. They will demand your attention
The narcissist’s main concern is himself. They want you to give them all your attention to keep you close.
Since they ultimately feel rejected at the end of the relationship, they see that the only way to get you back is to reclaim your attention.
Some attention-grabbing behaviors might be multiple text messages in one day, constant pleas to explain why you want to leave, and phone calls in the middle of the night.
5. They will try to convince you that you made a mistake
Similar to the way he acted when he tried to force you to stay, he will let you know that he disagrees with your decision and tell you that it is wrong.
His words are likely to be very harsh and confusion may set in as you begin to believe what he says. The narcissist is good at convincing you that he is right.
If you spend a lot of time with this person, it may be difficult to extricate yourself from everything you’ve been told. He knows this and can manipulate you into accepting that you are responsible.
When ending a relationship with a narcissist, don’t trust the things he says and does.
It is very difficult to talk to narcissists, of all people, about their behavior. Any negative swipe towards their personality is sure to raise an eyebrow in them.
If you start listening to their reaction and let it change your decision, they will return to full control.
Breaking up with a narcissist must be done gently and clearly.
Know that you have the strength to finish things and get back on your feet. They are not as necessary in your life as I have led you to believe.
Tips for ending a relationship with a narcissist:
1. Get support from friends and family
After being in a long-term relationship with a narcissist, you may have alienated friends and family. However, you will need it now more than ever.
It will be helpful to have people around you who know the situation and can see it more clearly than you can. They will also hold you accountable for ending the relationship.
2. Cut off all communications
The easiest way for a narcissist to attract you back is to make you more accessible.
