The older you get, the more you appreciate and value the feeling of a good bedtime.

Your days are stressful—full of work, self-care, and family—so the moment you go to bed is the moment you can forget about it all and enjoy a good night’s sleep.

If you’re a narcissist, bedtime doesn’t look like it does for us normal people.

It can even be as stressful and strange as the rest of their day.

But what does that look like?

Let’s see.

Time To Relax…

Bedtime is beautiful, isn’t it? The sun sets, the stars appear, and the small lamp by your bedside lights up as you prepare to rest your weary head from your busy day.

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You want peace and quiet, and trust me, you deserve it.

Narcissists, on the other hand, don’t deserve peace. Perhaps that’s why, subconsciously, they like to stay up late and continue their quest to create conflict before you even close your eyes.

What can you expect from the narcissist you know after work?

Repeated Conversations

Narcissists don’t care how often they say it; they try to keep the conversation going, driving you crazy.

Things like:

Don’t you want to talk about this more?

Why doesn’t it seem important?

Time doesn’t matter.

I just want you to listen to me.

We shouldn’t go to sleep until we discuss this.

I can’t believe you just want to roll over and fall asleep.

Aren’t I important to you?

Reading these phrases is exhausting, isn’t it?

I know I’ve been exhausted since morning, and I’m the one writing them, not the one experiencing them!

If a narcissist is looking to start and sustain a conversation, they’ll find a convenient time; they do it before bed. For us sane people, yes, it’s weird.

For them, they just want to make you feel like you’re losing your mind.

Social Media: Quick Scroll

Lie down, turn off the lights, snuggle up under the covers, and scroll through social media.

Before you say it, I know we’re all guilty of late-night scrolling, even if it’s not wise to do so.

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This isn’t it.

This is looking at the profiles of people you know to see what they’re missing.

Looking for likes and comments; anything at all to feel like they’re in the loop.

It seems weird to me, but it makes sense that a narcissist would end their day keeping their distance from others.

If they don’t know everything, they won’t feel in control of people and situations.

Personally, I don’t even know the point of this; most of what you see on social media is exaggerated lies anyway!

Night Time Texts Or Calls

You need to check in on that person. That important person. You must send a text message or arrange a call to pick up the person they want to destroy for the night.

A call or message from a narcissist can trigger anxiety, panic, fear, or stress.

If you’re unlucky, it’s all of the above.

A narcissist needs to feel like they’re doing something to boost their self-esteem.

They will contact anyone they know will respond or listen, just so they can express their feelings or connect. This is all contrived, and the conversation is likely to be as superficial as possible.

That’s part of it, isn’t it?

Talking to a narcissist doesn’t lead to anything deeper, but that doesn’t mean they can’t completely make your life miserable.

Hint: If you have a narcissist in your life, add them to your “Do Not Disturb” list.

Even better, archive their messages, hide them, and put your phone on airplane mode about an hour before bed.

That way, you won’t be surprised before bed.

You need your sleep, and they need to understand the limits of words.

Wake Up And Plan

Who am I playing with tomorrow?

Whose heart am I breaking?

Where can I inject a little anxiety?

I wonder what so-and-so would do if I started sneaking around and ruining that friendship?

Aren’t these thoughts really on my mind? Narcissists can’t just suddenly fall asleep and drift into a deep, restful sleep.

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Pre-thinking may seem exhausting, but for them, it’s their job.

They have to be proactive and think of ways they can change your behavior, feelings, or thoughts.

It’s a constant cycle that keeps swirling around, even when you think things are calm and normal (for a brief moment, they feel like they are).

Planning is real, and it can feel like a death knell when they execute their plans.

But make no mistake—these plans always have a motive behind them.

Block Love From The Bad Person

The best thing in the world is sleeping next to the one you love.

Knowing you’re sharing your life with someone who makes you feel special and loved is what we all want to live for.

How lucky would it be to wake up the next morning with them, start a new day, and write a new story with them?

If you’re with a narcissist, you won’t really know what all this means (even though you really want to).

They don’t show all this kindness and warmth before bed. Can you imagine them being so giving with their feelings? This will never happen!

What you’ll get instead is a cold, intentional kiss. Sometimes it’s accompanied by a sigh, or “I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

Other times, if you try to start a bedtime conversation about your day, you might hear, “Why do you always do this before bed? Why won’t you let me sleep?”

The hug you want is met with disapproving looks. The intimacy you try to initiate is also rejected.

You feel confused, and you ask yourself why.

Related : You Are Not Crazy, You Are Dealing With A Narcissist

The answer is obvious.

Narcissists act strangely, but for them, they have their reasons. They just want to sleep.

In fact, they’re giving you a reason to fall asleep while you’re feeling anxious again.

It’s not fair!

You wake up with the same familiar thoughts:

What did I do wrong?

Why don’t they want to get close to me?

Why are they so fed up with me all the time?

What can I do to make them react more positively?

Am I no longer attractive?

Why do they alternate between enthusiasm and coldness?

I can’t sleep.

I can’t stop my thoughts.

No wonder! All these thoughts running through your head will never let you sleep!

You can blame the narcissist for that.

Their plan to disrupt your nervous system right before bed has worked.

Again.