The older you get, the more you appreciate and value the feeling of a good bedtime.

Your days are stressful—full of work, self-care, and family—so the moment you go to bed is the moment you can forget about it all and enjoy a good night’s sleep.

If you’re a narcissist, bedtime doesn’t look like it does for us normal people.

It can even be as stressful and strange as the rest of their day.

But what does that look like?

Let’s see.

Time To Relax…

Bedtime is beautiful, isn’t it? The sun sets, the stars appear, and the small lamp by your bedside lights up as you prepare to rest your weary head from your busy day.

Related : How Do You Break Up With a Narcissist?

You want peace and quiet, and trust me, you deserve it.

Narcissists, on the other hand, don’t deserve peace. Perhaps that’s why, subconsciously, they like to stay up late and continue their quest to create conflict before you even close your eyes.

What can you expect from the narcissist you know after work?

Repeated Conversations

Narcissists don’t care how often they say it; they try to keep the conversation going, driving you crazy.

Things like:

Don’t you want to talk about this more?

Why doesn’t it seem important?

Time doesn’t matter.

I just want you to listen to me.

We shouldn’t go to sleep until we discuss this.

I can’t believe you just want to roll over and fall asleep.

Aren’t I important to you?

Reading these phrases is exhausting, isn’t it?

I know I’ve been exhausted since morning, and I’m the one writing them, not the one experiencing them!

If a narcissist is looking to start and sustain a conversation, they’ll find a convenient time; they do it before bed. For us sane people, yes, it’s weird.

For them, they just want to make you feel like you’re losing your mind.

Social Media: Quick Scroll

Lie down, turn off the lights, snuggle up under the covers, and scroll through social media.

Before you say it, I know we’re all guilty of late-night scrolling, even if it’s not wise to do so.

Related : Why Are Narcissists Emotionally Cold?

This isn’t it.

This is looking at the profiles of people you know to see what they’re missing.

Looking for likes and comments; anything at all to feel like they’re in the loop.

It seems weird to me, but it makes sense that a narcissist would end their day keeping their distance from others.

If they don’t know everything, they won’t feel in control of people and situations.

Personally, I don’t even know the point of this; most of what you see on social media is exaggerated lies anyway!

Night Time Texts Or Calls

You need to check in on that person. That important person. You should send a text or arrange a call to pick up someone they want to destroy for the night.

A call or message from a narcissist can trigger anxiety, panic, fear, or stress.

If you’re unlucky, it’s all of the above.

A narcissist needs to feel like they’re doing something to boost their self-esteem.

They’ll contact anyone they know will respond or listen, just so they can express their feelings or connect. It’s all contrived, and the conversation is often as superficial as possible.

That’s part of it, isn’t it?

Nothing deeper than a conversation with a narcissist doesn’t produce anything, but that doesn’t mean they’re completely incapable of making your life miserable.

Hint: If you have a narcissist in your life, add them to your “Do Not Disturb” list.

Better yet, archive their messages, hide them, and turn on airplane mode on your phone about an hour before bed.

That way, you won’t be surprised before bed.

You need your sleep, and they need to understand the limits of words.

Wake Up Wake Up And Plan

Who can I play with tomorrow?

Whose heart can I break?

Where can I inject a little anxiety?

I wonder what so-and-so would do if I started sneaking around and ruining that friendship? Isn’t it touching to have these thoughts? Narcissists can’t just fall asleep and fall into a deep sleep.

Related : These 8 Things Make Covert Narcissists So Dangerous

Constantly thinking about the future may seem exhausting, but for them, it’s their job.

They have to be proactive, thinking of ways to change your behavior, feelings, or thoughts.

It’s a constant cycle that keeps swirling around, even when you think things are calm and normal (for the brief moment they feel like they are).

Planning is real, and it can feel like a surprise when they carry out their plans.

But make no mistake—these plans always have a motive behind them.

Blocking Love From The Unlucky Person

The most beautiful thing in the world is sleeping next to the one you love.

To feel like you’re sharing your life with someone who makes you feel special and loved is something we all desire.

How lucky would it be to wake up the next morning with them, start a new day, and write a new story with them?

If you’re with a narcissist, you won’t really know how it feels (even though you really want to).

They don’t reciprocate all this warmth and affection before bed. Can you imagine them being so giving with their feelings? It’s impossible!

What you get instead is a deliberately cold kiss. Sometimes it’s accompanied by a sigh, or by saying, “I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

Other times, if you try to start a short conversation about your day before bed, you might hear, “Why do you always do this before bed? Why won’t you let me sleep in?” The hug you want is met with disapproving looks. The intimacy you try to initiate is also rejected.

Related : 6 Big Mistakes People Make When Dealing With Covert Narcissists

You feel confused, and you ask yourself why.

The answer is clear.

The narcissist is weird, but for them, they have their reasons. They just want to sleep.

In fact, they give you a reason to sleep, and you’re feeling anxious again.

This isn’t fair!

You wake up with the same familiar thoughts:

What did I do wrong?

Why don’t they want to get close to me?

Why are they so quick with me all the time?

What can I do to make them react more positively?

Am I not attractive anymore?

Why are they so moody?

I can’t sleep.

I can’t stop thinking.

No wonder! All these thoughts running through your head won’t help you sleep at all!

You can blame the weird narcissist for this.

Their plan to disrupt your nervous system right before bedtime has worked.

Again.