Your medical information is your business. You have a history of yourself, your experiences, and any health issues or challenges you’ve faced.
We all have medical information.
When you disclose your medical information to a narcissist, it’s in their hands.
They’ll use it in ways you never thought possible, and the pain can be excruciating.
I’ll warn you: it’s going to get ugly. But everything I tell you is yours.
What’s Private Should Be Private
It’s annoying, right?
There’s nothing about a narcissist that doesn’t annoy.
It’s pretty scary to think that a narcissist is taking a huge amount of vulnerable, private information about you and trying to use it all to their advantage.
If you meet the right person, you can trust that your medical information stays between the two of you.
What’s the point of sharing it? I don’t want you to think that they’re going around telling everyone what they have about you—but that, as you’ll soon learn, is a strong possibility, too.
Related : 7 Bizarre Ways Narcissists Act Around Pregnant Women
No.
Narcissists are much more cunning than that.
They don’t have to blabbermouth about you to the world if they can be more cunning, cunning, and secretive.
“I’m taking care of you now”
So, first we have the most weighty statement.
If you get sick, or have a history of health challenges, the narcissist will ride in on his white horse and announce that he will now be your primary caregiver.
Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.
I promise I’ll take care of you.
Yes—promises are perfect at first. Thank goodness they’re there for you, and they’ll help you.
Your heart melts a little, as you feel a palpable sense of relief. You’re ready to be cared for.
Except that narcissists and nurturing don’t go together in the same sentence.
So, you have a false promise (and a big promise, too), with no follow-through.
It’s a way for the narcissist to feel in control, and if their help dwindles, as it inevitably will, they’ll feel insulted when you ask for something.
Am I not doing enough for you?
What do you want now?
I did it for you last week.
I get it. I’m clearly not doing my best.
How dare you assume I don’t care!
This could get ugly. And then what? You back away from your requests for help, so you end up suffering even more as a result.
Related : NEVER Let A Narcissist Know These Things About Your Childhood
They don’t care about your health information, but they will use it against you to reiterate that they are the real victim in this.
This is disgusting!
“All I do is take care of you”
It’s like it’s a never-ending task, they can’t wiggle their way out of it – their caring nature is very limited. They won’t go out of their way for you if it means they have to put you before themselves.
This is where things get tricky because, on the flip side, they will rush to help and support you if there is an audience.
In front of those watching, they will want to appear as the caring spouse/friend/family member.
But they will watch you lay on the floor and tell you that you’re interrupting their day if it bothers them that much (and I assure you it will).
“Are you sure you can?”
It’s not beyond the purview of any narcissist to question your ability to do anything.
They’ll trick you into oblivion if they can, and they do.
Let’s clear this up a bit.
Your medical notes don’t mean you can’t do anything at all.
Yes, for some, this means having to meet a care plan or thinking of ways to self-soothe or relieve pain. Whatever that may be, but…
It’s not.
It’s the assumption that because you have a medical history, you can’t do anything.
Not only is this the usual narrative that narcissists use, they actually have a very solid, concrete excuse for perpetuating this narrative.
Related : 20 Affirmations For Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
Well, you’re sick. You can’t do it.
I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it, sick and all.
Are you sure you’re up for it?
Continuously questioning you in the name of caring while you agree to back out of errands or tasks is a sly and weird way to act.
“I don’t think you’re well enough”
Oh yeah. Of course. Because you can’t handle anything…
Similar to the previous point, narcissists will go a step further and tell you that you’re not well enough to do something if they see in your medical notes a reason to keep you from doing what you want to do.
You’re tired.
You’ve had a long day.
Your back might start to hurt again.
You can’t lift it.
You know how your stress levels can rise.
Nothing is stopping you if they’re safe and capable. It’s not about a protective, caring spouse trying to step in and help or offer advice.
See also 9 Reasons Why Narcissists Make You Think You’re Not Good Enough
This prevents you from doing anything for yourself, and robs you of your independence in the process.
“Do you need more meds?”
Never tell someone they need more medication just because they’ve been acting in a way you don’t like.
This is extremely abusive, not to mention dangerous.
The way a narcissist can step in and tell you that you’re acting out to the point where they question your medication is not their business.
Related : What Narcissists Will Never Admit About Their Past
Your relationship with your doctor is strong, and anything like this should be discussed appropriately.
This is something that narcissists should never control.
“You don’t know what you’re saying. It’s your illness talking”
Your illness, whatever it is that’s happening to you, your body or your mind – none of this is up for debate.
While you may have good days and bad days, no one should ever suggest that you don’t know what you’re talking about.
It’s fair to say that all narcissists love to manipulate, and if this person in your life is trying to do the same to you, I’m telling you right now, there’s no need to.
Related : Things Narcissists Will Never Tell You About Their Fears
Your illness doesn’t talk. Again, this strongly suggests that the narcissist wants to control you by changing or discussing your medication.
They know that if you take a little more of this or a little less of that, you will be more manageable and easier to handle.
