When emotions are high, it can be difficult to understand the differences between unhealthy relationships and healthy relationships. Whether we realize it or not, the way we navigate relationships often depends on our upbringing and our unconscious beliefs about ourselves. Sometimes, if parent personalities don’t show us examples of healthy relationships while we’re growing up, we may struggle to recognize them in adulthood. It’s not your fault the foundation of healthy relationships has not been clarified for you, but you can educate yourself and work towards recognizing this fact.
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Do you understand the true meaning of open communication, and can you recognize when boundaries are crossed in a relationship? You are far from alone if you are worried that you have missed the signs of a toxic relationship. Let’s cover what makes relationships sustainable, loving, and worthwhile, and instead, behaviors that will only hurt you.
Unhealthy relationships
The following are characteristic signs of an unhealthy or dysfunctional relationship. Often, people who are stuck in complicated relationships need to see the traits written on the page so that they can recognize them in their own lives. Denial can be a powerful factor in these types of relationships, and gaslight partners themselves into believing everything is okay when it’s far from OK.
Controlling behaviors
Controlling behavior can be difficult to identify and often escalates as the relationship develops. Is your partner happy to be independent and independent, or is this a reason for conflict and stress? Toxic individuals may find subtle ways to prevent their partner from spending time with family and friends or resort to emotional abuse tactics such as silent therapies or passive aggression if they feel out of control over every aspect of their partner’s life.
Controlling individuals will try to convince their partner that limiting their usual activities is for their greater good, prompting the partner to feel ashamed if he does not comply with the unhealthily imposed rules.
Insecurity
Even the most confident people can have nagging fears or things about themselves that they would like to be different. The crucial foundation of healthy relationships is that your partner does not aggravate insecure pain points but accepts and calms them with love that does not come with circumstances. A good relationship should make you feel satisfied, happy, and fulfilled with yourself and your lover.
Like most types of abuse, it can start slowly and be malicious. Is your partner making subtle digs about your weight or undermining aspects of your innate personality? After a while, it’s hard to ignore the growing contempt just below the surface.
Dishonesty of trust
Honest communication is at the heart of all healthy partnerships. Trust disappears immediately if you suspect that your partner is lying about certain things or is deceiving. A strange white lie does not hurt, but pathological dishonesty is a bargain.
People often lie if they lack the emotional maturity to know how to handle a situation. Young children behave similarly because they have not yet developed adult tools for open communication and transparency. Dealing with a partner you suspect is lying will shatter your emotional health and undermine your self-confidence. Lies prevent true intimacy and put an uncomfortable strain on the relationship dynamic.
Healthy relationships
It can be difficult to have balanced relationships and not everyone acknowledges it. Unhealthy vs. healthy relationships show up very differently, however, and are easy to spot once you know the signs. Most of us crave unconditional love, but unfortunately, not everyone can provide this basic foundation for healthy relationships.
Mutual respect
In healthy relationships, there is a silent understanding and respect for each other’s similarities and differences, likes and dislikes. You understand your partner’s valuable contributions to the relationship and empathize with things they may find difficult.
Mutual respect is as simple as treating your significant other the way you want and putting yourself in their shoes. This means being polite, and thoughtful and not undermining your partner’s trust. Sometimes you have to be willing to agree to disagree on specific topics, but you do it without hesitation because you are eager to work through things out of care and love.
Individuality
Are you a person who requires a lot of time alone, while your partner is more outgoing and gregarious? Well, both personality traits are fine. Boundaries in a relationship indicate respect, and you understand that you are separate from each other, each with your own distinct identity, interests, and ideas.
The beauty of individuality is what makes us attractive to a partner. People’s unique personalities keep partners endlessly curious and eager to reveal the innermost parts of their psyche.
Open communication
Finally, and arguably the most important, is open honest communication. The foundation of all healthy relationships, open communication means being able to talk to your partner effectively and transparently about almost everything. There are no guessing games, misunderstandings, or walking on eggshells. You are on the same page most of the time and have a common sense of knowledge. Most importantly, you never have to worry about discussions escalating into arguments due to the unhealthy emotional mood of the partner.
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Open communication is the cornerstone of compatibility, happiness, and longevity. Many people waste years trying to force their partner to understand them or open up to them sincerely. If someone is capable of genuine and honest communication, they will show and prove it to you early on in the relationship.
Final thoughts on unhealthy vs healthy relationships
Many people miss the red flags that pop up again and again in unhealthy romantic relationships because they don’t know anything better. We can be conditioned from childhood to accept emotional abuse as a norm and not to demand boundaries in a relationship, often as we subconsciously think this is the version of the so-called love that we deserve.
The basis of healthy relationships is first of all to have a good relationship with yourself and your soul. Check out 5 ways to increase your self-love to learn more about it. When you have an honest connection with yourself, you will be able to transfer this balanced trait into your love life. When you love yourself unconditionally, things like controlling behaviors, when boundaries are crossed in a relationship, and dishonesty are recognized immediately. These works are no longer red flags but dealbreakers that the signal should be turned on to exit.
