In order to understand narcissistic behavior, you must have met someone who suffers from the said disease, have seen it with your own eyes; otherwise, you wouldn’t believe it if someone told you what they can do to get their way.
People with narcissistic personality disorder consider themselves extremely arrogant; They lack empathy for others and have an excessive need for admiration.
They believe that they deserve special treatment and that they are the best at what they do.
These characteristics do not appear until late, when a person reaches adulthood, becomes sexually mature, and is ready to begin married life.
At first, the problem is not obvious, because a person with narcissistic personality disorder does not need to share anything with others.
In fact it is, but only with your family, and there is a real difference between family life and married life.
When one is involved in a relationship, one should be able to find compromises, and share one’s fears and deepest secrets with the one they love.
The narcissist is unable to do this. The narcissist is unable to show compassion or care for anyone other than himself.
These people think they are very special in every possible way and look for people who, on the contrary, do not think they are special in any way.
It’s a way to feed their ego and self-esteem, which is usually very low beneath the surface.
They cannot take criticism and need people who have high respect for them.
If you do the opposite, they will punish you because you insulted and threatened what they value most – themselves.
The best I can hope for you is to never encounter a narcissist, but unfortunately, many of us are not so lucky and end up fighting the darkness they have plunged us into.
For your well-being, you must learn how to spot and deal with a narcissist: their tactics, survival techniques after being abused by a narcissist, as well as how to avoid them.
Find and deal with the narcissist
In general, narcissists are not difficult to spot.
The real problem arises when you meet a dangerous narcissist, the one who disguises himself, the one who simply pretends to be a good guy until you fall deeply in love with him and he draws you into his net, leaving you no room to maneuver. Completely at his mercy alone.
It’s always the same story. At first, everything is fine.
You feel so lucky that you have finally found the man of your dreams, the one who loves you and would go to the ends of the earth for you.
You even feel a little guilty for feeling such great happiness. But it doesn’t last long. After a while, his true identity resurfaced.
The mask falls. The honeymoon is over, and he’s starting to do things that annoy you.
He is trying to manipulate and control you but you do not give him much importance because we all make mistakes and no one is perfect.
So you ignore all the annoying things that happen. In fact, you are only fooling yourself.
Soon you will find yourself trapped in a narcissistic hell, with no way out.
As I said before, not all narcissists are the same. Some are instantly recognizable, but others (such as the “happy narcissist”) can only be understood if you have encountered them previously.
They were able to take you on the boat because they are so much fun to be with.
They are charismatic, have a great sense of humor and are generally great.
They will brainwash you long before you discover that it’s all just a bunch of lies. They will turn you into something you wished you never became.
To prevent this from happening to you, read carefully what are the signs that help you recognize and deal with a narcissistic person.
- He is the most important person in his eyes
He only talks about him. Obviously, this is the best way to spot a narcissist. Do a simple test.
If you are out and about and a guy comes up to you and starts talking to you, don’t say much at first.
If this does not seem to bother him, and above all, if he only talks about it, it is because you have certainly come across the “happy narcissist” type, the type that is difficult to detect.
He won’t listen to a word you have to say, and if you feel otherwise, don’t be fooled. He’s just looking for words that will allow him to continue talking about it.
what should be done? It’s good that you saw the warning signs of a narcissist before it was too late.
If you really can’t escape the conversation, let him talk as much as he wants, that’s his starting point anyway (just listen to yourself talking about it) and pretend to listen.
While you’re doing this, try to find a way out and seize the first opportunity you get, run like crazy and don’t turn around!
- He gets angry when he is injured
We all get angry, but not crazy. But this is what happens to him and he cannot control himself.
In general, he is only sad when one of his projects collapses, because as I said before, narcissists do not feel empathy for others and are therefore unable to see or understand the suffering of others.
He will try to make you responsible for all his failures and somehow he will succeed.
what should be done? The first thing you should do is never let it get into your head.
Do not allow him to hold you accountable for things you did not do.
This is called gaslighting (a form of mental abuse) and this is what he is trying to do to you. He’s trying to make you believe things that never happened.
He is trying to make you believe that you are the crazy one and one day you will end up trusting him completely because you will no longer believe in your own judgment.
The only thing to do in this type of situation is to threaten to leave and then really leave.
This will take it out of its joints because no one has the right to leave it and it is extremely important.
However, that is what you will come to do. You just have to find the strength to stand up to him so he can’t hurt you anymore.
- He never respects the rules
It’s very important for grammar. He has the impression that the rules do not apply to him because it is better than having something force him to write or dictate something else.
He feels like a man capable of living by his own rules.
He also won’t respect the fact that you live by certain rules or moral codes and will simply break them to show you that he doesn’t care about what you consider “right.”
what should be done? Try to become aware of this as soon as possible.
If he doesn’t respect your lifestyle or the things that matter to you, he doesn’t respect you.
Leave as soon as possible because things will only get worse.
- He is trying to control you
He’ll be there, constantly trying to look over your shoulder and force you to do things you don’t want to do but want him to do.
He will control your life, from small things like canceling your dates last minute, arriving late, meeting you when it suits him and where he wants, etc.
You will be tied hand and foot and this will make him the master of your relationship. Later, he will control you by preventing you from speaking as he sees fit.
He will interrupt you in the middle of a conversation because he will feel that what he has to say is more important than what you want to say.
what should be done? The only thing to do, short of letting it go, is to ignore everything he says.
Do what you want and don’t let it control you. Never subscribe to their terms because they are made just for fun or for your misfortune.
He will probably fly into a rage but by then you should already be far away from him.
- He doesn’t respect your boundaries
He thinks your boundaries don’t matter and will keep pushing you beyond them until he completely destroys you.
He’ll probably ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable, and if you say no, “no” won’t be an acceptable answer…
This means that he will tell you that things are going well while he is actually busy preparing an evil plan to force you to go against your principles.
what should be done? You just have to stay strong and true to your principles. Never do anything that seems inappropriate to you.
Even if he has already manipulated your mind, deep in your heart and soul, you can distinguish between good and evil.
He can’t take that from you. Defend yourself and fight to the end.
Now that you’ve figured out how to spot and deal with a narcissist, let’s move on to the most dangerous part: learning about the techniques for dealing with a narcissist.
These are the tactics narcissists use to manipulate you
What they do best is “hover”. It is a specific tactic that is used once you have decided to get rid of them and not be subjected to psychological abuse anymore.
It’s the most dangerous weapon they have once you realize how much a relationship with a masked narcissist has done to your self-esteem.
The hovering technique is a manipulation technique that involves putting a person back into an abusive relationship.
It is usually a technique used in the long term, without contact, when the attacker manipulates his victim in a way that touches his sensitive points and lures him back into his net.
- They provide false explanations to explain your thoughts and feelings
Suppose they have the ability to read your mind and this is dangerous, because by ignoring your thoughts and feelings, they make you feel like you are crazy.
We are talking about “telepathy”. They will make sure they can read your mind, and whenever you have something to say, they will interrupt you and come to hasty conclusions, thinking that you want nothing more than to be with them.
They were never wrong. If you try to stand up for yourself and confront them about it, they will form their own version of the truth.
- They change the subject
Whenever you want to confront them about something they did, they will subtly and subtly change the subject so that they shift your attention to something other than them.
They will talk about “mistakes” you made years ago and play the victim. They will always have a joker in their pocket to deal with such situations.
Whenever you make a mistake, they will pretend that it is okay, only to blame you when it seems right.
- They harass you and want to ruin your reputation
They will focus all their efforts on convincing people that you are the one who is toxic and the one destroying them.
They will slander you and talk behind your back because their ultimate goal will be to make sure that no one talks to you and that once you decide to leave there is nowhere to go.
They will harass your loved ones, mess around with them, and try to tell them lies about you. Then you will know who your true friends are.
