Two Reasons Narcissists Copy Others

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by patterns of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. At the core of this personality type lies a fragile sense of self-esteem, which prompts narcissists to behave in ways that compensate for their internal insecurities. One of these behaviors is copying or mimicking others.

While it may seem odd for someone who projects an image of superiority to imitate other people, this phenomenon is actually a defense mechanism. Narcissists copy others for various reasons, but two of the primary motives are: to enhance their own image and to maintain control over others.

1. Image Enhancement and Identity Construction

At the core of narcissism is a fragile ego and an unstable sense of self. Narcissists often lack a solid identity, which leads them to adopt the traits, behaviors, or characteristics of those they admire or see as successful. Copying others becomes a tool they use to construct an idealized version of themselves and enhance their image.

The Fragile Narcissistic Ego

Although narcissists often present themselves as confident and self-assured, their self-image is typically unstable and dependent on external validation. The confidence they project is a facade covering deep-seated insecurities. To fill this internal void, narcissists copy traits or behaviors they believe will make them more likable, desirable, or impressive.

For example:

A narcissist might start dressing or speaking in a similar way to someone they admire or consider powerful.
They may mimic a coworker’s skills or mannerisms if that coworker is praised or recognized by others.
They might adopt the interests, hobbies, or personal achievements of others to appear more well-rounded or accomplished.

In this way, narcissists borrow traits they perceive as desirable in order to create a false self-image that will garner attention and admiration. Image enhancement is about controlling how others perceive them, masking their deep insecurities, and shaping an idealized version of themselves.

A Chameleon-like Behavior

Narcissists are known to be highly adaptive when it comes to their social surroundings. Like a chameleon, they often change their behaviors, personalities, and even beliefs depending on who they are interacting with. This adaptability is a form of impression management, where the narcissist mimics others to seamlessly blend into social environments and improve their social standing.

By copying others, they gain the ability to project success or confidence that they may not genuinely possess. If they find themselves in a social situation where they feel inadequate, they may imitate others as a survival tactic, hoping to conceal their insecurities and pass off someone else’s success or traits as their own.

Example in Relationships

In romantic relationships, narcissists often engage in mirroring during the early stages. They observe and mimic their partner’s likes, dislikes, interests, and even values to create the illusion of compatibility and connection. This behavior can lead their partners to believe they have found a soulmate, only for the narcissist to eventually drop the facade once the initial admiration is secured.

This mirroring can leave the victim feeling confused and betrayed as the narcissist’s true personality and self-centered behaviors begin to emerge.

2. Maintaining Control Over Others

Narcissists often copy others as a way to manipulate and control. Mimicking the behavior or traits of someone else can serve to disarm, confuse, or build a false sense of rapport with the person they are copying. This tactic allows narcissists to create an illusion of empathy, understanding, or intimacy, all of which can be leveraged to gain control over others.

The Manipulation Tactic of Mimicry

People naturally gravitate toward those who are similar to them. This psychological principle, known as the similarity-attraction effect, is something narcissists exploit through imitation. By mirroring someone’s behavior, speech patterns, or body language, narcissists can create an illusion of closeness or trust. This tactic makes others feel understood or validated, which makes them more susceptible to the narcissist’s influence.

Once this false connection is established, the narcissist can manipulate the situation to serve their own needs, whether it’s gaining admiration, exploiting resources, or maintaining control over the relationship.

For example:

A narcissist might copy a colleague’s communication style to appear more relatable, using this familiarity to gain an upper hand in a professional setting.
In personal relationships, they may mimic their partner’s values or beliefs in order to emotionally manipulate them into staying in the relationship, even when the narcissist’s behavior becomes toxic.

By copying others, narcissists create a false sense of alignment, allowing them to take advantage of the trust and intimacy they’ve deceptively fostered.

Controlling the Narrative

Another reason narcissists copy others is to control the narrative of how they are perceived in a group. If the narcissist feels threatened by someone who is more competent, charismatic, or successful, they may begin copying that person’s behavior in an effort to overshadow them or reduce the threat. By imitating the admired qualities of others, the narcissist tries to draw attention to themselves, positioning themselves as the focal point of admiration.

This tactic not only feeds the narcissist’s ego but also serves to undermine the original person being copied. The narcissist may downplay or dismiss the other person’s contributions, while presenting themselves as equally or more competent, effectively hijacking the admiration or praise meant for someone else.

Narcissistic Copying vs. Healthy Imitation

It’s important to distinguish narcissistic copying from healthy imitation. In normal social interactions, it’s common for people to pick up traits or behaviors from those they admire. Imitating someone’s positive qualities can be a way to grow, learn, or build meaningful connections.

However, narcissistic copying is manipulative and self-serving. The narcissist isn’t adopting these traits to improve themselves or foster genuine relationships. Instead, they are imitating others to mask their insecurities, manipulate social dynamics, or control how they are perceived. Unlike healthy imitation, narcissistic copying is often disingenuous and serves only to maintain the narcissist’s fragile self-image or to manipulate others.

Conclusion: The Narcissist’s Fragile Identity

Narcissists copy others for two primary reasons: to enhance their self-image and to control their relationships. Their fragile sense of self leaves them feeling inadequate, leading them to imitate qualities they perceive as superior or admirable in others. By copying these traits, narcissists attempt to bolster their own ego and project an image of success or confidence.

At the same time, narcissists use imitation as a tool of manipulation, creating false bonds with others to gain influence and control. This mimicry can foster trust and connection, making it easier for narcissists to exploit and manipulate those around them.

Understanding why narcissists copy others reveals much about the underlying insecurity and emotional manipulation that defines this personality type. While their imitation may appear flattering on the surface, it often hides deeper, more damaging motives that serve to protect their fragile ego and maintain control over their social environment.