“Trauma dumping” is a modern term used to describe the act of unloading overwhelming emotions or traumatic experiences on another person, often without warning. It’s a common problem, especially among those who have gone through traumatic experiences and struggle to deal with their feelings. It can happen between family members, friends, co-workers, partners, and on social media.

Having an open and honest dialogue with your friends and family is an integral part of any healthy friendship or relationship. But is there a different side to it?

Let’s dive into the basics of trauma release and some steps you can take to be mindful in those moments when you need a shoulder to lean on.

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The foundation of mutual relationships generally involves feeling safe around someone and knowing that they have your back.

The importance of giving someone space to express themselves without interruption is huge for maintaining healthy relationships. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your struggles with those closest to you, whether for inspiration, reassurance, or just to vent.

However, traumatic dumping can sometimes be harmful to the person being dumped on, because they may not be prepared to deal with the intensity of the feelings or may not have the resources to help the person being dumped on. This can also damage the dump truck, avoiding impact handling and potentially causing more severe reactions in the future.

The term “trauma dumping” was first coined by psychotherapist and trauma specialist Janina Fisher in her book Healing the Fragmented Self for Trauma Survivors. Fisher defined retraumatization as “the act of ‘dumping’ or shifting the responsibility for managing the traumatic experience to another person.” When this happens, she said, it can be harmful to both the truck driver and the person on whom the impact occurred.
Why does shock dumping occur?

People going through a traumatic experience may be overwhelmed with emotions and may not have the resources or coping skills to manage these emotions healthily. In these moments, they may turn to another person and use them as a “dumping ground” for their emotions. This can take the form of telling the person all the details of the trauma or speaking in a stream of consciousness, or it can be more subtle, such as expecting the person to “fix” the trauma or expecting them to be available as an emotional helper. ‘crutch.’

People experiencing trauma often feel alone and want to feel heard and validated. The problem is that they may end up isolating themselves even more if they unconsciously alienate people. As a result, they became more isolated. They crave connection but unfortunately may not achieve it.

How to measure yourself when you need support

To avoid de-trauma, it is important to be aware of your emotions and be mindful of times when you may feel overwhelmed. It’s also important to have a plan to manage intense emotions healthily.

The listener may not have been allowed to opt out of the trauma release. Additionally, when traumatizers fail to take reasonable steps to avoid triggering situations, the receiving party may feel overwhelmed and frustrated.

Sharing your trauma story without considering its impact on the listener can sometimes damage relationships. However, in those painful moments when you are triggered, you may not realize that your usual support person may not be in the right frame of mind to accept your venting or offer you support.

Are you a shock dumper? Find out if any of these signs apply to you.
Signs of dumping shock

Here are possible signs of dumping trauma:

Sharing graphic details about a painful situation or repeating the same stories
Casual conversations are constantly interspersed with references to past trauma
Share your story with people you don’t know well
Select listeners who may feel most obligated to do so
Posting detailed accounts of trauma on social media, such as in blog comments or private groups designed for an entirely different topic

• Excessive sharing of painful or difficult experiences with others in a repetitive or unwanted manner
  Sharing disturbing details about events that are out of the ordinary for others

Recognizing when you may be experiencing trauma can help you learn healthy ways to cope with trauma and maintain meaningful relationships. Sharing extremely upsetting information with people over and over again and expecting them to respond with the same level of empathy and concern may not be practical or healthy. This can make people distance themselves by feeling:

The details of your stories are surprising and disturbing.

Feeling unsure about how to respond to your stories, especially if they have provided practical, sensible advice in the past about a recurring situation (for example, repeatedly sharing about an unfaithful partner or spouse but not taking any actionable steps to resolve the situation in your favor)
Feeling frustrated by your inability to recognize that their stories of trauma are impacting their mental health.

Tips to tell your story without getting rid of your trauma

You don’t need to hide your trauma to avoid unlearning the trauma. It is common for survivors to feel ashamed or pressured to remain calm, which hinders healing. Sharing your trauma requires that you think about your environment, the details you share, and how the listener(s) may be affected. Here are some ways you can discuss your trauma with the people you care about without overwhelming them.

Consider whether the environment you are participating in is appropriate before participating. For example, it is usually not a good idea to disclose trauma history at work.

If you want to share a painful experience, ask the listener if they have the emotional space for it.

It’s important to think about how the details of your trauma have affected the other person. They may have things going on in their lives that they are working through.

It is best to avoid mentioning your trauma in casual conversations.

When you post any aspect of your trauma on social media, include a warning.

Participate in individual or group therapy. Doing this will allow you to process the trauma and the emotions, thoughts, and experiences associated with it in a safe place.

Keep in mind that when you leave multiple paragraphs about your position on blogs and social media platforms, administrators may not know how to respond. It’s not necessarily that they don’t care, they may simply not know where to start.

Join social media groups for survivors. You can share your experiences with others who have agreed to listen to the stories of other survivors. However, you should be careful, because groups designed for support can be helpful, but they can sometimes exacerbate trauma symptoms due to a phenomenon called vicarious trauma. Consider un-joining a group if you find yourself constantly stimulated.

If your case involves domestic violence, it is a good idea to visit your local domestic violence center to see if they can help you. For the record, narcissistic and emotional abuse are often classified as domestic violence, although that depends on where you live. At the very least, reach out to them and talk to a staff member about your situation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, opening up about your struggles and pain with safe people is essential for healing. Feeling supported, validated, and safe around people you care about can go a long way in restoring your self-esteem and sense of security.

The people you love want to be there for you and see you improve. These tips can help you get the support you need without affecting your most important relationships.