This is the core of the gospel. Jesus took on the full measure of justice needed for the forgiveness of sins on himself. Justice had to be satisfied for God’s love to be released without condition on humanity. In the case of many abuse victims, justice is rarely, if ever, given. Instead, if quick forgiveness is pushed onto them by a misguided pastor or congregation, the injustice is compounded. Comforting the poor in spirit is no longer a valued skill in our churches. But the grief and long recovery from narcissistic abuse demand a loving and patient response. Supporting the expulsion of an abusive spouse from a church setting is the first step. But unlike Jesus, churches rarely want to share in the pain of such a situation. Many churches believe it is better to paint it with whitewash and cause the abuse to become even more entrenched than confront evil and risk controversy. Not that this is necessarily intentional, but manipulating an abuse victim to reconcile with an abuser using religious guilt makes the church an extension of that guilt.
I often come back to the parable of the king going over his accounts. That king knew exactly what his debtor owed him.
Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. Matthew 18:23
Accurate accountability for violations does not happen overnight. One must know what one is forgiving before one can truly forgive. Remember that forgiveness is not reconciliation. These are two different animals. Pardon is the release of the debt owed. nothing else.
I love what James 1:27 says about true religion:
This is what God the Father wants. It’s clean and true… Go and help the widows. These people have problems. And keep yourself clean from the wrong things in the world.
I know many single mothers whose ex-husbands are no longer in the picture. I think they fall into this category. Instead of imposing toxic tolerance on them, why not help them be safe, provided for, and supported? The church should not appoint itself as overseer of God’s hall. It is a futile endeavor in any case. Let the Holy Spirit lead the poor in spirit to greener pastures where forgiveness becomes an option because the trauma is over.
