To My Narcissistic Psychopathic Mother, I Am “The Face That Understands Her”

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In August of 2018, devoted father Chris Watts murdered his wife, Shanann, eight months pregnant with his son, Nico, his four-year-old daughter, Bella, and his three-year-old daughter, Sissy. He then threw his daughters into small columns into huge oil tanks and buried Shannan face down in a shallow grave.

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It has always been a mystery to me why psychopaths feel the need to mutilate or cover the faces of their victims.

During his initial interview with the lead investigator, Watts said of his daughters: “The love you have for your children will be tremendous. No matter what happens, this will never die. Because these are your children. This will never die.” He says it twice.

Sometimes guilty people who lie unconsciously confess. It’s as if the truth is seeping through their words. Even though they did something terrible, a small part of them still knew it was wrong.

I posted my mother’s letter to me in response to my public accusations of violent sexual assault and psychopathy. The second line of that letter states: “I thought my words would have no effect in the face of this misunderstanding of who I am.”

It’s an awkward wording, which is uncharacteristic of her. You said in the article that I’m not her person, and I think that’s true. But after I pressed “publish” I realized what that second line of the message really meant.

How can the one who gave you life not protect you? When their first job is to make sure they are okay, instead they are the ones causing you harm.

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Serial killers cover their victims’ faces because their victims see them without their masks. After the attack, my mother could never look at me, and neither could my brother. I saw my mother without her mask. I am the face that understands who she really is.

My mother is not afraid that anyone will believe me, but she does not like me to embarrass her by accusing her.