Knowing if there is a difference between narcissistic tendencies and full-blown pathological narcissism is important to everyone.
We all have the ability to be a little selfish at times, but that doesn’t mean we’re narcissistic. In addition, those we love and work with may also display self-obsessed traits that are only small parts of their true identity, making it difficult to distinguish true narcissism from character flaws.
Successfully navigating the world of personal relationships requires us to be able to dig deep into the personalities of the people we spend time with. Fortunately, there are some key similarities between narcissistic tendencies and true narcissistic personalities that can be easily spotted once they are understood.
True textbook narcissism displays classic “center of attention” behavior, producing anger and dramatic actions when demands are not met. Self-absorption, poor response to criticism, and a perception of grandeur are also prevalent in this personality type. The narcissistic personality will not hear you and will not accept anything less than their superiority.
Deeply rooted “I” tendencies are different from someone who feels good about themselves and is a strong leader. When distinguishing a true narcissistic personality from self-absorbed or self-confident behavior, observing the frequency, intensity, and duration will help guide you to a better understanding.
repetition
A relatively easy task, determining the frequency with which narcissistic traits are displayed will help determine whether they are the result of an isolated person’s temperament or more deeply ingrained personality traits. Identifying isolated or rare incidents of narcissistic tendencies and ongoing, unrelenting issues will help you gain the needed perspective.
intensity
Objective assessment of the severity of actions and traits. One way to do this is to count how often a person talks about themselves in a conversation instead of also listening to what you have to say. Narcissists also not only talk more about themselves, but they are also overly self-centered, interfering in any situation or conversation without regard for others.
Duration
If a person is only confident, he is willing to listen to other people’s suggestions and to compromise with his behavior from time to time. A true narcissist will not budge, and their behavior will continue to outpace them indefinitely. Not only will narcissists hear you, but they also won’t believe your opinions about their behavior even if that behavior causes you great pain. There is no change in the narcissist’s behavior or outlook.
Fewer narcissistic traits does not mean they are safer to deal with
A common mistake that victims of narcissistic abuse make is believing that if someone doesn’t check all the criteria on those checklists they find online, they are somehow safer to be with, and this is where I want to remind you that it only takes a trait pathological one to completely destroy another person’s life.
An interesting fact about narcissism is that it falls under the category of Cluster-B. So, if you think you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s very likely that their narcissism is “bundled” with something else. For example, you could be dealing with a narcissist who also has antisocial traits, or you might be dealing with a narcissist who has psychopathic traits, or a combination of the three. This is why it is often difficult to say exactly which category they fall into because they don’t fall into just one category. When you put them all together, you have a very dangerous individual.
