The harshest thing I can do is give you one scenario. The truth is, there are several key moments when you’ll start to realize how much a narcissist misses you.

Have you ever noticed them trying to sneak up on you or abandon you altogether?

This constant alternation of hot and cold faucets is for a reason—to keep you feeling uneasy and anxious.

I say let them miss you, but at least know why they miss you.

miss you?

It sounds crazy to think a narcissist misses anyone, or anything, doesn’t it?

I don’t want you to start making mistakes here. It’s easy to do when… I know you’ll associate the term “missing you” with having to leave someone you love for a while.

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Maybe your son or daughter is going on their first trip abroad. Or they’re heading off to college. Your friend is moving to a different city for work, and you don’t see them much.

You miss them, and they miss you. And it’s great to be reunited with them, because you can make up for lost time together.

Narcissists aren’t the type to usually miss you.

They miss you for reasons that are harmful to them.

You’re no longer around.

You no longer give them what they need.

And this isn’t just a wound to their pride; it’s a real wound to their image.

When Their Supply Gets Depleted

First, we have that all-important supply.

It’s often said, and simply put, that supply is everything you surrender, consciously or unconsciously, to the narcissist, that would otherwise be yours.

Your soul.

Your patience.

Your tears.

Your pleading.

Your anxiety.

Your depression.

Your low self-esteem.

Your lack of confidence.

Your isolationist personality.

Your reactions.

Your lack of boundaries.

If all of these suddenly dry up, the narcissist will find themselves in a desperate desert, desperate for everything to return to normal.

They will only miss you in the sense that they miss the times when you served them, because that will simultaneously erode a part of you.

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When you stop providing them with energy, you stop providing them with it. Soon, the narcissist ends up in the most difficult situation imaginable.

They are vulnerable, and they have nothing to pump into their ego because they can’t produce it themselves.

When You Start Shine Without Them

Shine, right?

If you’re used to narcissistic abuse, you’ll either be in a post-shine phase or a pre-shine phase.

It can take some time to reach the point where you feel confident enough to come back to your true self, and that shine often starts from within before it reaches the outer layer.

I will tell you, though: Shining is the best part of healing. Shining means you know your worth again, and you’re fighting for yourself. You fight for what you stand for, who you are, and what matters to you.

When you can do this without the narcissist’s approval or attention, you win.

When they see you shining in ways that only you created, they’ll realize you no longer need them—something they’ll miss immediately.

It took all this effort to get there, and the last thing you want is to back down the moment the narcissist tries to reach out to you.

Let them miss you.

That’s their problem, not yours.

When They Realize You’re Genuinely Over It

I want to throw a little party whenever I hear of someone who’s moved on from a narcissist and entered a healthy, well-adjusted relationship.

I’ll throw a party even if they’ve moved on but chosen to remain single and build friendships and hobby groups.

Related : How Narcissists Control You with Fake Positivity

If you’ve moved on from a narcissist for good, I applaud you.

But the narcissist won’t praise you. In fact, the moment they know you’ve finally moved on is the moment they’ll miss you more than ever.

The experience of manipulating or controlling you has faded, faded, and completely disappeared. What now?

They have nothing, and this emptiness is deeply disturbing to them.

Your happiness is a death sentence for their ego, and you’re walking away, taking what you have with you.

Isn’t it time you got the positivity you deserve? I say you’re late.

Let them miss you.

Your Peace Is Their Panic

Peace can arise inside or outside of a relationship with a narcissist, and I want to show you what that can look like.

Before anyone breaks up with a narcissist, they reach a point where they can’t see themselves in that dynamic.

They’ve matured and realized what a mess they’re in.

They realize what happened. They wake up to the abuse. They transform from victim to victor.

The narcissist will miss you, not that they’ll admit it. You begin to grow, even though they’re still trying to drag you down.

Related : Surprising Realities of Breaking Up with a Narcissist

These harsh tactics no longer work, and now you’re escaping the toxic nest in search of a better life.

You feel at peace. You no longer react to their games, and any triggers they try to throw your way are met with indifference. Your armor is stronger than their weapons.

At least!

You feel free! This triggers a certain panic in narcissists—who desperately try to reclaim your fears and worries.

When Their New Source Is No Match

It’s always better, isn’t it? Clinging to a new source seems good at first, but after a while, they realize it’s not the same without you.

The new source isn’t as emotionally responsive. They’re not as attached to you as you were. They’re not as forgiving, and they don’t seem to fall for the manipulation as much as you did.

It’s simply not as powerful, not as much.

So, when the narcissist places you two side by side in their mind, this new support doesn’t measure up to the real you.

The successes aren’t as powerful. The failures aren’t as bad.

It’s just not the same, and everyone will miss you.

But this is where I come back to you, because it’s about to get very real.

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Missing you doesn’t mean the narcissist loves you and wants you back. You certainly don’t have the right to return to their embrace and provide them with the inner peace they need with your return.

You were only good for one thing—to be their support. Anything else is just your imagination, or what they’re trying to trick you into.

This is how narcissism works. It’s a dangerous tug-of-war that you’ll never win.

Let the narcissist’s treatment of you show what you’re trying to internalize.

And if you truly want to find love, you have to look outside the toxic game narcissists play on their victims.