Please, won’t anyone listen to me?

Please believe me. I’m telling the truth!

They’re crazy! They’re narcissists!

I’ve been severely abused, why won’t you believe me?!

Sometimes you might scream until your face turns red.

Does this work?

Not always. In fact, people often don’t believe a narcissist abused you.

Here’s what to do when they don’t…

It Might Be Hard To Believe…

You may be tempted to over-talk, but you’ll likely alienate people by doing so.

Half the battle to gain trust is convincing those who doubt you.

Narcissists often win the information-sharing race when it comes to abuse.

Related : 8 Reasons Narcissists Can’t See Their Abusive Acts as Evil

If you plan to speak up, know that they’ve already done so, and with more than one person. Stepping into their shadow to present your story is often met with some bewilderment from those you want to believe.

Narcissists Are Very Smart: Behind Closed Doors

What you see behind closed doors will be very different from what others see.

Let me give you a quick example.

Danny was a successful real estate broker. He went to work every day, and on Fridays, he bought the office cookies as a gift.

People came to him for advice and trusted him. He offered valuable advice and was named Regional Mortgage Broker of the Year three years in a row.

He was well-known in the industry, and many admired his approach to business. Danny’s clients would buy him champagne or chocolates as a thank you for his honest and supportive assistance.

Danny would come home every night and assault his wife, who was left to struggle for her reputation because no one believed someone so kind could do such a thing.

That’s how smart narcissists are. People don’t question him. Why would they do it when all they’re presented with is a positive image?

Different Experiences

The diversity of experiences people have with the same person ultimately shatters the notion that they’re all from one person or another.

You may know a narcissist who comes home asking for nothing but a toxic relationship between the two of you. Your experience is different, but it’s still valid.

Related : What to Do When The Narcissist Spreads Lies About You

You still have the right to talk about what you went through.

And, more importantly, you still have the right to feel bad about what the narcissist put you through on a daily basis.

Ignorance Costs Effort

I think it’s important to be aware of narcissism so you know what to expect when people don’t believe you were abused.

Recognize that people will, of course, reject the negative assumption, and that now you need to return to the following:

“I know who I am, and I know what happened to me.”

“I own my experiences.”

“You know a different version of that person than I do.”

“You may not believe me, but I know what was happening to me, and I am determined to heal from it.”

“You don’t need to believe me, but I needed to tell you anyway.”

“With time, I hope you’ll realize that I was abused. And I hope you’ll understand that it wasn’t my fault.”

“I know this may be hard to understand, but you don’t know them as well as I do.”

“People are different depending on who they’re around.”

Thinking that saying these things means you’re staying true to yourself—something you may not have been able to do much with a narcissist.

Related : How Do You Know If A Narcissist Is Gone For Good?

This proves that people may have differing opinions about the same person based on their personal experiences with them…

…but that doesn’t mean your experiences are untrue.

The Dangers Of Silence

Silence is how much of what is untrue, unfair, or overlooked is being said.

Silence is how abusers maintain their power and entitlement.

I’ve always believed that if you’re going to speak up about someone, speak up. Sometimes, yes, that involves saying things people may not want to hear or are not ready to hear.

Talk too much to the wrong person without considering the repercussions, such as legal action, can be dangerous. However…

…silence is even more dangerous, both for you and for the next person who crosses the narcissist’s path.

If speaking up means confiding in a friend or relative, do it.

If speaking up means calling a helpline or a therapist, do it.

If speaking up means standing up for yourself with the truth when confronted, do it. #SelfCare

When no one believes you, it can feel like you’re swimming in a deep sea without a lifeline.

No one is there for you, no one is watching your struggles, and you feel invisible.

You’re tired of feeling invisible, and that’s the main reason you’re in this predicament.

You just want someone to validate you—anyone—but so far, no one is listening.

Related : 7 Strange Reasons Why Narcissists Believe In Conspiracy Theories

I once met a woman I’ll call Debbie. Debbie had been married to Mark for over 40 years, and she realized that their life together was built on his narcissistic personality and the way he treated her.

Debbie’s hardest task was convincing people to believe her, and she struggled every day to be heard.

One day, Debbie happened upon a neighbor who hadn’t really spoken to Mark. He said, “He completely ignores me one day, and then he won’t even talk to me the next. Honestly, I find him a bit of a sycophant, you know? Like he thinks he’s all this. Sorry if that bothers me.”

Sorry if that bothers me?!

Debbie had been wanting to hear this from someone for decades! Finally, someone who could cut through the charm and offer a realistic opinion of Mark!

From that moment on, Debbie took it upon herself to prioritize herself. She knew what she needed was to be validated so she could shed light on all her experiences.

You see, it’s all about taking care of yourself and making sure no one denies that the narcissist abused you.

You may have to deal with not everyone believing you, but you also have to accept that.

And you know what? Sometimes, all you need is one person who understands you to know you have someone to talk to.

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