Gaslighting is cruel
I would go so far as to say that it can have devastating consequences for the person on the receiving end.
Reality does not feel real, and entire identities can be lost due to the narcissist’s lies and manipulation.
Sadly – it’s a normal part of a toxic relationship like this.
They want to mess with you and leave you in a constant state of self-doubt because they like you to be.
So, what is the worst form of gaslighting?
Put it this way – the narcissist knows how to expand.
Let’s set the scene…
Conflict and drama ahead!
You’ve probably been in a situation with a narcissist where you confronted them about something huge.
Your friend has proof that he was cheating.
Unfair treatment by a narcissistic parent has been shown to you.
A toxic co-worker reveals their true personality at work and sabotages projects or deadlines.
Armed with evidence – get fully involved.
You have something you need to prove, and I mean to prove that they made a mistake.
There’s no escape for them – all you have to do is present your evidence and finally get to a point where people can see them for what they are.
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.
Your identity will be verified, and you will be at peace with all those times you suffered previously because you now have what you need to prove your innocence.
Ah…the narcissist is ready with this devastating statement that will exclude you and crush your reality.
See also : Toxic Friend Alert: 10 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship
“No one will believe you.”
Wait a minute.
What do you mean no one will believe me?
It’s perfectly acceptable for narcissists to get in the way of your intention, and they’re very good at it, too.
No one will believe you, you are the only way a narcissist can become the cruelest version of themselves, with a little help from you – the one who finally believes them in their reality.
The mask slips on privately
You know the mask I’m talking about.
The narcissistic mask is well-worn in public. It is almost glued to the narcissist’s face.
It has been preserved so that when the time comes that you want to shout from the rooftops, “This person is toxic! They are narcissists!”, people will look at you with confusion.
They are generous with others.
They are kind.
They are excited.
They are charming,
They are a good person.
They admire everyone.
This is exactly what they want everyone to think, which makes it difficult for you to expose them as the “bad guy.”
What does this mean for you??
Well, there’s only one way you can travel: down a slippery slope of anxiety and uncertainty.
The harder it is for you to prove to everyone that the narcissist is cruel and intolerant, the more desperate he becomes.
You feel helpless. You may even blame yourself and doubt what you saw, were told, or were shown.
Next step – isolation
This is the pivotal moment in which a person who was burning in the belief that no one would believe him withdraws. They turn away from everyone around them – family and friends – because the ultimate division exists.
See also : Toxic Friend Alert: 10 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Draining Friendship
There is nothing you can do to prove that a narcissist is a narcissist. There is also a real danger that a person will believe something fundamentally wrong with themselves.
It’s like you’re the fake one, and all that support you used to get just disappears.
Believe me when I say that the narcissist is deliberately breaking you down to gain complete control.
No one will listen to you.
No one will believe you
What’s left for you but to surrender to their toxicity?
while…
The narcissist may continue to act as they normally would, like their fake charming persona, pushing their grandiose ideas out into the world and “getting away with it.”
Despair does not come close…
Unfortunately, the narcissist is likely right. No one will believe you all the time while others see someone completely different from you.
You can scream and scream until you’re blue in the face. You can point and say what you know, what you see, and what you feel.
It won’t get you anywhere.
You will feel hopeless – and that is exactly what the narcissist was aiming for.
They gaslight you to keep you under their control. They see what you want to share with others, making it impossible for you to gain any kind of belief or validation.
Excuses follow
What usually happens when you try to tell people the truth about a narcissist are the usual statements:
We all have things going on.
I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.
All families have their problems.
I find that hard to believe.
Well, I personally never had any problem with them.
Yes… that’s right… more gaslighting!
Help will not be an option for you (even though it always is), because in your mind – getting more help is pointless.
What’s the point if people already disbelieve in you?
Childhood trauma
It is not unusual for a child to go through the same process – imagine how traumatic this would be for an already vulnerable person.
If children encounter this worst form of gaslighting, they will soon learn never to ask for help.
They will learn to suffer in silence.
They will never know themselves fully.
Reality will always be a distortion – but it’s all they know.
familiar?
As with most of my blogs, you’ll have space to fit your story into your learning. This can be helpful when you compare your own experiences with so-called “school narcissistic tactics.”
It is very important to understand how narcissistic relationships work, not only for your benefit but for your future as well.
Hiding your true self doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
Telling you that no one will believe you is a cruel attempt to mask the toxic behaviors that the narcissist regularly exudes.
We need to talk about this kind of gaslighting more and more, and with every conversation, we chip away at the power of the narcissist.
