Narcissists can lose their minds in many different ways (depending on their audience!)

Sometimes, they can smile through clenched teeth as their mind crumbles. Other times, they direct their anger at anyone nearby (usually a spouse or family member).

The question often comes up:

What makes a narcissist lose his mind?

Is it something you realize you’re doing, or is it just you? Trust me when I say—both are possible.

Let’s see exactly how…

WhenYouRegainYourBoundaries

If a narcissist has spent a lot of time getting away from your emotional push and pull, he’d better prepare himself.

The shock that comes with you starting to stand up for yourself and expressing what you will and won’t tolerate is painful.

And like all people when they’re bitten, they’re going to scream and cry in pain.

Well, a narcissist won’t admit that your boundaries are causing him pain. Like anyone who’s unwilling or unable to express their feelings, they’re going to resort to anger.

Learning to say “no” will be the gift of breathing space you give yourself and reassert your control. Narcissists, on the other hand, will feel their minds spinning.

What do they do now that they can no longer control you?

IfIDenyThemAllGratification

Why don’t they give me my due compliments?

Why don’t they ask me “How high am I?” when I say “jump”?

I have to make my own dinner because they decided to go out?

Related : How Do You Know a Narcissist is Lying?

They were terrible at it until last night. They barely spoke to my coworkers.

Narcissists need you to need them. They want you to want them.

But…

They will never ask for it. They expect it.

It’s all part of their inflated ego syndrome, and why this type of personality disorder is so disturbing and incurable. Narcissists aren’t good at just getting through the day.

They want likes on social media.

They want you to sponsor their next “adventure.”

They want you to comment on their obvious weight loss, haircut, or whatever.

But they need that more than anything else.

If you start dancing to the beat of your own drum and forget to give them your free words, they’ll fall apart.

Hinting They Need Help

Do you need me to help you?

Can I support you with this?

Do you need a loan?

Oh my God. Talk about shaking their cage.

How dare you suggest that a narcissist is somehow weak?

They don’t need your help, and they’ll get by just fine without you, thank you!

Just think about what your offer of help does to their ego. It’s seen as a threat to them. The idea that you have something they need. Not only that, but you’re just going to give it to them and feel good about it?

No. They’ll take what you offer them when you don’t ask for it, and make you feel bad for not asking for it.

Asking for or accepting help is the ultimate sign of a narcissist’s weakness. They’re all about you cornering them and giving them attention, but not if you want to brag about it.

That’s what they’ll do.

LeaveThem

Hands up, who’s ever left a narcissist?

(I feel like I need to ask you how you’re doing!)

But also – wow. It was hard, wasn’t it? I mean, it wasn’t obvious. It came with so many challenges, and where are all the people you knew?

They’re not there. That’s because you chose to embarrass the narcissist and get rid of them – their ultimate fear.

Narcissists hate abandonment. It triggers all the insecurities they secretly feel about themselves. Your departure ignites all the reasons they secretly despise themselves.

If they knew the relationship was going to end – they’d probably wish they’d gotten in there first and spread lies about a fake betrayal. Leaving a narcissist means you’re ripping their main source of supply out of their cold, stubborn hands.

Related :  Are Narcissists Lying or Delusional?

What are they going to do now without you?

Loss their minds!

Shame them in any way

Shame leads to the possibility of shaming.

It’s supposed to rhyme because it’s my little song to you.

It’s sexy and you won’t forget it, especially after you do it to a narcissist.

Insulting them in any way will awaken the beast.

I can’t believe you missed that shot!

Are you blind? That was a terrible corner!

Hur hur – you spilled your drink! Do you need a napkin?

Of course, we all joke around with each other. We all tolerate it on a healthy level because we’re human and we all make mistakes. We trip, we spill things, we forget to take out the trash.

You’ll know a narcissist when you know you can’t tease them. Your words will hit them like a freight train, completely derailing them.

Get Ready to Hide!

Refuse to Argue or Explain

Yes, that’s a good thing.

So you’ve finally decided to walk away from the conflict. The air feels thick, and you want to get out, so you pull away.

You’re not interested, because you know what’s going to happen eventually. Instead, you refuse to be drawn into the conflict.

I’m not going to argue with you today.

I’ve said what I have to say.

There’s nothing left to explain.

You’re cutting them off. The more you engage in the fight, the higher they’ll climb. And if you prevent them from taking another step up, they won’t know what to do.

Narcissists love the view from the top of the mountain of conflict. If you build a barrier to block access, they’ll hate you for it.

Highlighting Their Weaknesses

Bald hair, a little shorter than average, not skilled enough for a management position; weaknesses come in all forms.

Related : How Do You Deal with Silent Treatment from Narcissists?

Narcissists love to bury their fears deep down and hide them with a lot of help from you or anyone else willing to provide it.

So… now you bring up these fears, and they feel bad energy building up in their chest. They want to explode and throw it all in your face (and they probably will).

Nothing you say that triggers their fears will end well because they are ashamed of being vulnerable. That’s why they always want you to appear vulnerable – so they don’t have to.

laughingatthem

Yes – this is the worst thing you can do. I mean, if the narcissist is joking, you laugh with them. That’s what they want.

You laugh at them if they do something that makes them look foolish.

Different story.

Different game.

Different consequences for you.

Watching a narcissist lose his mind can bring people some elements of joy. I try to prevent people from finding joy in their misery, because that can come at a high price.