Are you considering confronting a narcissist and wondering what to expect?

Too often people confront narcissists, thinking that showing them how they act and how hurt they are might make a difference. You might think that they simply do not know how to act. Or maybe you just got tired of it. You are fed up and want to present the facts to the narcissist because you want them to know that you love them.

What do you expect when you encounter a narcissist

1 – They react to narcissistic anger and injury
Be prepared, they will do more than just dump you or walk away.

They will make you pay to confront them because you point out flaws in their character or character and they just can’t deal with that. So they’ll turn things around and make it seem like you’re the reason they do the things they do and why they act the way they do.

This could include any number of things. They may try to blame you for their infidelities. They may try to blame you for being so secretive about their electronic devices, and say you don’t trust them.

Usually, when you point out to narcissists what you don’t like about their behaviors, the gloves are off. They understand that you don’t fall for their facade anymore. You no longer fall for their great delusion. And so they will do things to make you pay for it.

They may convince you that you are a narcissist. You are the one acting in hurtful ways because narcissists always have to be the victim in their own stories. So even if you’ve done it all upfront, you’ve done everything you can for the relationship, and you go to them and say, “Hey, I’m noticing these things about your behavior and I’d like to talk about it. I’ve noticed you’re not telling the truth, or I’ve noticed you said you’re going to stop.” This case, but you’re still going on. Or you feel like you’re trying to turn our kids against me.” These topics will incite narcissistic harm.

These are the things that usually happen in the first scenario. But, it might as well work out like this…

2 They agree with everything you say and pretend they will try to do better
In this scenario, they will say things that make it seem like they are on the same page as you.

They might say, “Yeah, you’re right. I need to watch myself. I need to be more clear about what I’m about to do.” They may even apologize for hurting your feelings.

Narcissists apologize sometimes but, as you will find out, their apologies are not genuine because they always come back to the thing they were doing and for which they apologized. It may be the same day or it may take several weeks, but they will always come back to do it. And even if you don’t catch them, you can rest assured that they are doing it behind your back.

Does confronting the narcissist make them move away?

It could look this way. Often, narcissists will have someone in their pipeline; Another source of supply, someone they’ve been taking care of behind your back — or maybe not behind your back. For example, I recently received a question from a woman asking, “My boyfriend told me he took a random girl’s number just to be friends. I’m trying to figure out what that means.”

If your partner is getting phone numbers from random people, that should be a huge red flag. But this is how triangulation often begins. They’ll say things that sound pretty innocent, like, “I just met this girl today and got her number so we can be friends.” Unless they know this person from perhaps a school or college, they should not ask people for their phone numbers or take phone numbers from random people.

If you think you are dealing with a narcissist, that means they are trying to groom that person to see if they will pass the litmus test of a good narcissist supply. That’s how it generally starts so that when you confront them and then maybe they leave, or you leave, it’s all giving free space for the narcissist to move on and set that person up, to love them, and get that person hooked so that when you confront him with his behaviors, he’ll probably give you the silent treatment. and goes to initialize its new supply source.

That’s why, when you finally decide to end the relationship, they can dive right into a new relationship with someone else – all of a sudden – the love of their life. When this happens, they shine a spotlight on you to make you believe they’ve found their soulmate and true love, but they also bombard you with love and pump out new supplies.

I just want them to leave me alone

Confronting the narcissist with the hope that they’ll walk away and saying, “Oh, you’re with me now. I’m just going to go and walk away. Have a good life,” is usually a fantasy. It doesn’t usually happen this way. Narcissists have been known to return after 5, 10, and 20 years. So even if you’ve convinced yourself that the narcissist will never come back, that they hate your guts, and don’t want to breathe the same air as you, don’t be surprised if they jump back on the scene as if nothing happened and reverse any progress you’ve made.

This is why I strongly advocate no contact because you can’t leave it up to the narcissist. Confronting narcissists, wondering if they’re going away forever, or perhaps hoping to find someone new so they’ll leave you alone – these are things many of us want but don’t usually happen. We have to be the ones who set, uphold and maintain boundaries.

So if you had a previous relationship with a narcissist and were shocked that they reached out after two years, you might want to ask yourself what you expected. Narcissists are notorious for recycling old supplies, and although they may seem to love the new person, they know that eventually, the relationship will start to crumble around their ankles.