You’re such a dull, boring person! I don’t know why I fell in love with you!
God, you’re so needy! Stop wanting hugs and affection all the time – I’m too busy!
Ah, yes, overt narcissists. They make no secret of the fact that they’re complete idiots – but wait!
What’s that right there in front of my eyes?
A cunning, deceitful person – who hides their abuse well!
Ah – even more dangerous than the most proud of their public persona…
…covert narcissists.
What makes them so dangerous?…
What is a Covert Narcissist?
Okay. You can Google the meanings of covert narcissism until you’re clear, but here’s my detailed description of what covert narcissism really means, and what covert narcissism really is:
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A covert narcissist is more concerned with establishing their own self-importance.
They have the same intense desires as overt narcissists, but they don’t express their opinions publicly.
Covert narcissists like to be subtle and are difficult to detect. They may appear condescending and gentle in nature, but they have the same motivation.
They feign humility, perhaps even enlightenment, but they elicit your sympathy just like an overt narcissist does.
Covert narcissists are determined to upset you and will act arrogant and passive-aggressive whenever they get the chance.
Hidden Traits? Tell me more! I’ve covered it all!
Covert Narcissists:
They have a constant need—indeed, an intense desire—for validation. Never exclude them from a group chat. Never tell them important news at the end. Or do it, and discover their true colors based on how they handle it!
They are extremely sensitive to criticism. I mean, all you have to do is mention one thing, and their pride will be so deeply affected that you’ll see tears instead of anger, as if they were a superficial narcissist.
They’ll take advantage of you as much as they can. If you can help them, that’s great, and you should too! If you let them down once, they’ll hold you responsible and never let you forget it.
They’re extremely self-obsessed. Maybe it’s a matter of self-image. Maybe they’re trying to portray themselves as superior spiritual beings. They don’t mind pretending to be weak, as it’s an excuse for their fears, which sometimes bubble up under the guise of spiritual practice.
They get bored easily. They don’t mind moving on suddenly or if the opportunity presents itself. They want to keep draining as much of life as possible without giving it back.
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When you or others talk, they may nod, smile, and appear interested, but they don’t really care. They like to listen to other people’s problems so they don’t feel bad about themselves.
They’re good at playing the victim. They take any opportunity to gain your sympathy, whether it’s a call or a message to check in, or to meet them for a drink or dinner. They also love it when you stop everything you’re doing to listen to them—even if you never expected anything in return!
8 Reasons Covert Narcissists Are So Dangerous
- Being Tricked
The first and most important thing to remember is that covert narcissists want to trick you.
Their entire behavior revolves around convincing you that they’re not, but the way they act is the danger.
They disguise themselves.
- Everything is Covert
You won’t even know what covert narcissists are really doing, because everything will be secret.
They’re so adept at hiding their toxicity that they almost carry a shovel with them everywhere they go!
This is what makes them so dangerous. It’s hard to uncover their secrets once they’ve buried them without a trace.
You have to be very smart and alert to speak up and get evidence to back them up.
- You never know what will happen next.
Who will?!
Covert narcissists won’t tell you their plans, and those plans will change soon anyway.
Not knowing can cause intense anxiety. Will they talk to you today? What’s their mood? Have they forgiven you for not being able to meet with them last week?
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Many questions come to mind, and you won’t find a definitive answer.
- The risk of losing someone close to you is always present.
This can be done in subtle ways, so let’s review each one separately.
The first is how covert narcissists annoy you by convincing you that those around you aren’t good enough for you, or that you’re too good for them.
You don’t want to spend time with them? They constantly bring you down. You always feel stressed after seeing them. You know I want the best for you.
You’re too good for them! Come on! Spend time with me. We can do whatever you want.
See how it’s always about “your comfort?”
That’s the subtle nature behind trying to control who you see, when, and how often.
Tell me this isn’t dangerous.
- You’ll be in charge
of everything.
That’s why I advise those with a covert narcissist in their life to keep letters or take notes about the arrangements.
Related : The One Phrase That Will Leave Any Narcissist Powerless!
You’ll be responsible if you let them down because you really can’t do anything. It’s not easy, but that’s what makes them so dangerous.
- Confess!
Hey, I’m not saying that admitting any kind of abuse is dangerous, but it should be. It’s usually too late before you realize it, and the damage has already been done.
Often, trying to spot a covert narcissist is the real problem. What does this mean?
It means they can get away with it in the time they have.
- You Don’t See Them Coming
Why would you do this? If you’ve never experienced narcissism, you’d never spot someone who exhibits it—someone who’s covert.
They’re very nice. They’re very humble. They want to listen to your stories and engage with them. They want to tell you all about their spiritual practices. They want to be around you all the time while you do what they want you to do.
Of course, you won’t see them coming.
- Clean Up
Narcissists always leave a mess for you to clean up—and it’s never pretty.
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You might think clutter means trash everywhere, or dirty laundry, but that’s not what I mean. I mean the clutter they create in your:
- Your relationships
- Your mental health
- Your physical health
- Maybe even your job
- Your self-esteem
- Your presentation, such as your image
- Your self-confidence
- Your self-belief
Cleaning up can take a long time, and it can be complicated. I don’t want you to think it’s impossible, but covert narcissists will leave you exhausted and unsure what to do next.
But don’t let that stop you!
