Narcissism is described as extreme introversion that causes a person to ignore the needs of those around him. Not everyone with this trait displays abusive behavior, but those who fall on the higher end of the spectrum can become quite manipulative and aggressive in unexpected places.
Keri McAvoy, a narcissistic abuse awareness advocate, shared in a TikTok video a specific place that became terrifying when her narcissistic ex-husband was involved.
I explained what it’s like to be a passenger in a car with a narcissist.
“There’s nothing better than being a passenger in a car with a narcissist,” McAvoy began in her video.
“When I met my ex, I thought he was the safest driver I had ever met,” she said. “I was irritated by his caution.” However, when McAvoy and her ex finally got married, everything about it changed significantly.
He became a “terrifying” driver, and being with him in the car quickly went from feeling safe to fearing for her life. It got to the point that if McAvoy was in the car with him, she would distance herself and pretend she wasn’t there, or engage in a game on her phone so she could ignore everything going on around her.
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“I often felt that getting into the car with him was putting my life in danger,” McAvoy recalls. He added: “He was walking in the back door, playing chicken with the other drivers, and he was provoking them by slowing down, and they knew that he might provoke road rage.”
She had a distinct memory of him swerving and quickly cutting off other drivers. Sometimes, it was even on the bumper of other cars.
“I’ve never been more terrified,” she said. “We often don’t talk about how abuse comes in so many different forms in these relationships, and it includes things like driving. Abuse becomes a whole environment that you breathe in. It’s like living with carbon monoxide. You’re slowly getting poisoned.”
Research has found that there is a link between narcissism and aggressive driving.
According to the Association for Psychological Science, researchers from Ohio State University and the University of Luxembourg wanted to know whether narcissism predicts aggressive driving, which is the cause of more than half of traffic accidents in the United States alone.
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In three studies, they evaluated people who displayed subclinical levels of narcissism. The questionnaire had participants rate how strongly they agreed with items such as: “I like to be the center of attention” or “I am an extraordinary person” on a scale of one to five. They then addressed similar items about aggressive driving behavior: “I often swear when I drive,” or “When I drive my car, I easily get angry with other drivers.”
The study found that “the more narcissistic drivers are, the more angry and aggressive they become on the road.”
Abusive narcissists also tend to use car rides to provoke fights, often risking the safety of everyone in the car because they are angry and not thinking clearly. It is also common for narcissists to threaten to kick passengers out of the car or leave if they do not immediately apologize and do what the narcissist wants.
Experts recommend that although narcissistic car drama is a common form of narcissistic abuse, you should focus on staying safe. “Do your best not to escalate the fight, even if you are 100% right,” the article said.
“If you have another way to get where you want to go, do not get back into the car. However, if you are in the middle of nowhere, do everything you can to calm the person down so you can both be safe.”
