Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a difficult diagnosis even for experienced mental health professionals, yet most women who date today will tell you that at some point they have felt a magnetic pull toward a man or several men who they would at least describe as having a narcissistic personality. Narcissistic personality traits. But why would a modern, intelligent woman think about engaging in relationships with this type of man when there is so much dating advice warning us about the emotional abuse that narcissists are known for, and behaviors like “gaslighting,” “love bombing,” and “emotional violence” that… Narcissists are famous for it. the like?
The dictionary definition of a narcissist is “a person who is excessively self-involved, often conceited and selfish [or, in psychoanalytic terms], a person who suffers from narcissism, and derives sexual satisfaction from admiration for his physical or mental self.” characteristics.”
The clinical diagnostic criteria for narcissistic personality disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM 5) are very specific and complex, and fortunately, narcissistic personality disorder remains rare. However, there are many people who display narcissistic behaviors, and the majority of these people are men.
Whether they qualify for the diagnosis or not, their charming appeal combines with their emotionally abusive behavior to destroy women’s hearts and lives on a regular basis.
Related: What It Means When Narcissistic Men Say ‘I Love You’
We all know someone we could describe as a narcissist, but why would any self-respecting woman want to be with someone if they only care about themselves?
There are two basic reasons why even the smartest women find men with narcissistic personality traits so attractive and have difficulty breaking up with them.
- Narcissists know how to make you feel like you are the only person in the world.
This concept is very real to someone with narcissistic tendencies, while to the rest of us it will seem like a story of whirlwind romance, destiny, true love, fate, and every other cliché you can think of.
For most of us, it’s hard to find a real connection, so when you finally meet someone who’s completely into you and wants to get into a live relationship, it can be so exciting, it makes us forget about the “little things.”
These little things may include:
Whether you are always leading during conversations, whether you are given the opportunity to express your feelings as they arise, and whether these feelings are taken into account or quickly dismissed
Whether they are typically rude to the people they serve and/or treat people as less than human
Whether they frequently invade your personal space, no matter how many times you ask them not to
These little things may seem like no big deal at first, because you might think they’re excited to find someone to connect with too, and feeling that way makes them a little awkward.
When we get to know someone new, it can be easy to push away our feelings or opinions because we are just learning about each other and want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but over time, a person with narcissistic tendencies will change. They continue to be all about themselves.
People like this can be very manipulative and may shame or feel guilty for agreeing with them and their ideas. Over time, they will likely start to make you feel bad when you express legitimate feelings and concerns.
Related: 3 Things Narcissists Will Try To Use Against You (And How To Respond)
- Narcissists are highly skilled at lowering your self-esteem.
Another narcissistic trait is dehumanizing others through behaviors such as gaslighting, name-calling, and making jokes at others’ expense. They may try to pass these behaviors off as humor or emotional intimacy, but the truth is that this is how these men work to maintain control over you.
If you start to feel like your lives are intertwined, take a look at their lives and how involved they are in what’s going on with them, as narcissists tend to enjoy invading your personal space while simultaneously preventing you from entering theirs. .
In some cases, they may tell you who you should and shouldn’t spend time with and why, or they may try to micromanage your life, believing that they should have access to whatever aspects of it they want. At first, this can seem endearing, but it often turns out to be unfair instead.
