I could write an entire book about the worst things you can do when dealing with a narcissist. All of these things can be summed up in one message that I must pass on to you.
Believing a narcissist is like opening your heart, your trust, your kind and compassionate nature only to have it all crushed in front of you.
I repeat, no good can come from believing them because they are full of lies. Narcissists don’t know how to be honest – they were never born with a seed of sincerity.
Here’s why.
What’s Bad About Believing a Narcissist?
Your kind heart is likely to be honest and genuine. That’s why you’ve placed so much trust in believing the narcissist in your life.
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From a coworker to a friend or family member – narcissists are everywhere, and completely escaping them is impossible.
You can do things to help reinforce your boundaries when they show themselves, but the most effective way to keep yourself safe is to not believe a word they say.
Don’t believe their smile, don’t believe their actions, don’t believe their promises.
Being disappointed is very painful. Assuming that people hold the same values as you do is a good trait that proves that you value honesty and consistency in people’s behavior.
A narcissist doesn’t do that.
The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can escape the idea that they mean well.
They cause problems and conflict because they thrive on drama and won’t stop until they see a sea of chaos that they will happily sail away from.
Belief in them is the key ingredient in creating that storm, so to avoid it – avoid believing them.
Why a Narcissist Wants You to Believe Them
Imagine the loneliest, most insecure, most sad person in the world. You feel sorry for them, right? In your mind, they are isolated and alone; you just want to be there for them and support them.
Kindness invokes those feelings, so you’re not wrong for wanting to help. However, narcissists don’t present themselves that way.
The loneliness, insecurity, and sadness are still there, but all of these feelings are masked by the supplies they get from others.
They beg, steal, and borrow everything from trust to kindness, but these supplies are short-lived and they desperately need more supplies.
If you are to believe narcissists, their manipulation tactics have worked on you. They have lured you in and taken full advantage of your good nature.
They want you to believe that they are good people because they need to be loved.
NarcissisticRage
Narcissists are like a volcano in motion, ready to erupt at any moment. They are constantly creating small earthquakes wherever they go, making people feel that the ground beneath their feet is becoming more and more unstable.
When that volcano finally erupts, you will know it.
Verbal aggression, yelling, name-calling, manipulation, threats, or even in the most extreme cases – physical violence, it all comes out, and you never know what you will get.
Narcissistic rage is full of lies, but because it’s presented in such an intense way, it’s easy to believe everything they say.
How useless you are.
How horribly you’ve acted.
How you’ve constantly gotten everything wrong.
All the unfair ways you’ve treated them.
All to get attention and get you back to that familiar corner of the room where you throw your hands up and apologize constantly until they’re satisfied.
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Their rage is the catalyst for you to ask for forgiveness.
BeingPrivateIsNotGood for a Narcissist
Losing yourself is one of the consequences of spending too much time with a narcissist. They strip you of your color and vitality because they don’t like the way you look, and they want it for themselves.
They covertly (or overtly) work to strip you of your personality and self-confidence, and they will force it on themselves, look in the mirror, and say, “Don’t I look good?”
Once you start feeling like you’re drifting away from them, you’ll lack confidence in yourself anymore, giving them a lot more room and potential to tell you that you’re a terrible person.
They may not say these words directly, but they will make you feel that way as they throw another insult at you, accuse you of being lazy, ban you from your friends, make fun of you if you start a new hobby – the list goes on.
Believing them means fitting into a box they’ve carved for you that doesn’t look like you at all. Believing them means you’ve started doubting yourself long ago, and now you don’t recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror.
WorstThing for Them… or for You?
The belief you give a narcissist when you believe them will only end badly for you.
Their charm has led you to surrender this power to them, and once they have you in their possession, they will begin actions to harm you.
It doesn’t stop there, as manipulation is the usual next step to distort your reality and make you question your sanity through vague truths.
Of course, this is designed to make you doubt yourself, but when you believe them, you leave yourself behind for their benefit.
Don’tBeManipulated
It’s time to take a stand and make sure that believing anything a narcissist says or does is true. This is the highest form of emotional abuse a person can inflict.
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The trauma behind believing what they say can last a lifetime and affect every aspect of your life.
They will eventually make you believe that you cannot live independently or without them. They want you to be addicted to them so that they have a steady supply of your good nature.
Narcissists will make promises and tell you that you are crazy if you remind them of them.
Failure to do so should prove that they are not delivering on their promises, and continuing to believe them will only lead to more pain over time.
So, the next time you are offered the opportunity to believe anything that comes out of a narcissist’s mouth – ask yourself – “Do I want to be involved in this, or can I think for myself and live the life I choose instead of what they expect of me?”
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